Celibacy

[amymine712]

I have been celibate for 15 years. God led me to this to teach me the biblical way to love myself and others. It has taken this long to learn and realize that I am worth getting to know...that I am not just a sex toy.

It is not easy to be celibate. I still have needs and wants.
I don't plan on changing my celibacy until I am married. So one of the questions I ask is are there any other celibate mature singles here? And how hard is it for you?

 

[Texas101]

Celibate before marriage, celibate since the divorce, celibate for most of my adult life.

 

[amymine712]

Celibate before marriage, celibate since the divorce, celibate for most of my adult life.

Awesome strength and dedication. God Bless you.

 

[quietpraiyze]

*

 

[Texas101]

Awesome strength and dedication. God Bless you.

It was mostly due to being a single parent with 4 kids. There weren't too many women willing to take on that much baggage.

 

[TonyLee]

I have never had an intimate relationship since I have never married. It would be great to have a companion, and I feel somewhat down sometimes when I see others together, but I have made it this long like this. My last "date" was over 11 years ago. It normally does not bother me, but I certainly would not mind having someone.

The church that I attend is not a large congregation, and except for one who very rarely attends there is no other person there around my age who is not married. I do remember a few years ago a lady a few years older than me and not married started coming, but she stayed there only about 8 or 9 months, and then left a note on the church door that she was not coming back, and did not give a reason why. I am sure that this is odd on my part, but I would feel hesitant to ask anyone out from church anyway since I don't want to put a person on the spot who would see me on a regular basis if she would not be interested. Over 20 years ago I did exactly that, and that lady did not want to go out with me and it made for an awkward moment as she stood there trying to figure out a way to tell me no without wanting to hurt my feelings. I told her that she could just tell me no, and I never want to repeat that again.

Now I in no way fault her since no one should feel forced to go out with someone when there is no interest. I just do not want to put a lady in an uncomfortable position like that again if we are going to see each other regularly in some group. Another thing that I am sure that hurts me is that I will not chase after someone who plays "hard to get". I do not understand that anyway.

 

[dayhiker]

TonyLee ... I like your concern for others.

 

[Purge187]

I've been celibate for 35 years - and I'm 35 years old.

Girls gave me a hard time in middle and high school and I had issues with women and depression for years as a result. Couple that with a very legalistic view on Biblical sexuality ("Sex is the most damaging, impure, ungodly thing, so you'd better get married so you can have it!") and my chastity was pretty much set in stone.

God set me free of the legalism, and He also got me to get off my butt and weight-train religiously, so I feel much better about myself these days. Even so, I'm close to asexuality; maybe there's some truth to the whole "use it or lose it" thing. I don't miss it much.

 

[dayhiker]

Purge ... great testimony of getting free from legalism and getting in shape. Thanks for sharing it.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

I have been celibate for 15 years. God led me to this to teach me the biblical way to love myself and others. It has taken this long to learn and realize that I am worth getting to know...that I am not just a sex toy.

It is not easy to be celibate. I still have needs and wants.
I don't plan on changing my celibacy until I am married. So one of the questions I ask is are there any other celibate mature singles here? And how hard is it for you?

I have been celibate for the last 15 years as a divorced Christian Male , and Im glad God has given me strength and resolve to be that way. I find as ive gotton older, the sexual urges lessen and that I need to do all I can to not get into situations that will stimulate that. Ive had many opportunities to have casual sex over the last 15 years with a few women even telling me flat out that they 'are wild women' ... as much to say that if I want it , its mine for the taking. Another thing that helps is the current huge STD epidemic that is prevalent in America with 1 in 4 people having an STD (or more) ; going the route of casual sex today almost guarantees youre going to catch something and many now are permanent. To me that is a shameful undignified way to exist with an STD as a reminder of how you went wrong. , not to mention how it would harm my relationship with Christ. So, STD's acts as a further deterrant.

What has helped is having a good church family , good friends of the same and opposite sex , concentrating on my relationship with God, having loads of activities, hobbies, and interests , and having satisfaction from living a life pleasing to God. Sexual sin no longer has control over me and I feel very very good about living a genuine Christian life . God allows us to have good feelings about ourselves from being obedient to him and living right.

 

[amymine712]

I have been celibate for the last 15 years as a divorced Christian Male , and Im glad God has given me strength and resolve to be that way. I find as ive gotton older, the sexual urges lessen and that I need to do all I can to not get into situations that will stimulate that. Ive had many opportunities to have casual sex over the last 15 years with a few women even telling me flat out that they 'are wild women' ... as much to say that if I want it , its mine for the taking. Another thing that helps is the current huge STD epidemic that is prevalent in America with 1 in 4 people having an STD (or more) ; going the route of casual sex today almost guarantees youre going to catch something and many now are permanent. To me that is a shameful undignified way to exist with an STD as a reminder of how you went wrong. , not to mention how it would harm my relationship with Christ. So, STD's acts as a further deterrant.

What has helped is having a good church family , good friends of the same and opposite sex , concentrating on my relationship with God, having loads of activities, hobbies, and interests , and having satisfaction from living a life pleasing to God. Sexual sin no longer has control over me and I feel very very good about living a genuine Christian life . God allows us to have good feelings about ourselves from being obedient to him and living right.

Yes STDs are rampant in today's society. It does no good to have casual sex. It helps to stay close to God and have different interests and hobbies. I pray every day for my purity asking God to keep my mind,body,soul pure for him and my future husband. I do notice a difference in my attitude towards others and myself. God has taught me how to love others biblically and it is amazing how freeing that is.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

Yes STDs are rampant in today's society. It does no good to have casual sex. It helps to stay close to God and have different interests and hobbies. I pray every day for my purity asking God to keep my mind,body,soul pure for him and my future husband. I do notice a difference in my attitude towards others and myself. God has taught me how to love others biblically and it is amazing how freeing that is.

Youll be protected from harm if you always follow God and his loving moral mandates for living. No one is ever sorry they did. So, hang in there and keep living for the King.

 

[amymine712]

Youll be protected from harm if you always follow God and his loving moral mandates for living. No one is ever sorry they did. So, hang in there and keep living for the King.

Thank you. You hang in there too and God Bless.