catholic vs. christian can it work??

[DinaDavisVargas]

christian boyrfriend vs. catholic girlfriend, can it work?


Well, I am very new to this site and stumbled upon cause I was looking for an answer(s). I am catholic and my boyfriend is a divorced (christian). So, I am really confused. I know he wants to remarry (with me), but I dont feel our marriage wont be validated by God. Second I want to marry in a catholic church and want to know if this is agaisnt any christian rule. Third my boyfriend stated to me that we should not have sexual relations till we were married. Which i am fine with its just now I notice he is not ok with it. I dont know what to do, I dont know if having sex is wise before we are married, especially since he already said not to in the beginning ( I feel he contradicts himself, (even though we both have in the past). we constantly fight about religon. He said I dont know about the Holy Spirt because I am catholic and that I am a sinner cause I dont go to church all the time. I told him than he cant be a that much of a christian if he has been divorced and now knowingly want to have sex. I am tired of fighting and I want to know can christians and catholics marry, attend seperate church, raise kids on different beliefs and be happy, or am I gonna have to convert (because I dont want to). I dont want to lose or not marry him its just sometimes he makes me feel that a christian women would be better for. Please help me because I love him, I hope you didnt find any of my comments or problems resentful. Its just I had to ask another christian these questions who would answer them without and prejudice and honestly, thanks so much

 

[selune]

Well, there's a lot on your plate. Wait on sex until there is a marriage regardless. Catholics and Protestants are both Christians. Yes there are profound differences, but you both believe in God and Jesus His Son. Ok, I think that one of you should convert to the other's denomination and go with only one. Less confusion fewer arguements. Talk with clergy for more info. I'm praying for you.

 

[Sailor's Wife]

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[Zoomer]

I am in agreement with the others that Catholics are Christians. My only suggestion would maybe find a totally different denomination that has similar beliefs to both of yours.

 

[DinaDavisVargas]

Thanks so much, please see my reply under courting couples

 

[Treasure the Questions]

I'm not sure that the fact that you are a Catholic and your boyfriend belongs to a different denomination is the main issue.

It could work if you resepct each other and the other's different beliefs. If you feel that other Christian denominations are inferior to Catholicism this might make it difficult for you to respect your boyfriend's beliefs. Likewise if he makes assumptions about what you believe and doesn't respect your Catholicism.

Perhaps you should try to find a way of exploring what each other believes in a non-judgemental fashion and learn to accept each other's differences.

As to sex, don't let yourself be pressurised into what you're not comfortable with. If your boyfriend tries too hard to persuade you when you've made it obvious that you're not happy about it, this suggests he doesn't respect your wishes and feelings. Having said that, I think it is often harder for men to abstain than it is for women. The fact that he has changed his mind suggests that he started out with good intentions, but is finding it hard to live up to them, which isn't too surprising.

Perhaps you need to get to know each other a lot better before you make any decisions, and perhaps it would be best to avoid situations which will make it harder for your boyfriend to stick to his original intentions until you feel more certain that you get on well enough to make a commitment to each other. What do you have in common? Is it enough to hold you together in the touhg times? You need more than love to make a relationship work, although it does help.

Karin

 

[bliz]

I don't see how the two of you can be talking marriage.

He seems to regard you as an inferior Christian becasue you are Catholic. It seems he has been taught some myths about Catholics and he chooses to believe them. Is that part of why he is attracted to you - because you are "forbidden"? If he thinks that your salvation depends upon regular church attendance, he clearly does not have a very good understanding of salvation. And if he's so righteoous, why is he divorced? And what's with the flip-flop on sex before marriage? Either it's right or it's not... but he seems to want to change the rules as is pleases him.

This guy is in no shape for marriage. He may be someday, but not at this time.

You deserve a man who will see you as an equal partner, one who will share your faith with you and you can help each other to grow.

Besides which, it is doubtful if the Catholic church will permit you to marry in the church because he is divorced. You want to stay a Catholic, and he will not be happy wiht that, will he? Yes, Catholics and Protestants can marry, but they have to respect each other's views and know that both of them have faith in Jesus Christ. I'm not sure he's convinced that you are a Christian. This is no way to start a marriage!

 

[SirKenin]

There is only one measure of a Christian. Man can not get to Heaven by works alone. Are you born again? It's a simple question with a simple answer. Either you accept that Jesus died and was raised from the dead, and you've accepted him into your heart and turned a new leaf, or you haven't. What church you attend is immaterial.

Ask him why he is divorced. If he did not divorce due to the two provisions allowed for in the Bible, one by the Jewish school of thought affirmed by Jesus, one by the apostle Paul, then you would become an adulteress by marrying him, regardless of what any current church doctrine would have you believe.

Sex before marriage is addressed in the Bible as fornication, that being a sin. Encouraging you to sin is not a good Christian thing to do.

If you battle it out on a spiritual level than I would strongly suggest reconsidering your relationship. However, if you can live and let live, and walk together, I would give your relationship a good chance of succeeding if you are compatible on all other levels.

Ask yourself if you truly love him for all that he is, his good, bad and ugly points. His idiosyncracies. His goofiness. Or ask yourself whether you expect him to change to meet your standards. Ask the same thing of him. Are you sure it's not just that you're afraid to be alone, or have a low self-esteem and don't think you can do any better? Has it been a while and this has been the first promising prospect perhaps?

These are all points you are going to have to address, and I don't get the feeling you have satisfactorily addressed them yet.

Forget about dogma, bias and agendas.. Look to the Bible and to the Holy Spirit. Look deep into your own consciousness, or subconsciousness.. The answers to your questions are there. Seek, and ye shall find.

Good luck. If you need references or examples, let me know.