Child Punishment

[Washington]

If one agrees that a child may need punishment in order to change their behavior, do you see any justifiable difference in the effects of corporeal punishment---the infliction of physical pain, such as a spanking---and verbal punishment--the infliction of mental scolding such as shaming, insulting, and deprecation?

If one is preferable to the other, why?

 

[lawtonfogle]

Which would you classify time out/removal of privileges?

 

[yasic]

I believe a child should get a punishment which is a reflection of his poor action.

For example, hitting or yelling at a parent should cause the parent to explain or show their child how they become upset by the action and how they are unwilling to spend extra effort to increase the child's happiness.

Refusing to eat healthy food can be punished by explaining how food is a limited and necessary resource, and perhaps not feeding the child new food until the old one is fully consumed (what microwaves were built for). Eventually the child will get hungry and eat it.


A punishment should not be one which is intended just to harm or upset the child in and off itself. This includes physical, emotional, or verbal punishment. Yelling at a child for not eating is not helping them develop a cause/effect understanding of this world, and is instead teaching them that they can choose between yukky food or a yelling parent.

 

[HighwayMan]

All kids are different. Some are simply so stubborn and so unrelenting that there is no other way but physical punishment.

 

[SearcherKris]

Edited cause I misread the first time.

 

[bliz]

Why do we spend so much time talking about discipline, when our concern should be discipling?

 

[Lokke]

this will depend if the person h e have good parents.

 

[Penumbra]

It's hard to comment because I haven't had children yet, but I don't think I would ever strike a child. I was never struck.

-Lyn

 

[Mling]

In a perfect world, I'd be against 'punishment' as such, altogether, in favor of finding opportunities to discipline whenever possible. In the real world--not always possible.

The range of both makes it hard to compare them, though. Surely whipping your kid with a belt is worse than yelling "Shut up!" But I'd say that telling your kid "I'm so sick of you," "You're such an idiot," or "Why do you have to be so bad? Why can't you be good like your sister?" is probably worse than hitting him.

I have an online friend that truly believes she is a "black hole that money disappears into," that she isn't capable of living her own life and thinks that she doesn't deserve to be loved or cared for at all. She has absolutely no concept of altruism or love, and assumes that her presence is a burden on anybody she's near.

And she's also had her arm broken, and passed out from hunger many times, but I don't think that's done as much long-term harm as what's been said to her.

 

[quatona]

If one agrees that a child may need punishment in order to change their behavior,

Caveat: I´m not sure I agree - I guess it depends on what all you include in "punishment".
do you see any justifiable difference in the effects of corporeal punishment---the infliction of physical pain, such as a spanking---and verbal punishment--the infliction of mental scolding such as shaming, insulting, and deprecation? [/quote]
It´s hard to compare, because all depends on the grade and intensity (of both forms), but generally speaking both are poor parenting. I tend to think that the scars from emotional violence need longer to heal than those from physical violence.

 

[ReverendDG]

having had talks with parents, my own and others, my feeling is thishysical punishment should be the last resort ever, and if you are deciding to pick it all, you better have run out of ideas
hitting children is the sign of a poor parent otherwise.

 

[Mling]

having had talks with parents, my own and others, my feeling is thishysical punishment should be the last resort ever, and if you are deciding to pick it all, you better have run out of ideas
hitting children is the sign of a poor parent otherwise.

*nods* My mother's explained pretty clearly why she spanked me when I was younger, and why she stopped. Her explanation is that, she was a scared first time mother, and between her own upbringing, and her mother in law's advice, she believed that spanking was just how kids are disciplined. After the first time or two, though, she decided she didn't want it to be the first thing she turned to.

Once she made up her mind that she'd only spank if there was no other option--and started actively thinking about what those better options might be--she found she never needed to any more. As long as she could always think of things that worked better.