Cheating Boyfriend?

[LaurelLynn]

a

 

[Jonesie]

Coming from another guy, this is a scary situation. Cheating/adultery does not have to be physical. If he is entertaining other relationships, he is clearly not appreciative of you. You need to be with someone who absolutely loves you and would never want to compomise that relationship. He is not the one for you. Also, he is toeing a very fine line. Based on what you just found, I would say that he is close to taking things to the next level. You can never know for sure, but you should not even have to deal with this mess. The fact that he is in such positions of leadership is incredibly disappointing. His relationship with God is clearly not what it shoud be. Please do not pursue this relationship further. Please don't.

 

[Xenon]

Wow, that does not sound good. I'll go with Jonesie on this.

 

[newbie7]

I've been in a similar situation for a while. It is funny how easy it is for me to see that this is not a good relationship for you. I should probably listen to myself. I also know that my situation has completely destroyed my trust for my bf. I do not want a relationship without trust, it is a horrible place to be.

 

[K9_Trainer]

Cheating does not have to be physical. Let me ask you this....If your at the store and a handsome man begins to hit on you, would you ever consider it OK for you to flirt back? Or if that handsome man is standing in front of you, do you think it is it OK for you to initiate a flirting session? Probably not. That's basically what he's doing to you behind your back.

Personally, I'd get out of that relationship. I'm not trying to say "once a cheater, always a cheater" or that he will never change. But the odds are currently against it. If a guy cannot commit to you fully when your just bf/gf, what makes you think he can commit to you fully in a marraige? Marriage isn't going to stop him from doing what he wants to do.

I know you love him, but you deserve better than that. You deserve a man that is fully committed to you that you can trust 100% and not have the thoughts and doubts your having now.

 

[AmazonQueen]

If he actually calls them, then that shows some serious intentions. May be wait a little longer to find out how far he will go. But don't marry him until you find out. Either he will ultimately betray you, or come clean. One of them has to happen. If you keep intervening then you will never know and cast a shadow on your future marriage. If he cheats, then hopefully you will have the courage to leave.

 

[christianjeenn]

I'm pretty sure I already know the answer to this question, but I just have to hear it from somebody else. I'm really just venting.

First of all what are your opinions about what constitutes as cheating? Does it have to be physical?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years. We've been talking about marriage lately and it has caused me to take some serious thought of some past problems.

It's very confusing for me. He's the one that got me into Church. But about a year into the relationship I found out he had been asking out women behind my back over a site similar to Myspace. He knew the women. He lied to me about it before he figured out that he was caught and admitted it. He apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. I forgave him since nothing physical had actually happened.

However, yesterday I found an e-mail from another woman to him. It insinuated that he had been calling her in a flirtatious manner, but that nothing physical had happened.

A guy who is serious with his commitment won't entertain any gals anymore aside from you.. Whew! It is scaring that one day you'll find your guy cheating on you but i think it is better to find it out early than late....

 

[JSGuitarist]

I really don't like the sound of that. Don't call it good just because he says, "I'm sorry, it was a one-time thing, I won't do it agian." I had a friend who had been dating the same guy on and off even though he cheated several times, and in the end she is emotionally hurt. Please don't let yourself walk down that same road. He has to choose one or the other, he cannot try and please two girls when he should only be committed to one. Either it's to you or it's not.

 

[Sunburst]

Your "boyfriend" is not able to decide right now what it is he wants. These MySpace and facebook places cause prblems for some people that seem to be still looking,it makes it too easy to "cheat".

 

[katluver3781]

I say get out of this while you can, before you've committed to marriage. I know a girl who rushed into a relationship with a boy who flirted with a lot of different girls, and now they're married, have two kids, and he's cheated 4+ times with different girls, and lies about it constantly. She doesn't want to leave him because she doesn't want to be the reason her children don't know her father.

 

[PinkSpider]

What your boyfriend did is definitely cheating, but it also says something bad about the relationship. Either he isn't sure what he wants yet, and doesn't want to settle down (classic commitment fear) Or there's something going on in your relationship that he's unhappy with, and he feels he can only get what he's missing by going elsewhere.

Either way, cheating is wrong. If you want to continue a relationship with this person, make sure that he understands that that means committing to you and ONLY you. If he can't understand that, then the relationship won't work out. Honest communication is key.

What *REALLY* bothers me about the story is he lied about it until he was caught. That means that he knows what he's doing is wrong, and it also means that if he finds himself attracted to another woman again, chances are he won't tell you about it until it's too late.

Again, if you're really interested in this relationship, he has to know for certain that you won't put up with any lying or flirting.

 

[asianangel]

My definition of cheating (and it's a pretty good one). Something that he did that he would NOT do in your presence because he KNOWS that you would not approve.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

My definition of cheating (and it's a pretty good one). Something that he did that he would NOT do in your presence because he KNOWS that you would not approve.

x2. He not only cheated, he's a repeat cheater.