Christian dating sites

[brettnolan]

All right maybe I'm not being clear enough. Besides having a big head, you have no idea what you're talking about.

You take the kids to the park don't you.

If I take my kids to the park, I spend the entire time helping my 2 yr old get on the swing, slide down the slide, making sure she doesn't climb somewhere she can't get down, etc. And again, you're assuming that everyone can just walk right up and start talking to the attractive mother (probably married) there with her kids. Or, that everyone is good looking enough to have the woman come talk to them.

They have friends that have single parents don't they.

You'd be surprised at the limited supply of single parents that one would want to date.

You should have friends yourself that'll hook you up with someone they know.

Most of my closest friends are not Christians. So even if they WERE to try and hook me up, what do you think I'm getting there. Virtually ALL of my Christian friends are married and I'm not going to ask them to set me up. If they want to, they will. But they all know my situation, and NADA.

All I'm hearing is excuses. And even if you're right it's still selfish because you're looking for something for yourself. Not looking to give love you're looking to get love.

What's the difference in meeting someone here or there for dating purposes? Of course I'm looking for something (a date) for myself. How would that be different at work, church or Wal-Mart? It follows that I would be looking to give love to the date, no matter where I met her, not just receive it from her. That's silly. What? Am I supposed to fall in love with a girl BEFORE I ask her out.

 

[ummidrinkcherrycoke]

Oh I have a big head? Personal attacks are cool...... I guess.

I dont believe in falling in love. Ususally if you fall you hurt yourself. Plus if you can fall into love you can fall out of it and why would you want to do that. Love's not a feeling or an emotion its a choice or action. I'm not going to ramble on and on about love since thats not what this thread is even about.

It sounds to me like you have low self-confidence and if thats true you should work on that. It'll probably help you get a date.

But I don't know you so I could be wrong. I mean really what should it matter what I think I'm just a person on a computer. But go ahead and reply with as many personal attacks as you wish. I think personal attacks are funny.

 

[BigToe]

you're personally attacking him too though.

not everyone has great confidence in themselves. its not a reason to judge them or attack them. just as having confidence isnt a reason for an attack either. just keep in mind everyone is different and they all function differently.

and i am sure if he wanted he could get a date whenever he wanted as well- it just wouldnt be the type of person he would want to date. THAT i think is the issue he is most concerned with. so i doubt he is out just to get a little lovin for himself, but find a connection with someone that could possibly develop into a longer lasting relationship instead of it being a fall in and out of love type thing.

 

[charligirl]

I don't buy it. I might be young at 23 but I don't go to college. I do work for a small company (3 employees) and go to church that has a small singles group. All that and I still have no problem finding a date when I want one. I think that age is an excuse.Personally I meet people through friends, family, people I interact with through work, church or ministry. Just through daily life. If you're socially active you're bound to meet people.

I am extremely socially active, intelligent and good looking, I have many many friends, am active in ministry, work in the centre of London and meet literally hundreds of single people my age through my job... and yet for NINE YEARS I did not meet anyone to date.

People who met me were constantly amazed that I was still single saying things like 'but you're good looking and good company there must be men queuing up to take you out'. But like some of the others on here, I found that nearly all the people I met in London were not christians, my christian friends were nearly all married and the only singles in the church were under 25, and all having a fine time dating I may add.

Age DOES have something to do with it, at 22 there was a wealth of men to meet and date, by 32 most of the single men I met were either divorced, married or perpetual batchelors with a committment problem.

I remember being your age and talking to my church single friends in their 30's and thinking what you think... give it another 10 years and see if you have changed your mind or not.

Internet dating CAN be desperate, that depends on the individual. But in this e-communication world it can be a great way to meet new like minded friends, that may lead to something more

 

[pipebomb]

jesus is dead, get over it

 

[Stanfi]

I don't buy it. I might be young at 23 but I don't go to college. I do work for a small company (3 employees) and go to church that has a small singles group. All that and I still have no problem finding a date when I want one. I think that age is an excuse.Personally I meet people through friends, family, people I interact with through work, church or ministry. Just through daily life. If you're socially active you're bound to meet people.

Let me make clear that I don't think it's wrong to meet people on the internet. But I do think that its desperate to go on a dating website to find a date. Thats just my opinion and if you don't agree thats fine with me.

I'm not going to argue with you. The point I am making is not something that can necessarily be shown or taught. It just has to be experienced as you do get older.

 

[brettnolan]

When are you moving to KC, Charli?

 

[brettnolan]

Good call Blanton.

ummi, I believe your first post blanketly labeled those using dating sites as "desperate." Is that not a personal attack since it was directed at thousands of people instead of one.

whatever, as mrstace said, maybe you'll learn as you grow up.

Am I the only one that finds this attitude snobby? If I am, then I'll shut up.

 

[secretdawn]

loveandseek.com is pretty good, but not a lot of people. There aren't lot of people on ANY of the Christian sites. I guess they don't want that label on them.

maybe christiandatingnet.com...i heard it had a decent amount of people..

 

[secretdawn]

Hey I'm not the one ALL the woman want and I didnt mean to imply that I was. I apologize If I made it sound that way. But I got to do my laundry too and I have to wash my car and I have to go to work come home and go to work again. Someones got to pay the rent. The only thing I can't relate to is the kids but even then I don't know why you can't be social. You take the kids to the park don't you. They have friends that have single parents don't they. You should have friends yourself that'll hook you up with someone they know. All I'm hearing is excuses. And even if you're right it's still selfish because you're looking for something for yourself. Not looking to give love you're looking to get love.

actually it is winter, so no park, don't have much money, so there goes the indoor places, and don't have any single parent friends, couples friends with kids...all the guys my friends know are only in it for sex, so of course she doesn't introduce me, there isn't a singles program at my church as far as i know, and i can't date anyone at work...so where do i go from there? (i am using me as an example, i am not actually trying to be with anyone, i am recently single and love it, but if i did that would be my situation.)

 

[secretdawn]

Good call Blanton.

ummi, I believe your first post blanketly labeled those using dating sites as "desperate." Is that not a personal attack since it was directed at thousands of people instead of one.

whatever, as mrstace said, maybe you'll learn as you grow up.

Am I the only one that finds this attitude snobby? If I am, then I'll shut up.

it wasn't a personal attack, it was an opinion and he had no idea whether or not someone here used them...i asked a question and he answered it, just cause someone is offended by it for whatever reason doesn't mean that it is a personal attack cause he wasn't picking out the other person.

and his attitued might be to you in you opinion, but to me i asked a question and he answered it honestly and openly and i appreciate a straight forward answer like his, so lets not all gang up on him alright?

 

[brettnolan]

Well, I hope you don't decide not to try a dating site because someone tells you only desperate people use them. In fact, I would say it's less than 20% out of desperation. And the nice thing about the web, is that you can filter them out pretty easily.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Ok, before this gets derailed and it gets closed, lets cool down a bit. Everybody take a deep breath.

ummidrinkcherrycoke is certainly entitled to his opinion. I don't happen to agree with it, but nonetheless, he is entitled to it. My advice to him would be that before he makes such broad, sweeping generalizations about people, to find out some more info. That way he avoids offending. I think there have been several of us in here who have showed him that we were not desperate by seeking out a christian dating site. It was just a way of extending our choices in meeting people. Good or bad, with the technology of the day, it is a choice. If he has no need for one and can meet eligible females in life off the internet, then I am very happy for him. He is truly blessed, indeed.

As for going to those sites to find someone who is interested in them, being a selfish act, I must say I fail to see the logic in this. Any relationship you enter, you hope that the other person is going to be interested in you. I don't think you enter into the relationship purely for the sake of the other person. You expect to get something out of it, a companion. I don't understand how that is selfish.

And as in life off of the internet, some romantic relationships you enter into, turn out just to be friendships. You may not have intended for them to be that way, but they did. It just happens that way sometimes. Sometimes that happens with people you meet on a "dating" website. You find out you are better off as friends than in a romantic relationship. Not all relationships end up in marriage, as I suppose most of us know. If you can keep that person as a friend, why not? I want the person I marry to be my friend first and foremost. So, as you date, sometimes you discover, friendship is all you will ever have. But, you don't know that sometimes until you date. Jumping right into a romantic relationship with someone doesn't make sense to me.

 

[charligirl]

When are you moving to KC, Charli?

LOL, you obviously missed my previous post in this thread

 

[brettnolan]

Yes, I didn't recognize the name. Sorry...er...I mean CONGRATULATIONS!!

 

[charligirl]

Yes, I didn't recognize the name. Sorry...er...I mean CONGRATULATIONS!!

thanks

 

[inchoate]

WOW great thread, I love a good debate! Most of the main points have already been raised but I love having my 2 cents worth so....here it is.

A lot of people fail to realise just how broad the Internet is and that it's uses are almost unlimited, from education, medicine, communication , entertainment etc. You may not agree with this type of technology and the applications but I'm afraid it's here to stay wether you like it not. To me buying a book off amazon or from my local book store achieves the same result. So why should going to a singles website or a bar be any different or for that matter have this unfavourable stigma attached to it. As soon as people realise this you wont find people labelled "desperate" or my favourite have "co-dependency issues"

To ummidrinkcherrycoke I don't really want to get in a slanging match with you because it's pretty obvious that you have walked into a room, bolted the door and nothing will get through that door. Which is a shame ....but I've got to ask. For examples sake lets assume you find yourself single (hopefully it never happens) anyway a few of your buddies decide to go to a bar/club. Tell me your not going to make sure your dressed to the nines and going to charm the girl who you happen to start talking to or think is attractive ??? of course you are and no one is going to label you selfish for doing so. So maybe you might realise that going to a singles website is exactly the same. The only difference there is no visual aid so you have to use your brain to get her interested rather then ones appearance. Which is no easy feat and in most cases they see the real person rather then the sugar coated "player" at the bar!!