Challenging day today...

[Forge3]

Day 29 of being sober and I have a sponsor. It is a bit late to call Him. Today my frustration over the use of alcohol in the past hit me hard. It is not just the remember when of using it is also bridges that I have burned because of alcohol abuse. I am endeavoring to build on my social circle and stay centered in God. Today I let an ex-client have lots of leeway with me as I am very open and realized he was just being controlling and manipulative at my expense. I wasn't really aware at the time what was happening and it was humiliating and I was both angry with him for doing it and for me being so open and not putting boundaries when boundaries were the best move. So frustration and anger. Not that I would grab the bottle or slip as a result. Though I have used such things to hit the booze before. However that is adding insult to injury as I know.


Please respond

 

[madison1101]

I have learned that working all 12 Steps of AA helped me deal with the burnt bridges of the past. It also helped me clean up the wreckage I left behind.

Hang in there.

 

[Forge3]

Yeah thanks. I spoke with my sponsor just now. It was helpful. I have some more mental adjustments to make so to speak about how I view the past and live today.

 

[madison1101]

Yeah thanks. I spoke with my sponsor just now. It was helpful. I have some more mental adjustments to make so to speak about how I view the past and live today.

Steps Four and Five will help you forgive yourself, and move on. Read How It Works in the Big Book, as well as in the AA 12 and 12.

We cannot make the mental and spiritual adjustments in recovery without working ALL 12 Steps of AA. If you read the Promises of AA, they are about emotional/mental adjustments that are achieved by working the first NINE Steps of AA.

God bless.

Trish

 

[Autumnleaf]

Pray for your enemies. Pray for good things for them, not runaway buses.

 

[RobCrandall]

Forge,, Things do get easier as your sober time increases. I remember my 30 days, and now I am coming up on 10 years sober without so much as one slip up. I was an alcoholic for 8 years straight, so if I can do it, anyone can.
Your mind will take a little time to clear up concerning your interactions with people, especially if you were drunk a lot with people like I was. It is a readjustment, and a re-learning, but you will re-learn how to behave.
The main thing is to be patient. It's hard at the beginning, but it really does get much easier, and your anxiety will go down too. You are just starting. When sober starts to become the norm, you will see what I mean. Things will level out. Patience is the key. It doesn't come all at once. You'll make it. Just remember that any sober discomfort is much better than a hangover and bad memories of what you did and said drunk. A lot better. Hang in there..praying for you