Celibacy?

[SparkyRed]

I know that now but there are still those occasional times when doubt or old ideas or feelings creep back into my head. From about the time I was 17 to the time I was 35 I felt that had been called to be celibate. The problem is that I really didn't understand what that meant. What happened is that I confused the reasons why someone is celibate. I was always really bad with women, meaning that I am one of those that if I like a woman I can't talk to her, things like that. I thought that I would grow out of that as I got older but I didn't. I took that to mean that I wasn't cut out for relationships and was meant to be celibate. One day it sort of hit me that I had been wrong all along. The whole time I was still attracted to women and still had sexual desire. At first I thought that was just something that I had to deal with or deny. Later I realized that wasn't the way it was supposed to be. I realized that if I was really called to be celibate that I wouldn't have those feelings. I would love being single at all times and I didn't feel that way. I had been fighting it the whole time but didn't think anything of it. When it did hit me I couldn't believe that I hadn't been able to see it all along. I then realized that I had lost all of those years that I could have maybe had a relationship and might have been married by now. I could have met a woman like that during that time but we didn't get together because I had my head turned away. It was probably the biggest mistake of my life thinking that I had been called to celibacy when now I know that I wasn't. I'm just lucky that I didn't make a vow of it or anything. If I had done that then I would be stuck with it now no matter how much I didn't like it. That's why I tell people that are considering making a commitment to celibacy that they must be 110% sure that this is what they want now and forever.

I think that God has the perfect time for everything, which includes when we meet the person we are meant to be with. I think that I have a lot of things to sort out, spiritually, mentally and physically, before I can meet my future husband, if I meet him too early things may not work out, obviously this means he might have some stuff that he is sorting out too. Even if I was completely ready he might not be yet.

You know that God knows everything, he knew that you would spend however long you did thinking about being celibate, so he knew not to send you your future wife at that time, he also knew that she would either be sorting out her 'stuff' or waiting for you to get through yours, so he is more than capable to have her ready for you now, not 10 years ago when you were not 'available' to her. Maybe she was married to the wrong man, and you being otherwise occupied with the celabacy thing meant that you were able to wait for her to be available to you.

 

[cowboysfan1970]

That's possible. Celibacy though is really a different mindset and mentality. I had confused the reasons for why someone wants to be celibate and misunderstood that mindset. Trouble is I didn't realize it until years after the fact.

 

[dayhiker]

Cowboys --- interesting how it takes us so long to learn things sometimes.

 

[cowboysfan1970]

And sometimes you wonder what kept you from learning it a long time ago.

 

[dayhiker]

for sure!

 

[shantystar]

me knows what God wants from me as several answered they didnnt know what God wants from them!

 

[bunnydrop]

You will marry or you wont Its in Gods hands.If he wants you to be married you will.if he dosent you wont.just live your life.stop searching,stop looking an waiting.I would say stay celeibate until marraige an if not forever.Keep focused on God an the rest follows.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

You will marry or you wont Its in Gods hands.If he wants you to be married you will.if he dosent you wont.just live your life.stop searching,stop looking an waiting.I would say stay celeibate until marraige an if not forever.Keep focused on God an the rest follows.

Some of this won't work for a man. They should be the one pursuing so when they do decide they want to marry they should be a bit proactive about it. God doesn't tell us to sit on our hands and just drift through life. There certainly are times when we need to concentrate on other things and we might just be surprised by someone who pops into our life, but there is nothing wrong for praying and seeking a good thing like a spouse. The priorities do need to be God first which is hard at times to apply.

 

[peacemaker19800]

Hey Keep the faith you will find someone. Wo says you will marry someone your age? You may find someone 5 years younger than you...and she may be ready to have babies once you all get married... Your chances are not remote...you're only 38..39? You're still YOUNG . go out there and get what you want have faith and believe...i mean if marriage and children is what you want...It's never tooo late.
Good luck!

 

[Spirit_Star]

People are having kids much later in life now days what with all the fertility help and even in some cases naturally. IMO age will not be a factor if God wants to bless someone with child(ren) and they just happened to not find each other until later in their life. You future spouse could be younger then you. I agree if God had no plans or desire for one to marry then they themselves would likely not have that desire. Same with people having kids if God didn’t want them to have kids then someone likely would not desire to be a parent.

 

[dayhiker]

You will get a job or you won't. Its in Gods hands.If he wants you to get a job you will.if he doesn't you won't. Just live your life.stop searching,stop looking ... This is silly to me. If you want a spouce got find one. That's what I did and she was a blessings ... till it ended. Then I went looking for a lady to hang out with. Found one and now she is my blessing.

dayhiker

You will marry or you wont Its in Gods hands.If he wants you to be married you will.if he dosent you wont.just live your life.stop searching,stop looking an waiting.I would say stay celeibate until marraige an if not forever.Keep focused on God an the rest follows.

 

[Riddik7]

i think if you feal any need to be married then someday you will when the time is right...

if you dont feal the need whatsoever then perhaps you were called to be celibate...

 

[peacemaker19800]

I am waiting on God...If I am to have a man in my life, He will put the man in my life. If He does not want a man in my life, I won't have a man in my life!

I do not think there are "signs" that a person has been called to be Celibate. I just try to live each day to the fullest. How can I honor God today?

Good girl! You have the right attitude..

 

[peacemaker19800]

I am knid of confused...Does celibicy mean "no more sex period" See, b/c I before I was saved (five years ago) I had pre-martial relations. Now, that I am saved I am remaining celibate until marriage. So is it alright to use "celibate" when you 're just using it to indicate how you will remain until marriage?

 

[essenceoflove777]

well its better to not have sex than to because you never know if its a forever thing and eachtime you do have sex ouside marriage it takes a piece of you with it

 

[ido]

I am knid of confused...Does celibicy mean "no more sex period" See, b/c I before I was saved (five years ago) I had pre-martial relations. Now, that I am saved I am remaining celibate until marriage. So is it alright to use "celibate" when you 're just using it to indicate how you will remain until marriage?

I view celibacy as a lifelong choice. In reference to waiting for marriage, I use abstinence or abstaining to describe it.

 

[peacemaker19800]

I view celibacy as a lifelong choice. In reference to waiting for marriage, I use abstinence or abstaining to describe it.

Well put!

 

[dayhiker]

Celebracy is often used of those who don't plan on having sex every and give their life to God. But I've also heard of it being used for a period of abstinence. So kepp using the word celebracy the way you do. Others will figure out why your meaning.

I am knid of confused...Does celibicy mean "no more sex period" See, b/c I before I was saved (five years ago) I had pre-martial relations. Now, that I am saved I am remaining celibate until marriage. So is it alright to use "celibate" when you 're just using it to indicate how you will remain until marriage?

 

[FaithnHope]

I try to have faith that God will give me the desires of my heart. I know that I have a desire to be married. I just can't believe that God would allow me to have this desire without fulfilling it.

 

[dayhiker]

I don't look at this as a negative thing. I'm glad to give part of me to others. I hope that each post I post gives something to someone who needs it on here. When I with a freind I hope giving my freindship to them is meaningful to them. When I'm on a date I hope I can give my date something that helps them in this life. I see this the same way when sex is involved, I'm glad to give to her.

dayhiker

well its better to not have sex than to because you never know if its a forever thing and eachtime you do have sex ouside marriage it takes a piece of you with it