Challenge for this week

[memoriesbymichelle]

So it's not enough to have my younger son trying to make me feel bad for his life and dealing with his drama today, no, no, no, I still have to deal with my step daughter who decided that SHE needed to try to help my younger son out. She needs to take care of her own darn self and stay out of it

 

[bobross]

Another great "coffee date" with my difficult friend. It really went well and I feel like I'm making some headway. He actually said thanks for taking the time for me, and you could see the sincerity in his eyes. Makes me feel so good to be doing something positive like this.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Another great "coffee date" with my difficult friend. It really went well and I feel like I'm making some headway. He actually said thanks for taking the time for me, and you could see the sincerity in his eyes. Makes me feel so good to be doing something positive like this.

That's SO cool! Things are a little better with me and my younger son. Since he now has a job and needs me to fix his car til he gets money to pay for it. Not to mention his ticket from the accident.

Haven't heard from my step daughter but I don't suspect I will for awhile. I ask her the hard questions and she doesn't like it too much.

She told me on the phone that she doesn't have any money but she doesn't need any money. What????Who doesn't need money? She is living off other people and it makes me angry. It's not my business and on the one hand I am grateful she has a place to stay but it's not right to live off others forever! When I tell her she needs to get a job, she says "I work! I don't have a regular job, but I help so and so, he's in a wheelchair and I do his shopping and banking and he gives me money." Well that money is going in her gas tank to cart him and who ever else around. She shouldn't even be driving because she got a DUI in CA and has not taken care of it so if she gets pulled over she will probably go to jail. But of course she would just play the victim and it would be someone else's fault, maybe even the cop's fault, not hers.

 

[dayhiker]

I've heard of people that live off others that way, but its been ages sense I ran into someone of that type.

 

[Eagle Of Oz]

Just wanted to say I think this challenge is great, and I'm loving reading what you are all doing.

 

[bobross]

That's SO cool! Things are a little better with me and my younger son. Since he now has a job and needs me to fix his car til he gets money to pay for it. Not to mention his ticket from the accident.

Haven't heard from my step daughter but I don't suspect I will for awhile. I ask her the hard questions and she doesn't like it too much.

She told me on the phone that she doesn't have any money but she doesn't need any money. What????Who doesn't need money? She is living off other people and it makes me angry. It's not my business and on the one hand I am grateful she has a place to stay but it's not right to live off others forever! When I tell her she needs to get a job, she says "I work! I don't have a regular job, but I help so and so, he's in a wheelchair and I do his shopping and banking and he gives me money." Well that money is going in her gas tank to cart him and who ever else around. She shouldn't even be driving because she got a DUI in CA and has not taken care of it so if she gets pulled over she will probably go to jail. But of course she would just play the victim and it would be someone else's fault, maybe even the cop's fault, not hers.

She sounds like a handful. I do not envy you in this situation, but it really does sound like you make an effort to be civil with her even though you are putting up with so much drama. You should be proud of the way you're handling it! Please keep on venting if you need to. We are here for you

 

[blackribbon]

I have taken an active interest in my online friend and she has actually asked me about some of her other diagnoses. It stinks that the healthcare people are so poor at helping people understand what is going on in their bodies in "real" language. I can only talk about generalities but I can translate. As I pray for her and have forced myself to take an active interest in her life, I am starting to actually like her and not find her weakness quite so annoying. God does change our hearts when he isn't going to change the situation.

 

[bobross]

That is great to hear bobross! Hey BTW are you an artist? I ask because of your username. Bob Ross was an awesome artist that used to have a TV show and he would paint fabulous paintings in 30 minutes.

Yes my name is inspired by none other than Mr. Bob Ross. I loved watching his show when it was on the air. He was great. I am indeed an artist although not a great one

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Yes my name is inspired by none other than Mr. Bob Ross. I loved watching his show when it was on the air. He was great. I am indeed an artist although not a great one

Do you paint beautiful pictures and then put a big ol tree in the front? LOL. My husband was an artist also and we both loved to watch Bob Ross. Such a gentle spirit he had. There was some other guy that used to have a show also, I can't recall his name. He had a heavy accent like German or something and he kind of scream talked when he was explaining. It was hilarious to watch but he was also an excellent artist.

 

[bobross]

Do you paint beautiful pictures and then put a big ol tree in the front? LOL. My husband was an artist also and we both loved to watch Bob Ross. Such a gentle spirit he had. There was some other guy that used to have a show also, I can't recall his name. He had a heavy accent like German or something and he kind of scream talked when he was explaining. It was hilarious to watch but he was also an excellent artist.

Happy little trees, you mean? I loved Bob Ross and once in a while I'm lucky enough to find an old show of his on PBS. They are few and far between though. I do remember that other painter you are talking about. I love him too! I'm sure his name will come to me, but right now I can't remember it for the life of me. Cool that you're husband was an artist. He must have been an awesome guy.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

The latest saga in my step daughters life. Apparently from her FB post she may no longer have a cell phone. Her ex husband was paying for it because he got it for her when they were talking about getting back together when she went back. So the other day she posts on her status on FB (why there IDK) to her ex. " You said you would never turn my phone off so I would be able to get ahold of my family....blah blah blah, and I was never late on the bills and it's not my fault you lost the house etc etc etc.
I did not comment. I haven't heard from her either. Here is another example that she thinks that other people should take care of her. Why should he have to pay for her phone? She should get a job and pay her own way.

And on my other challenging relationship, my son texted me from school yesterday that he was sorry if he fails math because he was forced to take a quiz on stuff he missed when he was absent, so now he says he gives up. Then the second text said how much did the college credit cost because he will pay for it because he doesn't think he will get it now. I did not answer either text because I told him before I am not having drama texting arguments. If he wants to talk about it we need to do it face to face. I worked last night and so did he, but I didn't get home until almost midnight and he was asleep. This morning he got himself up and left without saying anything to me.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Happy little trees, you mean? I loved Bob Ross and once in a while I'm lucky enough to find an old show of his on PBS. They are few and far between though. I do remember that other painter you are talking about. I love him too! I'm sure his name will come to me, but right now I can't remember it for the life of me. Cool that you're husband was an artist. He must have been an awesome guy.

YES! and we don't make mistakes they are happy little accidents where ever you want here and there.

Oh and the other guys name came to me it's William Alexander

William Bill Alexander happy painter - YouTube

 

[blackribbon]

Kudos to you Michelle on showing great self-control. I hope that you get an easier hand one of these days.

I am still talking as need be to my online "friend". She really doesn't take her health issues seriously enough but that isn't mine place to judge. I believe I am just here to offer her some encouragement and help her when she asks for help. I sometime need to have great self-restraint when her friends post very poor advice. Again, not my place to judge and I am asking for God's guidance when to post. Very guiltily, I will admit I'd rather just remove her as a "friend" but I don't feel that God is giving me permission to do that...at least at this moment.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

blackribbon, I know exactly how you feel. How could I ever divorce myself from my family members? I could not!
My heart breaks for My step daughter but at the same time, she does not take advice, and continues to want to be the victim and she is probably stronger than any of us.

So my son came home last night and said "Hi mom" like nothing ever happened, and I talked to him this morning about his field trip (he leaves tonight to go to Magic Mountain) and he did not mention his recent texts. We shall see when he gets back and I remind him about his make up work, what he will say then, but I will also be reminding him that we will talk about this only face to face, not thru dramatic text messages meant to incite.

 

[bobross]

William Alexander! That's it, good job It was bugging me that I couldn't remember his name. I am praying for you and your struggles, Michelle. It sounds like you have a lot of unnecessary stressors in your life and I feel like if you just stick to what you're doing the Lord will bless you greatly.

And blackribbon, great job sticking by your friend and encouraging her. Even if it feels like she's not listening to your advice, I'm sure it is a blessing for her to have you to lean on. Keep it up!

Things are going great with my "project". Dale hasn't had a drink in a month! And we have been having our weekly bible studies which have been very uplifting. Thanks again for starting this thread, blackribbon. I probably wouldn't have thought of doing this if you hadn't posed this challenge.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

William Alexander! That's it, good job It was bugging me that I couldn't remember his name. I am praying for you and your struggles, Michelle. It sounds like you have a lot of unnecessary stressors in your life and I feel like if you just stick to what you're doing the Lord will bless you greatly.

And blackribbon, great job sticking by your friend and encouraging her. Even if it feels like she's not listening to your advice, I'm sure it is a blessing for her to have you to lean on. Keep it up!

Things are going great with my "project". Dale hasn't had a drink in a month! And we have been having our weekly bible studies which have been very uplifting. Thanks again for starting this thread, blackribbon. I probably wouldn't have thought of doing this if you hadn't posed this challenge.

Haha! I am the same way. If I am looking for something I keep searching until I either find it or have checked everywhere I know to look and if I can't remember something, it will be on my mind until it is resolved.
I also agree this thread was a great idea to inspire us to be better to the hard to love people in our lives.

 

[bobross]

Haha! I am the same way. If I am looking for something I keep searching until I either find it or have checked everywhere I know to look and if I can't remember something, it will be on my mind until it is resolved.
I also agree this thread was a great idea to inspire us to be better to the hard to love people in our lives.

Yes, if it weren't for this thread I may never have realized that I could be such an influence in someone's life. It was a difficult commitment, but the benefits were almost instantaneous for us both. Now I'm finding Dale a lot easier to be around, too.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

That's wonderful bobross! Most of the time for me, if I can understand WHY someone is the way they are, I can tolerate them much easier.

I have recently wondered and been sad for my step daughter. I wonder if her problems started when her mom left at age 3 (actually she was almost 3). Then her mom coming back in her life and them bouncing back and forth from her house to our house I think she just wasn't connected to her mom very much. I still also more than ever now, think she seriously has mental issues that are not being taken care of. It's not normal to be age 36 and live off other people. Then her bf dies and 2 weeks later she is commenting that she still loves her husband. Then a couple of days later she posts a rant on FB about him promising to not turn off her cell phone (I think he DID turn it off but why should he have to pay?). She has no ambition to get a job, get on her own two feet, she just looks for her next meal ticket. It's a sad existence. I also know she's prone to depression and has apparently tried to commit suicide before. I say apparently, because I wasn't there and I've heard conflicting stories.