choosing churches

[Rajah]

different churches

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how do you know if a church has a lot of religion? There are 2 churches I've visited and one of them he's a good teacher, but the worship is kind of tradional hymns with bongos and I just can't get past that. People are nice

I don't have that much fellowship but I'd left early and 2 people facebooked me wanting to know why I left early? Seems you get contacted if you try to leave the church....

then in CC, the worship is more contemporary and I enjoy that and get more out of it, but just don't have the fellowship needs met there. And he's a good teacher too. Good thing is a summer bible study is planned and I'm going to sign up for it

If I knew a church would be a word of faith, but it's all nondenomination churches here... hard to choose.
__________________

 

[Autumnleaf]

Its a spiritual thing. You know it when you feel it.

 

[Rajah]

I'd be inclined to agree with you. The first church seems that way..

 

[parsley]

The people were either nosy or trying to be thoughtful. I doubt they were representing the church, if they already had your FB connection...but it reflects how people at the church behave.

They might have worried you were sick. But still, it seems rude to ask it that way. It would have been more thoughtful to just put feelers out -- "Hey. I saw you at church, hope you enjoyed it."

The Bible Study sounds like a great option. It's a good sign too, because so many churches cut out meetings in the summer with the excuse that nobody's around. Well, I'm around and Christian living does not stop.

 

[Rajah]

The people were either nosy or trying to be thoughtful. I doubt they were representing the church, if they already had your FB connection...but it reflects how people at the church behave.

They might have worried you were sick. But still, it seems rude to ask it that way. It would have been more thoughtful to just put feelers out -- "Hey. I saw you at church, hope you enjoyed it."

The Bible Study sounds like a great option. It's a good sign too, because so many churches cut out meetings in the summer with the excuse that nobody's around. Well, I'm around and Christian living does not stop.

I'm excited about it. It's called Christian virtues; faith, love, courage, integrity, moderatin, perserverance, wisdom, hope, justice.

yeah they thought I was sick, but after talking to my husband he said he wanted nothing to do with that church. I'd feel weird if I went back. Funny how you can be somewhere and you don't get too much interaction and then you don't come and people freak out.

 

[Cernunnos]

Go where your husband feels more comfortable, if your faith is stronger than his. If his faith is stronger than yours, he should yeild to your spiritual needs. This is how a husband should love his wife as Christ loves the Church. Go where the one with greater need feels comfortable.

 

[Albion]

I agree with Cernunnos' basic point.

You can't go down this road without a commitment to find a church that both you and your husband are happy with. He is willing to cooperate with you; and you MUST accommodate his feelings about whatever church you two look into.

If you are not determined to find a church that both of you agree on, you will fail in your search. It's possible, of course, that one of you will feel stronger than the other one about whichever church you settle on, but it has to be a mutual decision to say "this is the one."

 

[parsley]

and you MUST accommodate his feelings

Strong words there.

Rajah, you have been married a long time -- it's not like you haven't made a lot of mutual decisions already. There are no scriptural rules requiring attendance at the same church/temple, but it sounds like you want to find one together.

Many couples scout out churches separately, and come home to compare their experiences. Some find mid-week meetings at other churches that they attend, even when deciding on one church.

I'd feel weird if I went back.

It seemed they were trying too hard, which can appear fake or desperate, or domineering. And then it makes a person feel worse, that people thought they could be duped or condescended to. Better to just be a half step above one's normal nature, when trying to be caring.

 

[Rajah]

I'm stronger than he is, so we will continue to attend CC. He's been dragging his heels about church, and now that he has TOLD me he is not interested in NC, I won't press it any more. I thought he was being indecisive even more than me.

 

[Rajah]

hmm thinking about the going to other places during the week and comparing experiences. If I tried that with NC, I'd feel pressure to return. I have trouble learning when to close the door if something is not going to be mutually beneficial.

 

[Albion]

Strong words there.

Hmmm. Well, I see now that that sentence can be taken two ways. I did NOT mean that she has some obligation to defer to whatever "the man" says or wants. Rather, I meant that she really MUST approach this as a quest that both parties have to agree on. If that is not understood, it probably will undermine the whole venture, which is supposed to be about the both of them finding an acceptable church. Having said that, I should add one more note of explanation....it is easy, when one party thinks they've found a church that they like, to slip out of that mindset and begin pressuring the other spouse to accept it. (More recent posts from Rajah seem to indicate that she's quite mindful of this issue, though.)

 

[BFine]

I go for good bible teaching-- the Christian music I want to listen to
we have it playing on the cd player in the car, I take part in praise and
worship at church (it's for the Lord glory) this be my sacrifice of praise.

Fellowship or koinonia-- fellowship, sharing in common/ sharing communion.
Sharing in biblical teaching, being devoted to holding to God's Word, breaking
of bread and being devoted to prayer, showing agape to one another etc.
This goes beyond potluck or having coffee, doughnuts and regular chit-chat.

Actually, I've found very few Christians who want to be involved in koinonia
as it's demonstrated in the Bible.

 

[Rajah]

Strong words there.

Rajah, you have been married a long time -- it's not like you haven't made a lot of mutual decisions already. There are no scriptural rules requiring attendance at the same church/temple, but it sounds like you want to find one together.

Many couples scout out churches separately, and come home to compare their experiences. Some find mid-week meetings at other churches that they attend, even when deciding on one church.

It seemed they were trying too hard, which can appear fake or desperate, or domineering. And then it makes a person feel worse, that people thought they could be duped or condescended to. Better to just be a half step above one's normal nature, when trying to be caring.

thanks for this. I like some of the people but I feel like they have nothing to say to me outside of church. It does seem kind of unnatural.

 

[Rajah]

I go for good bible teaching-- the Christian music I want to listen to
we have it playing on the cd player in the car, I take part in praise and
worship at church (it's for the Lord glory) this be my sacrifice of praise.

Fellowship or koinonia-- fellowship, sharing in common/ sharing communion.
Sharing in biblical teaching, being devoted to holding to God's Word, breaking
of bread and being devoted to prayer, showing agape to one another etc.
This goes beyond potluck or having coffee, doughnuts and regular chit-chat.

Actually, I've found very few Christians who want to be involved in koinonia
as it's demonstrated in the Bible.

that has not been our experience for a LONG time. Have to take what I can get and that includes these forums!

 

[parsley]

Koinonia...

that has not been our experience for a LONG time.

One wonders how we got so far from it.

He's been dragging his heels about church, and now that he has TOLD me he is not interested in NC, I won't press it any more. I thought he was being indecisive even more than me.

I've found when family or friends are indecisive, sometimes they're just focused more on making sure they get what they want or define themselves by their activities. Or want the other people to like them, so don't assert if it could make waves.

When we were kids, we did what our parents decided. Now when we get the freedom to decide, we sometimes get too self-based about it. And forget that God might have something totally different in mind. I have flashbacks of a couple trips where everyone stood around half an hour before each meal, "I don't know, where do you want to eat?" Too focused on ensuring great experiences, while the delay is a bad experience.

It seems okay to keep visiting until you agree on something. Get to know other Christians in your area!

 

[yellowfree]

Its a spiritual thing. You know it when you feel it.

what you said there was profound..( been going through stuff so this is relevant to me in another situation possibly the church things too)


I went to two churches but I know what I want is a Church where the spiritual gifts are in action demonstration..and there is sure connection to God and there is life..

I mean maybe something similar or to Bethel Church...like where there is prophecy..

 

[Rajah]

everything else here is independent, I've tried looking for "word of faith". So I'll have to somehow tell these 2 ladies we're not coming back...

 

[Albion]

I hate to say it, but it sounds like you entered into your "search" for a church home with the mindset that if the first few don't turn out to be perfect, you don't really need one.