Can't tell if I'm saved

[scaredtodeath]

I've been trying to get saved for over a month now, and I'm wondering if I was saved from the start. Over a month ago, I was drawn to the Bible after a thought told me "These women are going to kill you" while I was sinning, I brushed it off at first but after 3 times I started getting visceral visions of hell while trying to go to sleep. I can't remember how it went after that, but a couple days after reading through the Bible in earnest I came crying to my mother asking if God hated me, and I confessed many sins and asked for forgiveness there, no clue to whom I was asking for forgiveness from though. Although I walked away thoroughly changed, looking back I feel like it was moreso an outpouring of emotions rather than conversion. I had to delete instagram and I can't watch non-sermon youtube videos now since I can't really stomach the fact that many of the people whose content I'm laughing at are probably going to hell, and I eventually deleted my video games after determining they were idols/time wasters. However, I have no clue if I've actually repented, believe Jesus is my Lord etc as at no point did I really declare "I want to stop sinning", I've just kind of stopped in some areas and hate when I do in others and idk why because I can never find the reason for why I hate them, and same goes for believing Jesus as my Lord. I mean, I know I won't be happy without Him and I know I want to not be a rebel against Him now, but I have no clue if this is legitimate or just a sort of Stockholm syndrome after a month of fear (I have had multiple episodes of panic over hell, still do). Am really scared of falling into religion/self-delusion.

 

[JohnC101]

To begin with, congratulations on becoming a Christian!

Isaiah 43: 18-19 "Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert."

Many have come to God looking for His love and compassion, and, similar to you, many have come to Him to escape eternal damnation. God gave you those visions so that you'd come to him to be saved.

Stop worrying about Hell, you've been saved from the fiery pits. Pray to God and ask your pastor for advice.

From what I can tell, you've freed up a lot of your schedule. Try to attend church functions outside of the Sunday service, and talk and make friends with other Christians after church. There is a debate thread in the forum, so researching the Bible and going to those debates could help you with understanding the Word of God and how to proceed.

May God bless you!

 

[Sabertooth]

@scaredtodeath,

1. I hear a lot of anxiety or OCD in the OP. Are you being seen for one of those?
2. Do you have a home church that you regularly attend?

The Church & Mental Illness...

 

[d taylor]

-
​

A person receives God's free gift of Eternal Life (salvation) only when they trust in The Messiah for Eternal Life. If a person does this, then they become born again a child of God.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

She said to Him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”

 

[Gregory Thompson]

Becoming a christian is the result of a spiritual transformation. Since the flesh cannot discern the things of the spirit, it will never know such things.

Part of the spiritual maturity process is replacing fear with love. That's a simplified version of it, but feel free to read about it in the bible, it's in there.

 

[eleos1954]

I've been trying to get saved for over a month now, and I'm wondering if I was saved from the start. Over a month ago, I was drawn to the Bible after a thought told me "These women are going to kill you" while I was sinning, I brushed it off at first but after 3 times I started getting visceral visions of hell while trying to go to sleep. I can't remember how it went after that, but a couple days after reading through the Bible in earnest I came crying to my mother asking if God hated me, and I confessed many sins and asked for forgiveness there, no clue to whom I was asking for forgiveness from though. Although I walked away thoroughly changed, looking back I feel like it was moreso an outpouring of emotions rather than conversion. I had to delete instagram and I can't watch non-sermon youtube videos now since I can't really stomach the fact that many of the people whose content I'm laughing at are probably going to hell, and I eventually deleted my video games after determining they were idols/time wasters. However, I have no clue if I've actually repented, believe Jesus is my Lord etc as at no point did I really declare "I want to stop sinning", I've just kind of stopped in some areas and hate when I do in others and idk why because I can never find the reason for why I hate them, and same goes for believing Jesus as my Lord. I mean, I know I won't be happy without Him and I know I want to not be a rebel against Him now, but I have no clue if this is legitimate or just a sort of Stockholm syndrome after a month of fear (I have had multiple episodes of panic over hell, still do). Am really scared of falling into religion/self-delusion.

Genuine repentance is always accompanied by confession of specific sins. The Holy Spirit does not give us vague feelings of guilt. He convicts us of our definite shortcomings.

“True confession is always of a specific character, and acknowledges particular sins. They may be of such a nature as to be brought before God only; they may be wrongs that should be confessed to individuals who have suffered injury through them; or they may be of a public character, and should then be as publicly confessed. But all confession should be definite and to the point, acknowledging the very sins of which you are guilty.

The purpose of the convicting power of the Holy Spirit is to reveal our need of the saving grace of Christ. Repentance does not make God love us more; rather, it enables us to appreciate His love more. Confession does not earn God’s forgiveness; it instead enables us to receive His forgiveness. God does not love us more when we repent or love us less when we fail to. His love for us is constant. The only variable is our response to the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

The truth is that our hearts are hindered from receiving the abundant blessings that God has for us while our spiritual arteries are clogged with the sludge of sin. Sin deadens us to the Spirit’s prompting and makes it harder for us to respond to Him. Repentance and confession open the clogged channels of our spiritual hearts so that we may receive the overflowing of the Holy Spirit’s presence and power.

Sanctification by the Lord continues throughout our earthly life .... He will finish His work and you can trust in that.



Focus on the Love of God and not your short comings ... you/we will have them ....

is your life trending moreso toward sin ... or away from it?

I've been trying to get saved for over a month now, and I'm wondering if I was saved from the start. Over a month ago, I was drawn to the Bible after a thought told me "These women are going to kill you" while I was sinning, I brushed it off at first but after 3 times I started getting visceral visions of hell while trying to go to sleep. I can't remember how it went after that, but a couple days after reading through the Bible in earnest I came crying to my mother asking if God hated me, and I confessed many sins and asked for forgiveness there, no clue to whom I was asking for forgiveness from though. Although I walked away thoroughly changed, looking back I feel like it was moreso an outpouring of emotions rather than conversion. I had to delete instagram and I can't watch non-sermon youtube videos now since I can't really stomach the fact that many of the people whose content I'm laughing at are probably going to hell, and I eventually deleted my video games after determining they were idols/time wasters. However, I have no clue if I've actually repented, believe Jesus is my Lord etc as at no point did I really declare "I want to stop sinning", I've just kind of stopped in some areas and hate when I do in others and idk why because I can never find the reason for why I hate them, and same goes for believing Jesus as my Lord. I mean, I know I won't be happy without Him and I know I want to not be a rebel against Him now, but I have no clue if this is legitimate or just a sort of Stockholm syndrome after a month of fear (I have had multiple episodes of panic over hell, still do). Am really scared of falling into religion/self-delusion.

It is the Lord who sanctifies us (helps us to change) ... and it is a continuing process throughout our lifetime.

James 1:22 warns us against deceiving ourselves: “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” The self-deception that James has in mind relates to an inappropriate response to truth. God’s Word is meant to change us (see Psalm 119:11 and John 17:17).

We can sit in church for years, listening to sermon after sermon, but if we never allow the Word we hear preached change us, then we are self-deceived. We can read the Bible from cover to cover, but unless we put its commands into practice, we deceive ourselves.

so ... we examine ourselves ... are we trending more toward sin ... or away from it?

We will indeed mess up here and there ... but every day is a new day with the Lord.

Lamentations 3:22-23

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

2 Corinthians 4:16

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.

No reason to worry about hell ... the Lord is faithful and will finish His work .... rest in it!

Philippians 1:6

King James Bible
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Rest my friend ..... rest.

 

[inquiring mind]

I've been trying to get saved for over a month now, and I'm wondering if I was saved from the start. Over a month ago, I was drawn to the Bible after a thought told me "These women are going to kill you" while I was sinning, I brushed it off at first but after 3 times I started getting visceral visions of hell while trying to go to sleep. I can't remember how it went after that, but a couple days after reading through the Bible in earnest I came crying to my mother asking if God hated me, and I confessed many sins and asked for forgiveness there, no clue to whom I was asking for forgiveness from though. Although I walked away thoroughly changed, looking back I feel like it was moreso an outpouring of emotions rather than conversion. I had to delete instagram and I can't watch non-sermon youtube videos now since I can't really stomach the fact that many of the people whose content I'm laughing at are probably going to hell, and I eventually deleted my video games after determining they were idols/time wasters. However, I have no clue if I've actually repented, believe Jesus is my Lord etc as at no point did I really declare "I want to stop sinning", I've just kind of stopped in some areas and hate when I do in others and idk why because I can never find the reason for why I hate them, and same goes for believing Jesus as my Lord. I mean, I know I won't be happy without Him and I know I want to not be a rebel against Him now, but I have no clue if this is legitimate or just a sort of Stockholm syndrome after a month of fear (I have had multiple episodes of panic over hell, still do). Am really scared of falling into religion/self-delusion.

God made man in His image, and because emotions can be very strong, they are most likely a principal way in which God communicates with us. It sounds as though you may be experiencing this now… and remember all are born with a sinful nature, not just you. The important thing is how you/we respond. Fortunately, God doesn’t make His Plan of Salvation as complicated as we often do.

Without going through the whole OT narrative, early man turned away from Him and basically ended up in a mess (makes you wonder where we’re headed today).

God’s Plan of Salvation:

First, God wants us to live in fellowship with Him.

Second, out of love for us and as a means of salvation, God sent His son Jesus Christ to take the punishment we so deserve for turning away from Him (then and now).

Third, Mark 1:15 tells us we must ‘repent and believe the gospel.’ By repenting we are turning away from sin and toward God. This happens by admitting we are sinners and truly feeling remorse for it; putting our trust in the Lord, His Word, and His Plan in every walk of our lives (accepting Jesus as our savior, praying, studying the Bible, fellowship with other Christians, etc.) and giving up on our own attempts to make ourselves right before Him (by following some other plan).

By turning away from sin and toward God (repenting), trusting in His guidance and accepting Jesus as our savior (believing), our sins are taken away and we are given eternal life. However, even as Christians we still sin many times throughout our lives. I think a lot of us often neglect to consider that in doing so there are consequences for those sins here on earth, even if not in Heaven.

If you think your unrest is due to anxiety-related issues, you should see a medical professional.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I've been trying to get saved for over a month now, and I'm wondering if I was saved from the start. Over a month ago, I was drawn to the Bible after a thought told me "These women are going to kill you" while I was sinning, I brushed it off at first but after 3 times I started getting visceral visions of hell while trying to go to sleep. I can't remember how it went after that, but a couple days after reading through the Bible in earnest I came crying to my mother asking if God hated me, and I confessed many sins and asked for forgiveness there, no clue to whom I was asking for forgiveness from though. Although I walked away thoroughly changed, looking back I feel like it was moreso an outpouring of emotions rather than conversion. I had to delete instagram and I can't watch non-sermon youtube videos now since I can't really stomach the fact that many of the people whose content I'm laughing at are probably going to hell, and I eventually deleted my video games after determining they were idols/time wasters. However, I have no clue if I've actually repented, believe Jesus is my Lord etc as at no point did I really declare "I want to stop sinning", I've just kind of stopped in some areas and hate when I do in others and idk why because I can never find the reason for why I hate them, and same goes for believing Jesus as my Lord. I mean, I know I won't be happy without Him and I know I want to not be a rebel against Him now, but I have no clue if this is legitimate or just a sort of Stockholm syndrome after a month of fear (I have had multiple episodes of panic over hell, still do). Am really scared of falling into religion/self-delusion.

Just give yourself time to grow in your faith. You have started the journey time will unravel your direction.

I had a similar experience to you, I had dreams about hell, that got me out to church. I gave my life to Jesus and my direction in life changed. You mentioned Computer games, I played computer games too, and gave it up for around a week, then took it up again, and have continued to play through my Christian life. It can certainly be a time waster, but I have always tried to balance it by praying consistently, I never miss a day of prayer. I only say this in case you lapse back into game usage, for to me it is not a sin, it is just enjoyable to me. But always try to make God the focus of life, not entertainment:

Mat 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

There are areas we should fear God in, and others that we can be more relaxed about. We should definitely avoid sexual sin as you have stated you are doing. But know that God is not against us, He is quite balanced in His view of our lives. He wants us to feel happy for the most part, not crush us.

Neh 8:10 Do not sorrow, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.