Celibacy question

[TruthSeeker2012]

...Since I can just do whatever I want, then the sky's the limit! ..

I can do whatever I want, YES I CAN, but once I was born again of the Holy Spirit I want to please Jesus and live for Him.

Your comments expose your lack of biblical understanding what exactly happens to a born again Christian.

Anyone who has been truly saved is a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17), has the conviction of the Holy Spirit (John 14:26; 1 Thessalonians 4:8), and now wants to live for Christ.

Someone who continues to willingly and blatantly live in sin and not care about it, has not truly accepted Christ (1 John 2:19; 1 John 3:6; James 1:26).

So that's why you see Paul saying he hated it when he was sinning, but notice, he was still sinning terribly, and according to you Paul was lost, so according to you we had a lost man writing the Bible!

Ash, you are a false teacher of a false gospel based on perfectionism and works and human effort and as a result, you have rejected Jesus to be your complete Saviour and now you trust in yourself to save yourself!

 

[Ash Crimson]

I can do whatever I want, YES I CAN, but once I was born again of the Holy Spirit I want to please Jesus and live for Him.

Your comments expose your lack of biblical understanding what exactly happens to a born again Christian.

Anyone who has been truly saved is a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17), has the conviction of the Holy Spirit (John 14:26; 1 Thessalonians 4:8), and now wants to live for Christ.

Someone who continues to willingly and blatantly live in sin and not care about it, has not truly accepted Christ (1 John 2:19; 1 John 3:6; James 1:26).

So that's why you see Paul saying he hated it when he was sinning, but notice, he was still sinning terribly, and according to you Paul was lost, so according to you we had a lost man writing the Bible!

Ash, you are a false teacher of a false gospel based on perfectionism and works and human effort and as a result, you have rejected Jesus to be your complete Saviour and now you trust in yourself to save yourself!

I will ask you one question:

Does your saving faith come from God or is it of yourself?

 

[TruthSeeker2012]

I will ask you one question:

Does your saving faith come from God or is it of yourself?

So more sidestepping I see. An old strategy used by yourself that won't work on me. You sidestep my questions, and refuse to answer, and then you ask me a question in a desperate attempt to sidestep.

I ask you, where in Bible does it say that having sex between husband and wife is a sin? Well?

 

[TruthSeeker2012]

..For as many as have sinned without law shall also perish without law: and as many as have sinned in the law shall be judged by the law; (For not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified. Rom 2:12,13..

Of dear oh dear, your ignorance and lack of Bible understanding and education is more severe than I thought.

It looks like I need to explain these verses as well to you. MY work is never done

If Romans 2:13 teaches that nobody can be justified and saved unless they are doers of the Law, then all mankind are lost, because there exists not a single person who is a sinless and perfect doer of the law.

Romans 2:13 refers to the redeemed, those who were imputed Jesus' perfection, then, it can be said that it is those who count as "doers of the law" who, on the last day, "will be justified.", through Christ.

It's very important you contextualize verses. The Bible cannot contradict itself in other verses, so Romans 2:13 has to be contextualized around this verse:

Romans 3:28 For we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from the works of the law.

What you are teaching is what the Roman Church teaches, justification through WORKS.

So why did Martin Luther cry out and said, "Justification by faith alone (sola fide) is the article where the church will stand or fall." The Roman Catholic church justification is based on the infused righteousness of Christ, and the reformers disagreed on this as they said the justification is based on the imputed righteousness of Christ.

The Pope and Roman Catholic Church believe that faith is essential for justification, However, by the infusion of the righteousness of Christ, now you must enter into works to be truly justified.

You either follow the Pope and Catholic Church and believe justification is based on the infused righteousness of Christ, OR, you disagree with the Pope and Catholic Church and believe justification is based on the imputed righteousness of Christ.

Which will you choose?

 

[Ash Crimson]

Of dear oh dear, your ignorance and lack of Bible understanding and education is more severe than I thought.

It looks like I need to explain these verses as well to you. MY work is never done

If Romans 2:13 teaches that nobody can be justified and saved unless they are doers of the Law, then all mankind are lost, because there exists not a single person who is a sinless and perfect doer of the law.

Romans 2:13 refers to the redeemed, those who were imputed Jesus' perfection, then, it can be said that it is those who count as "doers of the law" who, on the last day, "will be justified.", through Christ.

It's very important you contextualize verses. The Bible cannot contradict itself in other verses, so Romans 2:13 has to be contextualized around this verse:

Romans 3:28 For we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from the works of the law.

What you are teaching is what the Roman Church teaches, justification through WORKS.

So why did Martin Luther cry out and said, "Justification by faith alone (sola fide) is the article where the church will stand or fall." The Roman Catholic church justification is based on the infused righteousness of Christ, and the reformers disagreed on this as they said the justification is based on the imputed righteousness of Christ.

The Pope and Roman Catholic Church believe that faith is essential for justification, However, by the infusion of the righteousness of Christ, now you must enter into works to be truly justified.

You either follow the Pope and Catholic Church and believe justification is based on the infused righteousness of Christ, OR, you disagree with the Pope and Catholic Church and believe justification is based on the imputed righteousness of Christ.

Which will you choose?

I'm not a lutheran or a protestant so I don't follow his "James is the Epistle of Straw" or "On the Jews and Their Lies" approach. Sorry.

I don't follow the pope either, bud. Sorry again.

Wanna keep guessing?

 

[Avniel]

I'm not a lutheran or a protestant so I don't follow his "James is the Epistle of Straw" or "On the Jews and Their Lies" approach. Sorry.

I don't follow the pope either, bud. Sorry again.

Wanna keep guessing?

Where in the bible does it say that sex in marriage is a sin?

 

[Peripatetic]

The Pope and Roman Catholic Church believe that faith is essential for justification, However, by the infusion of the righteousness of Christ, now you must enter into works to be truly justified.

Works-based justification is a common misconception among Catholics and Protestants (believe it or not), unfortunately. However, I know of no Christian denomination that is on record today with that belief. Here is a small part of the official position of the Catholic and Lutheran churches (from Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of Justification):

We confess together that all persons depend completely on the saving grace of God for their salvation. The freedom they possess in relation to persons and the things of this world is no freedom in relation to salvation, for as sinners they stand under God's judgment and are incapable of turning by themselves to God to seek deliverance, of meriting their justification before God, or of attaining salvation by their own abilities. Justification takes place solely by God's grace.

So while there are differences in the interpretation of the timing and details of justification, none of them imply that works lead to justification. But rather, works are a necessary outcome of true justification (as so strongly pointed out in the book of James).

Sadly... this is still unknown to many who are trying to earn salvation.

 

[proverbswisdom]

I'm even more confused now than before. Does anyone have any stories of how they knew that God did indeed want them to be married and sent them a spouse? Or that He didn't and gave them the grace to remain celibate?

 

[saved24]

I'm even more confused now than before. Does anyone have any stories of how they knew that God did indeed want them to be married and sent them a spouse? Or that He didn't and gave them the grace to remain celibate?

Just swing past the ones that are debating a different issue. I think it will just cause confusion. (no offence intended to these posters) Anyways, I don't have all the answers for you, and know only a little of what you are going through, but I will answer one of your questions in the quote above.

We have to trust the Lord. "Lord if you want me to remain single, or single for a long time, I accept your will." For myself, I would have liked to have been married, and have children, I wanted lots of them. The Lord sometimes works in ways we don't expect. I may not be a mother, but I have felt like a mother at times. The Lord has blessed me because I have worked with children in preschool, day programs, Sunday School and now at a weekly program that we have with church. I consider many of the children I have taught as being my children. I know it's not the same but I believe it was the Lord's will for my life. (Yes, "grace to remain celibate")

I think we must trust the Lord, live our life to the best of our ability and if He brings us a husband, then it's a blessing from Him. I would not want to end up with the wrong man just because I was anxious. Not to say, one should divorce a man because he's the "wrong" man because it becomes God's permissive will and one can still live a Christian life within such a marriage.

On the other hand, sometimes I think with all the broken marriages, and problems with marriage, I am better off not marrying. Even Christian marriages have extreme problems and statistics show that many Christian marriages are ending in divorce too. I think this has a lot to do with society, people have forgotten God's ways when it comes to marriage. (I am not saying there is never a reason to divorce).

I am praying for you. I want you to be happy, and the Lord does too. That does not mean things will always go the way we want or expect. Sometimes we just have to accept what is happening in our lives.

Just keep praying. I am offering advice from my point of view. Try to listen to what God is saying to you, as humans are not always right.

God bless you lots.

 

[proverbswisdom]

I've decided to have sex with a guy so that I don't need marriage. It may not be God's plan for me to get married and I'm tired of wanting that when it really doesn't seem like it's in the cards for me. I think I'm going to live my life by hooking up with this guy for a few weeks at a time, then going celibate for months, then hooking up again. Eventually I may get to the point where I can overcome my sexual desires and just remain single without hooking up with him, which is the goal I'm shooting for.

But this whole thing about wanting to experience sex and being worried that I may never get to is only making my sex drive stronger. If I could have it a few times I may even be able to feel comfortable being single and entirely celibate because it will answer my questions (I have a lot of curiosity about sex) and settle the matter that I am not going to die a virgin or without experiencing a close attachment with a guy. I think this is what's making it so hard to be celibate right now.

 

[saved24]

So sorry you do not want God's perfect will for your life. Praying for you.

 

[znr]

I've decided to have sex with a guy so that I don't need marriage. It may not be God's plan for me to get married and I'm tired of wanting that when it really doesn't seem like it's in the cards for me. I think I'm going to live my life by hooking up with this guy for a few weeks at a time, then going celibate for months, then hooking up again. Eventually I may get to the point where I can overcome my sexual desires and just remain single without hooking up with him, which is the goal I'm shooting for.

But this whole thing about wanting to experience sex and being worried that I may never get to is only making my sex drive stronger. If I could have it a few times I may even be able to feel comfortable being single and entirely celibate because it will answer my questions (I have a lot of curiosity about sex) and settle the matter that I am not going to die a virgin or without experiencing a close attachment with a guy. I think this is what's making it so hard to be celibate right now.

You're not going to overcome sexual desires by having sex. If you like the sex you will want way more than occasional. If you remain a virgin then you only have that to regret but if you have sex with this guy you might end up regretting you had sex and regret that you're no longer a virgin.

 

[paul1149]

Hi, I am a 27 yr old woman who has been praying for my future husband since I was 13 (not that I would meet him at 13, but that God would prepare him and me for marriage and bring us together as adults).

I have pursued my relationship with Christ and done everything I can to get closer to Him and I have an amazing relationship with God, despite the fact that my life has been very difficult (health issues, losing my father, etc.)

I am a prayer warrior and have prayed for close friends to find spouses (among many other prayer requests) and God has answered the prayers, at times down to the exact details! But nothing has happened for myself so far and I'm confused as to what is going on.

I've decided to have sex with a guy so that I don't need marriage. It may not be God's plan for me to get married and I'm tired of wanting that when it really doesn't seem like it's in the cards for me. I think I'm going to live my life by hooking up with this guy for a few weeks at a time, then going celibate for months, then hooking up again. Eventually I may get to the point where I can overcome my sexual desires and just remain single without hooking up with him, which is the goal I'm shooting for.

But this whole thing about wanting to experience sex and being worried that I may never get to is only making my sex drive stronger. If I could have it a few times I may even be able to feel comfortable being single and entirely celibate because it will answer my questions (I have a lot of curiosity about sex) and settle the matter that I am not going to die a virgin or without experiencing a close attachment with a guy. I think this is what's making it so hard to be celibate right now.

It might have that effect, but it usually doesn't. It's usually very hard to climb out of the behavioral pattern. And chances are very good that there are some hidden consequences as well. Paul makes clear that sexual union also involves spiritual union. That's why God tells us to have sex only in the context of covenant relationship. It's the only safe context for such a profound effect on our souls. It's like fire: in the fireplace, it's a wonderful servant that makes our lives warmer. On the living room floor, it's destructive and can take away everything you've worked at building up.

That would be true for anyone, but it's particularly true for someone who is so close to the Lord. You have much to lose. To whom much is given, much is required. David ended up wishing he were dead rather than having brought on the consequences his sin did (2Sam 18.33). Before he sinned, he saw God's glory everywhere (PS 19.1). Afterward, it was his sin that was ever before him (Ps 51).

And of course there are physical risks as well. Disease. Possibly horrible disease. Sterility. And there could be a life-altering pregnancy, and the heartache of raising a child in a less than optimum - and perhaps less than godly - environment.

None of this has to be, but understand that you are playing russian roulette. Our society is so debauched, my guess is that it would be hard to find a partner you could trust to be clean.

And understand that it will alter your relationship with the Lord.

 

[PaladinValer]

I've decided to have sex with a guy so that I don't need marriage.

So you are resorting to willingly commit a sin?! That will completely sever your relationship with Him and not only remove you completely from a state of grace but immediately excommunicate yourself from the church and put you in serious jeopardy of not experiencing heaven. I am certain that isn't what you want.

It may not be God's plan for me to get married and I'm tired of wanting that when it really doesn't seem like it's in the cards for me.

Okay, I'm going to be perfectly frank with you:

You are being absolutely disobediant to God and need to immediately stop and figure out why. Having a "very high sex drive" is not an excuse for you to sin! God does not put people through a life that they cannot handle the trials and tribulations that they will, individually, have to go through. That isn't the kind of god our God is.

Immediately, right now, call your pastor or priest and make an appointment to talk with him or her concerning this. Keep calling until you get an answer - this qualifies for an immergency, and if your pastor or priest is worth his or her salt, he or she will help you. Otherwise, find a church close by and contact the clergy in charge - you need spiritual help right now.

You need to also make an appointment with a qualified, licensed psychologist so you can talk to a professional about this immediately after. You have got to get to the bottom of this before you make a terrible decision that you will not be able to take back.

I think I'm going to live my life by hooking up with this guy for a few weeks at a time, then going celibate for months, then hooking up again.

If you do that, you will lose your virginity and you cannot ever regain it. You can still consecrate your life to celibacy and it is high time you do so. If this is your choice given all the facts, this, in my honestly opinion, proof that God is calling you to celibacy. Unfortunately, you are rejecting that calling in a terrible way. Repent, and embrace the life that God has called you to.

Eventually I may get to the point where I can overcome my sexual desires and just remain single without hooking up with him, which is the goal I'm shooting for.

I'm sorry, but sinning in order to be rid of sin is absurd. What gain is it for the Devil to cast demons out? Same rule applies.

You need to speak to your priest or pastor and talk to a licensed psychologist.

But this whole thing about wanting to experience sex and being worried that I may never get to is only making my sex drive stronger.

Then you need to learn to discipline yourself. I'm 30 and will never have sex. I have fully embraced the fact that God called me to celibacy and I will never turn back. I cannot. I've taken the steps necessary for me to accept this and you need to as well. I'd be happy to help you as someone who has accepted the call to celibacy if you'd like.

If I could have it a few times I may even be able to feel comfortable being single and entirely celibate because it will answer my questions (I have a lot of curiosity about sex) and settle the matter that I am not going to die a virgin or without experiencing a close attachment with a guy. I think this is what's making it so hard to be celibate right now.

As I've said, you'll lose your virginity. You cannot ever get that back. Sadly, you've currently chosing to violate your relationship with God by willingly and understandably commiting a sin. This is extremely serious.

You need to listen to my and the others' advice and follow it to the letter. I pray you will.

 

[Boidae]

So you are resorting to willingly commit a sin?! That will completely sever your relationship with Him and not only remove you completely from a state of grace but immediately excommunicate yourself from the church and put you in serious jeopardy of not experiencing heaven. I am certain that isn't what you want.



Okay, I'm going to be perfectly frank with you:

You are being absolutely disobediant to God and need to immediately stop and figure out why. Having a "very high sex drive" is not an excuse for you to sin! God does not put people through a life that they cannot handle the trials and tribulations that they will, individually, have to go through. That isn't the kind of god our God is.

Immediately, right now, call your pastor or priest and make an appointment to talk with him or her concerning this. Keep calling until you get an answer - this qualifies for an immergency, and if your pastor or priest is worth his or her salt, he or she will help you. Otherwise, find a church close by and contact the clergy in charge - you need spiritual help right now.

You need to also make an appointment with a qualified, licensed psychologist so you can talk to a professional about this immediately after. You have got to get to the bottom of this before you make a terrible decision that you will not be able to take back.



If you do that, you will lose your virginity and you cannot ever regain it. You can still consecrate your life to celibacy and it is high time you do so. If this is your choice given all the facts, this, in my honestly opinion, proof that God is calling you to celibacy. Unfortunately, you are rejecting that calling in a terrible way. Repent, and embrace the life that God has called you to.



I'm sorry, but sinning in order to be rid of sin is absurd. What gain is it for the Devil to cast demons out? Same rule applies.

You need to speak to your priest or pastor and talk to a licensed psychologist.



Then you need to learn to discipline yourself. I'm 30 and will never have sex. I have fully embraced the fact that God called me to celibacy and I will never turn back. I cannot. I've taken the steps necessary for me to accept this and you need to as well. I'd be happy to help you as someone who has accepted the call to celibacy if you'd like.



As I've said, you'll lose your virginity. You cannot ever get that back. Sadly, you've currently chosing to violate your relationship with God by willingly and understandably commiting a sin. This is extremely serious.

You need to listen to my and the others' advice and follow it to the letter. I pray you will.

What is your proof that God has called her to celibacy?

If she has a desire, and it certainly seems as though it's a burning desire, I would call that not being called to a life of celibacy.

I'm not condoning her thoughts on sleeping with anyone outside of being married, but I too had sex before marriage with multiple women so I have no room to judge her, but God was faithful to forgive me and continues to forgive me for I sin each and every day in some way.

Fornication is not the unforgivable sin, so please do not speak as if it is.

Again, I'm not condoning her thoughts, just trying to correct some wrong teaching.

 

[PaladinValer]

What is your proof that God has called her to celibacy?

1. Look at her OP. There are a lot of signs there.
2. The desire to willingly sin to "escape" a life without sex is a good indication as well.

If she has a desire, and it certainly seems as though it's a burning desire, I would call that not being called to a life of celibacy.

It can also be a sign of being called to celibacy.

I'm not condoning her thoughts on sleeping with anyone outside of being married, but I too had sex before marriage with multiple women so I have no room to judge her, but God was faithful to forgive me and continues to forgive me for I sin each and every day in some way.

As far as I know, she hasn't committed a sin yet. Please read the temporal context of my words.

Fornication is not the unforgivable sin, so please do not speak as if it is.

I didn't suggest it. I did suggest, and it is true, that virginity cannot be regained. A celibate life can, but never virginity.

Again, I'm not condoning her thoughts, just trying to correct some wrong teaching.

There was no teaching to correct, and the advice place isn't supposed to be a place to debate.

 

[Boidae]

1. Look at her OP. There are a lot of signs there.
2. The desire to willingly sin to "escape" a life without sex is a good indication as well.



It can also be a sign of being called to celibacy.



As far as I know, she hasn't committed a sin yet. Please read the temporal context of my words.



I didn't suggest it. I did suggest, and it is true, that virginity cannot be regained. A celibate life can, but never virginity.



There was no teaching to correct, and the advice place isn't supposed to be a place to debate.

So then if there is wrong teaching, then we're supposed to leave it go?

Sorry, not going to happen.

As for your post, if I was able to infer the things that I commented on, that means others are able to as well.

You clarified your position and that was good enough for what I was trying to do.

 

[Paxton25]

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

 

[saved24]

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Amen and amen.

 

[PaladinValer]

So then if there is wrong teaching, then we're supposed to leave it go?

Sorry, not going to happen.

Read the sticky "Statement of Purpose for Christian Advice" under the first clause.

To the OP: Please, I and others here are begging you to reconsider your idea. Once again, I offer my own personal help as someone who has struggled with the celibacy question.