- Jan 29, 2018
- 1
- 0
- 65
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Methodist
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
My choir director is good at what he does where teaching choral music is concerned. The problem I have with him is that he doesn't know how to talk to people, especially when he wants to address issues within the choir. Last evening in the midst of rehearsal he says, "I'm gonna pause here so let's talk." He then presents to the choir a number of things that were out of order on Sunday morning. I was one of the items on the list so I'll start with myself. He never called any names, but among the laundry list was me going to the head musician to ask for help on behalf of our lead soloist who was unsure about her pitch. I went in to ask for help when my director comes over and asks what I was doing. When I attempted to explain, he cut me off saying, "I need you in the choir stand! I've got this!" He then proceeded to grab me by my shoulders and practically shove me out the door of the sanctuary in front of the musicians. While I realize I might've overstepped my authority, I feel that he had no business grabbing me by the shoulders and pushing me out of the sanctuary as such. It was embarrassing to me then and it was embarrassing as he addressed it in choir rehearsal in front of the entire choir. Everyone knows who he was referring to because I use to direct the choir after he left the church once before. I didn't say anything in response because although he says let's talk, if anyone says anything that he doesn't agree with he shoots them down. Another case in point. An older female choir member had some issues trying to get into the choir stand that same morning. She had some restroom issues right after she arrived for church. As a result, she was tardy getting to the choir stand. Her robe was in disarray so I asked her to step back outside the choir loft so that I could help her get properly dressed. This lady made an attempt to explain what happened to her after she had arrived on time. The director proceeded to talk down to her in the ugliest tone he could muster. She continued to try to explain but he kept interrupting her and told her to hush. He might as well had said shut up to her because he got very loud and boisterous. His level of disrespect towards her was horrendous to say the least. He thinks that asserting his authority means that he can talk to people any kind of way and disrespect people and that's just not right. While there were things that needed to be addressed to the unit as a whole, some of the things directed towards individuals such as myself and this lady (there were other individuals) in my opinion should've been addressed in private. Another instance was when teaching a baritone part. There is only one gentleman who tries to sing baritone. He has difficulty learning his part. In this same rehearsal, the director got frustrated and told the only baritone we have to just stop singing and "Milli Vanilli" it for now instead of offering to get with him individually to try to work with him. What a comment to make in front of other choir members! This guy returned to the choir last year, but I wouldn't be surprised if he leaves again never to return. I feel like our director enjoys embarrassing people as this apparently gives him an ego rush. He's also from time to time been known to use expletives (curse words) towards the choir when something is not to his liking in the church sanctuary. I've been a member of this choir for over 30 years and for the first time ever find myself considering dropping out of the choir because of his abuse of authority. I couldn't bring myself to even look at him and found myself praying in the midst of his screaming at that lady as if she was a child being scolded. Does anyone have any thoughts as to how the director's behavior can be addressed? This is physical and verbal abuse of power on so many levels. Some members are considering going to the senior pastor and/or the SPRC (Staff Parish Relations Committee - the hiring/firing body of the church).
