Hello guys,
First of all...don't take this as a poor me thread, I thought I might share this because it might help me deal with it better. ever since I was a kid to a mid-teen, I've always struggle over losing my mom when I was just 18mo's old. so I never really got to meet her or remeber her, my dad who was a alcoholic died when I was just twelve(some are skeptic of the fact that my stepmother might have choke him in his sleep) I never really had a relationship with him either.
on top of all this...I've had three major surguries, and because of circumstances...I could never get married or have my own family. so I struggle with lust alot. and since I was young I thought about the future ahead of me, and how I was going to deal with it, and adjust my life around these obstacle.I knew, right off the bat, that these things would not be apart of my life.and I've always struggle to deal with it. I always wonder to myself, what it would have been like, to have been imbrace and loved by my own mother. and to not have had a alcoholic dad. or what would it have been like for him to teach me and show me the ways of life. and to have my own kids and family.I've dealt with these things farily well, but evey now and then, the struggles come back. the enemey is always telling me, that God cut me a bad deal, that God wasn't fair to me. I don't usally believe this, but sometimes, I admitt to wondering. why this has happen. I know he knows the plans and future for me (jer 29:11) but sometimes it's hard to imbrace.
I do try to be a role model to kids, cause I think they are adorable. he's givin me a nack and a passion for them. and I work with kids in sports and awana. so I feel that doing that helps me deal with some of my problems. and I try to be and example to youngs guys who are like I am. and alot of those guys know me and my life, and the admire me and look up to me, and how far I've came. overall I've done pretty good with these struggles. but I am human and do have my days. but I figure it like this. is christ truely sufficient enough for me despite my circumstances? we say he is, we sing about it. but is he really? their are times in our lives, when we will be challenge about what we say or sing about him. and I'm dealing with this challenge now-thanks for listening.
First of all...don't take this as a poor me thread, I thought I might share this because it might help me deal with it better. ever since I was a kid to a mid-teen, I've always struggle over losing my mom when I was just 18mo's old. so I never really got to meet her or remeber her, my dad who was a alcoholic died when I was just twelve(some are skeptic of the fact that my stepmother might have choke him in his sleep) I never really had a relationship with him either.
on top of all this...I've had three major surguries, and because of circumstances...I could never get married or have my own family. so I struggle with lust alot. and since I was young I thought about the future ahead of me, and how I was going to deal with it, and adjust my life around these obstacle.I knew, right off the bat, that these things would not be apart of my life.and I've always struggle to deal with it. I always wonder to myself, what it would have been like, to have been imbrace and loved by my own mother. and to not have had a alcoholic dad. or what would it have been like for him to teach me and show me the ways of life. and to have my own kids and family.I've dealt with these things farily well, but evey now and then, the struggles come back. the enemey is always telling me, that God cut me a bad deal, that God wasn't fair to me. I don't usally believe this, but sometimes, I admitt to wondering. why this has happen. I know he knows the plans and future for me (jer 29:11) but sometimes it's hard to imbrace.
I do try to be a role model to kids, cause I think they are adorable. he's givin me a nack and a passion for them. and I work with kids in sports and awana. so I feel that doing that helps me deal with some of my problems. and I try to be and example to youngs guys who are like I am. and alot of those guys know me and my life, and the admire me and look up to me, and how far I've came. overall I've done pretty good with these struggles. but I am human and do have my days. but I figure it like this. is christ truely sufficient enough for me despite my circumstances? we say he is, we sing about it. but is he really? their are times in our lives, when we will be challenge about what we say or sing about him. and I'm dealing with this challenge now-thanks for listening.
