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lampwicke

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8-6-02
There will always be those times,
when walking with your god:
that He impresses conviction upon your heart.
When we accept Him into our heart,
He is the only one who knows our sincerity.

If that sincerity isn't there,
you are not saved.
Many have asked me,"how do I know I'm saved"?
If you are sincere in your salvation,
your heart will convict you of your need for change?

Why?, You are a new creature in Christ.
As such, you must change.
Then again, you have a free will,
just the same as when you accepted Christ.

Does it suprise you,that God expects this?
Didn't you know this is a requirement of salvation?
It is a common thing, that once we accept Jesus
into our hearts, we think that's all there is.
You may go your merry way,thinking, now life
will be great,and you are"there" my friend?

After a while, the glow may wear off,
and if the committment was shallow,
and the fire dims within; you wonder
what you don't have,that bothers you?

The old song,"Is this all there is",hits home?
I see so many of those who think they are saved,
but; who choose to continue doing nothing about their
salvation.

God doesn't forget about His committment to you.
He starts the conviction of your heart,
and you "will" respond, if you really are saved that is?
He then brings the house cleaner on scene?
He is the Holy Spirit,it is His job to remove all the
selfishness the world has taught you up until this time.

For some of us,it takes months,
maybe years to get to this point in our walk with Him.
The Holy Spirit is gentle,almost subtle with some of us.
Many of us are slow convictors.
It takes this time for God to work in our lives,
for our committments have been shallow?

However; for some,the heat is applied almost immediatly.
God knows what we can handle in our walk,even in the beginning.
For some of us, sin cannot be allowed
to live in the same vessel with our Jesus.
He will never leave us, but we "will " change.

Once we finally learn,that God really is more important
than the world we live in,our family,those we love,
then we have God in His proper place in our lives.

Then our God can teach us.
Getting past our own selfishness is our job.
With His help,we do this.
To many this is a revelation," Who" me selfish?
While you were in this world,before salvation,
who do you think had possession of you?
who conditioned you all those years?

Selfishness is the cause of all sin,
tell me of any sin which is not composed of
I, me, they, "want",in any part of ones soul?
How do I know this?
I am a sinner,and always will be.



"I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
Jeremiah 31:3

"Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come,
he will guide you into all truth: for he shall
not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear,
that shall he speak: and he will shew you things
to come." John 16:13

"The Lord is my shepherd: I shall not want."
Psalms 23:1

In His love, lampwicke xxx
 

CrystalA_grl

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Reading that makes me about to cry because there are times I've been away from God. I mean really away from him, partying and not bothering with church at all. I was in the church when I was younger and left it when I was 18 for a few years. I came to the Deeper Fellowship section because thats what I probably need most right now.

I hope it is alright to say this here - I have seen abuse in the church. I have seen things happen that would make me not want to beleive in God. But I have realised that these were things people did against God and it wasn't Gods fault. I blamed him, but why should I blame him? I looked at peoples actions and thought, "if thats what it really means to be a Christian I don't want any part of it."

I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to dump these kind of things here. Forgive me. I'm new, and I should probably read more of the sections on this forum first.
 
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lampwicke

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dear CrystalA,
I understand where you are my friend. for many years I too attended many churches,I too was wounded many times in many of those bodies of believers.I found it hard to understand,until God showed me that ones love of God wasn't in any building,but in ones heart.Pursuing a loving and deep personal relationship with Him is necessary for you and any christian to do,if they want to learn to love their God the way they want to be loved. no church can truely provide this ,for many members are focused on their own walks with their God? Love is something many speak of but few practice in 24/7?There will be a few. say out of a congregation of 100 in any church, perhaps 2or3% will know and practice Gods love.It is sad,but true,for this is something I have seen t be true. It is not that many aren't loving their God,for many do.but they like us all are battling our own selfishness as we walk with our God in order to remove it from us to be able to love like Jesus does? I know your tears,as they are my own.I will tell you a truth, for you and only you, I do not go to any church either, I have found that I get along very well without it, now this will ruffle some feathers with someone, but ones relationship with their God can be had without any church building.For one thing,
the kingdom of God is within your heart.we go to a church to worship ones God in spirit and in truth.this is the one reason, this you can have in your home in a bedroom. then for fellowship with the other believers,which I think you have gone through enough of that,can be obtained from online christian communities. I happen to believe that God has taken His Spirit out of His used to be church.and has found and is preparing another option for His true believers in these times? It is quite allright to speak your heart, for it is the truth,and no one can find fault with it! It is the "relationship" remember this, coupled with the bible,and asking the Holy Spirit to teach you the word of God which will strengthen you spiritually with the God I feel you love. You are right,it is the people working in their own selfishness in any church,and it will get worse before it gets better.Jesus is coming soon,and you need to find comfort within your spirit from your God,for I sense you are weary of the life you are living for it is not for your God,but only you know how deep your need is? Pursue your God with all your heart,my friend you know what your heart has been telling you. In His love, lampwicke xxx
 
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CrystalA_grl

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Thank You Lampwicke. I know God isn't in the building. He is everywhere. that is why I can feel His presence in the woods. I think God dwells in nature. Let me explain - I don't think God is nature, but that He expresses Himself by nature. the Bible talks about this in a lot of places.

You think there are only 2 or 3 percent who really have the love of God? Wow! Thats scary! It might be true though. How people act out of Church can be a lot diferent from how they act in Church. I let myself take my eyes off God and looked at what people were doing. I think a lot of people get disgusted with God because of human behavior. Its hard to follow god when we do that, but it happens.
 
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CrystalA_grl

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Thank You Lampwicke. I know God isn't in the building. He is everywhere. that is why I can feel His presence in the woods. I think God dwells in nature. Let me explain - I don't think God is nature, but that He expresses Himself by nature. the Bible talks about this in a lot of places.

You think there are only 2 or 3 percent who really have the love of God? Wow! Thats scary! It might be true though. How people act out of Church can be a lot diferent from how they act in Church. I let myself take my eyes off God and looked at what people were doing. I think a lot of people get disgusted with God because of human behavior. Its hard to follow God when we do that, but it happens.
 
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lampwicke

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dear CrystalA,
My friend,I surmised that you had had a relationship with your God, however, sometimes those of us when we are saved, do not do our part in our own salvation,therefore, in time,we take our eyes off of Him, and distance ourselves from our first love, Him. Over thirty years of attending churches,and that was when God was in His Holy Spirit church,look at churches today? You may not believe this, but now is the end-times,a time before Jesus's soon return, and the first judgement will be upon the church when He returns. The bible says when He returns the church will at that time be filled with "unbelieving believers",many will fill the church having the form,but not the power of true believers. Already many have been in great confusion,seeking where they can go to worship their God? God has been for sometime been establishing Home study,worship services in private homes, much like in the first century worship homes. where only true believers will be attending to the worship in spirit and truth of their God, for our God has taken His Holy Spirit from what used to be His church.See in Revelation,the church of Laodicea?of the seven churches.these churches are representative of individual people in their passon for their God, as well as the actual churches the types of churches today. You have no control over what people do in church my dear,you only can do for you when real love lacks in any body of believers.The truth of God no longer resides in many churches.you see the blatant sin going on in many churches in the news media, and still they do nothing to remedy that sin, so in essence they have chosen the sin over their God.food for thought isn't it?It is not as though your God won't take you back, He waits only for you to return to Him.You can find some comfort online at the site I write my prose on, at
<www.christianity. com>....see the spiritual life forum,under my name,you might get a more personal approach to your much needed questions there. Get back to your God Crystal,the time is now for you,and don't look back. In His love, lampwicke xxx
 
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CrystalA_grl

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Lampwicke, I did know God when I was younger, at least I guess I did. Maybe I was just a hypocrite. I was in the Church every week, but when I was a teenager I began drinking and smoking herb. My parents smoked the herb also. They were Christians, but they showed me verses in the Bible used to support the use of marijuana. I went to parties and one time when I was very drunk some guys at the party took advantage. I became self abusive for awhile. Now mind you, all this time I was the good little church girl. Something was missing. I beleived in God and I assumed I was saved because I beleived Jesus Christ died for my sins.

I was about 19 or 20 when I began to chill out with the herb. I tried to curb my drinking so that it wasn't 5 or 6 days a week. I would drink only on weekends, usually - but sometimes once in the week if my friends had a special party. At this time I was in college. I think I had really given up on God when my one true love left me. I thought I was always nice to him and I was faithful to him, but he cheated on me behind my back! We broke up and I ended up trying dating diferent guys, but nothing was working out. I hated the ones who yelled at me or tried to control what I'd do.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ramble on. I don't know how much of a Christian I really ever was. I don't like it for people to try and judge my salvation either. That has happened in the past. I know I need to get really close to God now though.
 
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lampwicke

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dear CrystalA.
You have traveled a path which has now brought you to this point in your life.You have saught that one person who would love you for who you are, not for who they want you to be for them. We all search our lifetime for that one,who will love us in this manner,but few find Him,for He is your God.You didn't know this,and it has been Him leading you on that path you have been traveling on,for it is only in His good timing would you appreciate His love.It is that time now,as He allows me to speak to you of Him waiting for you now. Your choices have always been your "choices", only now when you have exhausted almost all of your options in living your life,when your heart is wanting His love,and nothing will satisfy you , will you seek it with all your heart.It is Him speaking to you little girl,for when your God calls you, nothing can keep you from Him. Come to Him, let Him comfort you in your hardest time,your time now.He can love you,He can show you that love which you have been seeking for such a long time.Come back to Him, let Him guide you in a life of loving yourself,and learn how to love others in His love. He's waiting ,and has been for a long time just for you. Re-establish your deeply loving and close personal relationship with Him,this is where you have missed Him,you left Him, He didn't leave you, so it is only a matter of a "choice" to come back.He loves you just the way you are! In His love, lampwicke xxx
 
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CrystalA_grl

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:cry: I wish I had! I wish I could! I know deep down in my heart thats what I need, but its not me:(

I have always been drawn back, and pains I would rather not even mention have tormented me. I know God is the one who loves me, and is always there no matter how much I've done, but there are those times my heart has longed for the physical touch too.

I logged off embarassed, but what the hec? I already wrote what I wrote. Sometimes I have just felt a failure and when I felt that way I turned to other sources of comfort which were really no comfort at all.
 
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CrystalA_grl

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I've heard all that before. I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound disrespectful. I guess it is just a personal issue between me and God. I have to overcome my past hurts and lack of trust. I don't trust any people completely. I stay in my own comfort zone in personal relationships. People can only get so close.

One time in my life I thought guys just wanted me because I was blonde. I dyed my hair dark. I dyed it auburn red. I put purple in it. All those changes didn't do anything. I think I just blamed God a lot for how people treated me. I know thats not fair to God and I tell Him that.
 
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lampwicke

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dear ChrystalA,
I know your anger,I was raised with it,many years ago.You don't have to tell me anything, for you see, I am not the one you are angry at. And the guy you are angry at is quite used to it? Actually if He had a middle name ,it would be "scapegoat for all the world" . So you tell me nothing new.If you are so adamant on being angry,and don't trust anyone, simply don't come back here and continue our conversations?
Isn't that the most simple "choice" you can make????????I have long since learned His point of view? He has all eternity to wait for you? You only have maybe ,what,60 or 70years? And when the time after that comes,then you get to meet Him, no "choice"?
You may enjoy your anger and your hurt, unlike others who have given you pleas to remain in contact with them, I do not.They may have wanted to help you,but; you have to want help before you show me anything. good luck, in all you do, In His love, lampwicke xxx
 
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CrystalA_grl

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Lampwicke, I don't understand your reply. I never said I was angry at you. The guy I was angry at I have not been with in over 6 years! The guys who took advantage of me were before that. I don't think I ever completely got over the guy who cheated on me seven years ago.

I Do not enjoy my anger or hurt. Who has given me please to remain in contact? Have you seen that on this forum somewhere?

Actually I'm in a pretty good mood most of the time and stay busy with my art. I will be doing more in the summer also. I might start looking for a small fellowship. I have also thought i might look for a big fellowship where people don't pry into your private life as much. Which do you think is best?

I am sorry if I sounded angry at you. I am not. God bless you.
 
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CrystalA_grl

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I received your PM and responded.

I had meant a smaller Church, not a website :) I'm sorry if that wasn't clear in my post, but I guess I just said "fellowship" instead of "Church."

I don't think the internet is completely devoid of feelings. I have seen what appears to be genuine Christian love here, and other "feelings" like anger (not on this topic - on other topics.) I know its only words and not actions though, because its the internet.
 
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