Christian Dating, is there such a thing?

[wvmtnkid]

Dating/ Courting is the same way as you would make a friend the 4 "I"'s

Intrigue
Intrest
Intrust
In Love.

And they operate in that order and at the pace each individual selects(sometimes that pace is faster for some then others). There is such thing as dating and as courting, there are Godly ways to do so, but the thing about the "I" method is it works to find friends. I am still sticking with the fact that marring your best friend is the best way to go. You dont date your best friend you hang out with them, have dinner with them, eat with their family, watch their TV shows, they let you in their world and you let them in yours. Label it dating label it courting, whatever but it is what it is making friends or a best friend. Just as in many situations we have what we think are friend, turns out they arent, that can hurt, but that doesnt mean become a loner and hope God brings you one friend for your whole life. He gave us the choice to choose those friends, and our bestfriend. Agreed that when people date they say the L word cause it seems right, but I have several very very good friend that i Love (female) and they have said it to me and I to them....but there is no intent on marring one of these friends. So have I given my heart to quickly to them or a piece of it away....maybe but maybe not, but we give a piece of heart away all the time in many things we do, though it is the most fragile it is also the most functional, it overrides the brain and emotions, we have a lot of pieces to give away and still have a whole section for our best friend.

Warrior Poet

Marrying someone who was your best friend would certainly be the right way to go. As I said earlier, if the person you marry isn't your friend, than you will have a long road ahead of you.

I like what you said about giving pieces of your heart to your friends but still having enough to give to the person you marry. I never thought of it that way, but I think it is true. My very close friends hold a piece of my heart, but I still have more to give. Very thoughtful!

And WP, glad to see you back......

 

[SpiritPsalmist]

I like best what I learned from a previous Pastor. . .If we give God ALL of our heart then He gives us ALL of His heart and then there is an overflowing of His heart through us to all we come in contact with.

I also firmly believe, that when we are in this type of friendship with God then our hearts are guarded in our other relationships. We become less likely to be distracted by unhealthy one's. . .instead attracted to one's that will encourage us in our walks with God and in the prossess make us better friends. . . and better mates.

Yes WP it is good to see you back. . .you are a friend that has a piece of my heart. There's 3500 miles and 28 years between us and we've never met in person but I still consider you a good friend.

Thank you,

Q

 

[wvmtnkid]

Well said, Quaffer. Putting the focus on God should be the first and most important step in building our relationships, romantic or otherwise.

 

[Stanfi]

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Aside from that: Mrstace, what has been negative for you? That's really sad... try not to get discouraged. Is it that you have gotten involved with the wrong people, or just hurt when it ended, or what?

goodgirl,

Everyone I have ever met never had a mutual intrest. Either I liked them and they didn't like me (or have the same level of intrest). Or they liked me and I didn't them. I don't think it was necessarily bad people, but I just eneded up hurt when things ended. So, I am pretty much convienced that relationships for me are the equivalent of sticking a finger in a wall outlet. Eventually you get tired of getting shocked so you stay away from them.

I'm not saying that they are bad. Thet just have not been to much of a blessing in my life.

I will say that I feel that you need to know a person one on one, before you decide to marry them. I think you need to know each other very well, before you start saying "I do". I think that if you wait until after you are married to get to know someone, then it's a little to late.

 

[goodgirl]

oh well I hardly think people are saying don't get to know someone before you marry. I know I'm not.

As for the mutual interest thing, try not to get discouraged... just pay attention to your own traits and how they influence the kind of people you're attracted to. I have learned things myself, recently... things I now realize I need in a relationship. It will definitely change who I go out with in the future.

I'm the queen of "justfriends" myself... just try not to get bitter about it!

 

[Stanfi]

just try not to get bitter about it!

oops! Getting shocked, has a way of making a person a little cranky.

 

[Purpletigy]

Each time you "fall in love" you are giving a "piece" of you heart away. Each time you break up - you are leaving a "scar".

The Bible says - Above ALL else - guard your heart for it affects everything you do!

Regarding God helps those who help themselves - is not a verse!

In dating you are not learning how to have a loving-long term relationship - most "dating relationships" END! and not in marriage. It is estimated that a person will date 7 - 10 people before they get married. That is not teaching you to have a loving long-term relationship.

amen Brett!