If this is in the wrong spot, my apologies and feel free to move it. This is tough to admit, but 3 years ago I stepped out on my marriage. I engaged in a 4 month affair with another married woman. Usually it does not matter who initiated the affair, but please stay with me. She pursued me for a couple of months at work before I took the bait. Knowing she was married, and she knew I was married. Eventually we were found out and the affair ended. Naturally, my marriage was in trouble. We had been married for 13 years. We managed to work through it and move on, getting back into church (we had always gone, but I stopped when the affair started). She lives in another town and later on quit work and that was that. During the months between getting caught and her quitting her job, it was evident that she had begun another affair, or a couple of them. Honestly, I was relieved knowing that she wouldn't came after me anymore if she had other men to play with. I felt terrible for my wife, and her husband for what I had done. When I saw her other affairs, I couldn't help but think of how her husband was being treated...and he doesn't even know. He is a high ranking official in the military. Recently, she has started to call me from a new number to hide any evidence from her husband. I've told her to stop calling me, but she occasionally calls or texts. I know it's her, but I can't prove it. I have zero doubt that she continues to cheat on her husband, all while he thinks that they have moved past it. She told me that he drug her to a Christian counselor on base and she pretended to get something out of it. Her husband is completely blind to it. Having been a willing participant in the only affair he's aware of, there is no way to can call him or inform him. Yet I have this longing to right my wrong as best I can, and somehow let him know. I know I would want to be told. Knowing what she is doing to him and doing nothing makes me feel like a player all over again. Any advice would be much appreciated!
