Character Descriptions. Post them!

[shirono]

There was a recent contest I took part in on Elftown. The challenge was to write out a section of a story and use it to describe your character. This won't be a contest,unless some one else wants to judge, I'm not so good at judging contests...it's hard to be impartial .

I any case, describe your character's facial features, clothing, personality and other physical attributes. No limit on how long it can be, I think everyone can tell when the length is to much.
Remember, this is meant to look like a piece that was just cut out of a longer story. The description needs to be in story form, not a list of attributes. Those are well and good for D&D characters, but this is about your writing skills as well as the description.

If anyone wants to turn this into a contest of sorts then PM me and we can figure out a way to do it.

Here's my character!

Aelin

Raith paused as he and his companion topped the crest of the hill. They had been walking for several hours and even he, a ranger used to traveling for long periods without rest, was beginning to feel the strain of walking so far over the treacherous mountain terrain. Navigating through quiet woods in the dark was one thing; crossing the Nareth Mountains by night was another story. He needed all of his skills to keep them well away from the creatures that came out into these passes at night.
“Aelin,” he called out to the woman who had failed to notice his pause and continued down the stony path “don’t you think it’s time we took a break?” The woman whirled around suddenly, her silver hair catching the moonlight and gleaming like polished Mithral. She glared up at where he stood. Unmoved by her apparent anger.

“Do you really believe we have time to waste resting. Every moment we wait out quarry moves farther away from us. My sister is in the hands of these rogues. We have to rescue her!” Raith was almost convinced to begin moving again at the sight of tears glimmering in her obsidian colored eyes. She blinked rapidly to keep the tears from falling onto her pale skin. Raith studied her. Perhaps she was not feeling the same exhaustion that a human would face. Quickly he realized how foolish that was. His sharp eyes soon found the creases that marked her forehead from concentrating for so long on her tracking spell and there were bags under her eyes from lack of sleep. Those same eyes, which had drawn him in so many weeks ago at a tavern bar half a continent away, were now dull and lifeless with sorrow instead of the lively, warm orbs that had once been there.

“We will do her no good if we are exhausted when we catch up to them. Even if you do not need the rest, I do. The sun will be rising soon, at any rate, not ideal traveling conditions for a moon elf like you.“ He walked down the hill and stood near her as she contemplated his words. “I know you are desperate to reach her. I would act the same way if I was in your place, but you can not risk your own life this way.” At those words Aelin leaned against him, her petite body shuddering as he wrapped his arms around her. She was not quite as tall as him, about five feet and eight or so inches, so she fit quite comfortably under his chin. He ran his hands up and down her back, brushing against the soft, dark green traveler’s cloak she wore. Aelin’s normally composed voice shook as she sobbed against him.

“I let her down! I should never have left her alone in town.”
“There are always things that you will believe you should have done. You can’t change what happened now. We will get her back. Now we need to sleep and gain strength so we can continue the chase tonight.” Aelin nodded and moved with him off to the side of the path to set up camp. She removed her cloak, revealing the simple leather armor she wore under it and then set about building a fire to cook a small supper, or breakfast, depending on your perspective, for them both. They soon wrapped themselves in blankets and hid from the rising sun under a rocky outcropping to catch a few hours of sleep before moving on.

 

[BookReader]

If you do not mind my saying so, it is a beautiful piece of work!

 

[shirono]

I don't mind at all. Thanks for the compliment, afew of my friends found it too 'wordy', but then again it is supposed to be a description and what good is a description if you don't use plenty of descriptive words. Anyway, anyone else gonna post?

 

[BookReader]

Sometimes, simplicity is a key to success. But I guess what you say can be also right.
Anyway, I am NOT going to post a description. My character will remain in my secret files until it is ready to be revealed...

 

[shirono]

That's ok, not need to reveal him/her/it before they are ready
Anyone else wanna give it a shot....

 

[sunstruckdream]

I would, but I don't exactly give character descriptions the way you do. Instead of taking a long moment to tell about hair, eyes, build and all (not that that's a bad way to go), I prefer to intersperse the details into the story throughout the prologue/first chapter. For example, if someone pushes their hair out of their face, I'll take that moment to describe the lock as orange and curly. I wait to describe height until a character is facing off with someone else and has someone to compare it to. You might not know the MC has glasses until he or she has to push them up on their nose since their nervous perspiration is making them slip. That way I don't feel like I stop or slow down the story, but I get it all in pretty close to the beginning. Again, I don't think it's bad to do it the way you did it. Personally, I have a bad habit of halting the action and over-slamming readers with detail, so the way I described is the way I try to evade it. I think it works pretty well, and contributes to the flow of my stories.

So unless you want a whole two or three chapters, I'm not sure how to contribute to this thread!

 

[shirono]

I would, but I don't exactly give character descriptions the way you do. Instead of taking a long moment to tell about hair, eyes, build and all (not that that's a bad way to go), I prefer to intersperse the details into the story throughout the prologue/first chapter. For example, if someone pushes their hair out of their face, I'll take that moment to describe the lock as orange and curly. I wait to describe height until a character is facing off with someone else and has someone to compare it to. You might not know the MC has glasses until he or she has to push them up on their nose since their nervous perspiration is making them slip. That way I don't feel like I stop or slow down the story, but I get it all in pretty close to the beginning. Again, I don't think it's bad to do it the way you did it. Personally, I have a bad habit of halting the action and over-slamming readers with detail, so the way I described is the way I try to evade it. I think it works pretty well, and contributes to the flow of my stories.

So unless you want a whole two or three chapters, I'm not sure how to contribute to this thread!

Yeah I actually have a tendency to do the same thing, but like I said this was a special piece written to the specifications of a contest. So you do what you have to . Anyway, I'm sure your descriptions are great, personally I prefer to stretch the description out as well. If you put it's all squished together it ruins the flow and makes it seem like the author just had to stop and write a big long description out in the middle. What would be really bad if they just started listing attributes or something, I've had a few friends that did that in fanfiction and other stories they wrote. A lot of times I just had to take the list and write something similar to my post so they could plug it into the story and not have it look so....awkward.

 

[sunstruckdream]

Yeah I actually have a tendency to do the same thing, but like I said this was a special piece written to the specifications of a contest. So you do what you have to . Anyway, I'm sure your descriptions are great, personally I prefer to stretch the description out as well. If you put it's all squished together it ruins the flow and makes it seem like the author just had to stop and write a big long description out in the middle. What would be really bad if they just started listing attributes or something, I've had a few friends that did that in fanfiction and other stories they wrote. A lot of times I just had to take the list and write something similar to my post so they could plug it into the story and not have it look so....awkward.

Yeah, I've always felt it's awkward when people do that. I mean, detail is great, but once it starts obstructing the plot, the reader's going to lose interest...