I cant do this anymore. All i have wanted was to believe and be saved for a long time now and nothing ever seems to get any better. I dont know how to accept, recieve, trust, have faith or believe with my heart and even if i did i cant make myself believe even though i want to. I have tried for 3 and a half years and the unbelief wont go away. I try to look at the world around me and see the existence of God or think about it and my mind just shuts off. I may as well just give up. If God is out there than he doesnt want anything to do with me. If God wants all people to be saved then why not me why not now. Its not fare im so depressed. I want this to be over. I even have dreams where the world ends and im left behind crying out to God for salvation which never happens. So whats the point.
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cant take it anymore
- Thread starter trippe
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Dude I know exactly where you are at, I'm going through the same thing right now.
Get your eyes off of yourself and what you THINK salvation is, or what should happen when you are given it. If you have believed and accepted Jesus as your Savior, then you are saved. Period.
That's what the Bible says, and that's what I believe, and what you should believe. Now, start trusting in the one that saved you. You are not a piece of dirt. You are a human being and God loves you. You have accepted His Son, and so you are saved.
Live your life. You are going to sin. It's inevitable. Don't rush into it, obviously, but don't beat yourself up. Just be. He will convict you and then you can confess to Him.
Praying for ya.
J
Get your eyes off of yourself and what you THINK salvation is, or what should happen when you are given it. If you have believed and accepted Jesus as your Savior, then you are saved. Period.
That's what the Bible says, and that's what I believe, and what you should believe. Now, start trusting in the one that saved you. You are not a piece of dirt. You are a human being and God loves you. You have accepted His Son, and so you are saved.
Live your life. You are going to sin. It's inevitable. Don't rush into it, obviously, but don't beat yourself up. Just be. He will convict you and then you can confess to Him.
Praying for ya.
J
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I was afraid for a while. My OCD was so bad that I started to feel like I was lost. My biggest fear was not having a relationship with GOD and for a while i felt like i didn't. Then at work one day I walked into the restroom to pray and I just started to cry. I knew GOD was there telling me that he loved me and he would never leave me. I felt this overwhelming feeling of happiness and I walked out that restroom and started to smile. Im telling you to never give up, there are times where we are scared and we doubt but KEEP YOUR FAITH. GOD LOVES YOU AND WANTS YOU BELIEVE ME! KEEP PRAYING AND NEVER GIVE UP!!! PRAYING FOR YOU!!
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I feel like im drowning. How can i have faith if i cant even believe. I dont know if the unbelief is coming from my head or my heart or where. All i know is something has to give. I dont even want to be alive any more. I hate all of this. I didnt use to be like this. Most of the time i just feel like im rejecting everything and that i have already given up. Im so cofused. I need a miracle and soon.
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Jesus Christ was and is your miracle. Let me ask you something...if you were TRULY a non-believer, would you even CARE???
NO! Only true believers worry about their faith. So relax, read the Bible and talk to God. If you have any sin in your life you need to repent and turn to Christ.
NO! Only true believers worry about their faith. So relax, read the Bible and talk to God. If you have any sin in your life you need to repent and turn to Christ.
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everything just seems so unreal to me. Everytime i try to say that i believe in Jesus and what he did and God and the Holy Spirit, even the bible, i get miserable because i dont know if the unbelief is coming from my heart or my head. I dont know if i have ever truly believed. i dont know if i have ever accpeted or recieved Jesus, sure i have said words but i dont know if i have ever truly done anything with my heart. I just dont know anything anymore and i cant stand it. I really dont know anything. I really believe that the truth is that i dont believe and im not saved and all of the other things to the point of telling my wife i know it but i dont know. Im so confused im so tired.
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C
Caty
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Listen if you didn't believe you would not care. You wouldnt be on this board and you definatly wouldnt't be worrying about it. but I know how you feel because ive been there and its the worst ocd ive ever had. but hang in there, it will pass.
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Nobody truly understands. I dont want to be alive anymore. Im so tired. Everyone i have talked to about this for the past 3 years has just pushed it aside and acted like salvation and the unbelief thing isnt the issue. Inside i really believe that im not saved. Yeah i wish i was. Yeah i would like to know what it means and how it feels to truly believe. Once a long time ago i thought that i did but now i dont believe that i do. What i dont understand is if someone wanted to believe as bad as i do why God wouldnt open my eyes. I have asked for him to. Nothing is real to me anymore. It talks about people ever learning and never coming to the knowledge of the truth so that must just be about me. I just want to find a place to die. Life isnt worth living and i just dont know what to do about anything anymore. I never wanted to end up like this. I guess i was not meant to be saved. What i dont understand is that i died when i was a child twice due to a seizure but was let to live. All i have seen my entire life is dissapointment and death. Why was i let to live if i was just going to end up in hell. Why would God just have taken me before the age of accountability. I have tried to believe and i have tried to accept and recieve and have faith and pray and read and go to church and talk to people. I know that none of that saves a person but i have asked to be saved. But you have to have faith and truly believe in Jesus which i dont know that i have ever done. whats the point? why live? Nobody cares and nobody can help me. I think that i have already lost my mind. Im always in knots im always living in terror. I dont want to be like this anymore.
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Tripp before i started worrying about the unpardonable sin and before OCD really hit me hard i was in the very same position tou are in and frankly in the midst of all of this i have been for the most part in your same position ..i do understand
Lets face two facts and im talking to myself as well because i have trouble accepting them .
You cannot honestly force yourself to believe anything ..you cannot it is an impossibility if wishes were horses then beggers would ride .
Faith is a gift it is not something we do ... When we respond in faith we do so because God has given us the faith to respond with ,,
Thats why the idea that if you ask jesus and mean it with all your heart is tricky ..because lets be honest how can you possibly know that you did ,and even if you do that suggests YOU DID something to be saved ,,
I am begining to wonder if a great deal of our struggle is due to the way we have been taught
Lets face two facts and im talking to myself as well because i have trouble accepting them .
You cannot honestly force yourself to believe anything ..you cannot it is an impossibility if wishes were horses then beggers would ride .
Faith is a gift it is not something we do ... When we respond in faith we do so because God has given us the faith to respond with ,,
Thats why the idea that if you ask jesus and mean it with all your heart is tricky ..because lets be honest how can you possibly know that you did ,and even if you do that suggests YOU DID something to be saved ,,
I am begining to wonder if a great deal of our struggle is due to the way we have been taught
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lifeknowingjesus
Christ's
Author Joyce Meyer experienced that once too:
"I once reached a place in my walk with God where I was having trouble believing certain things that I had previously believed. I didn't understand what was wrong with me and as a result I got confused. ...The unbelief seemed to be growing by leaps and bounds. ...I couldn't seem to believe much of anything.
"Two days in a row I heard this phrase coming out of my spirit: 'Mind binding spirits.' The first day I didn't think much about it. However, the second day, as I began a time of intercession, I heard it again for about the fourth or fifth time: 'mind-binding spirits.'
"I knew from all the people to whom I had ministered that mulitudes of believers have trouble with their minds. I thought that the Holy Spirit was leading me to pray for the Body of Christ against a spirit called 'Mind Binding.' So I began to pray and come against mind-binding spirits in Jesus' name. After only a couple of minutes of praying, I felt a tremendous deliverance come to my own mind. It was quite dramatic. ...I felt and knew immediately that something had happened in my mind. Within minutes I was able to believe again in areas I had been struggling with just prior to my time of prayer. ...When the spirits left, the ability to believe came rushing back.
"...It frequently happens that a believer knows something in his heart (his inner man), but his mind wars against it. ...The thing I was battling was...beyond decision. I was bound by these mind-binding spirits and just couldn't bring myself to believe.
"...You too may be having problems in this area. If so, I encourage you to pray in Jesus' name. By the power of His blood, come against 'mind binding spirits." Pray this not just one time but any time you experience difficulty in this area.
"The devil never runs out of fiery darts to throw against us when we are trying to go forward. Lift up your shield of faith and remember James 1:2-8 which eaches us that we can ask God for wisdom in trials and He will give it to us and will show us what to do.
"I had a problem, a fiery dart that I had not encountered before. But God showed me how to pray and I was set free.
"You will be too."
"The thief [Satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (Jesus, John 10:10)
“If you continue in My Word, you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (Jesus, John 8:31-32)
Here's a great video that's had over 20 million views: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA
Here's how you can enter into a relationship with Jesus today: http://www.billygraham.org/SH_StepstoPeace.asp
God loved you so much He gave his life just to be with you.
"I once reached a place in my walk with God where I was having trouble believing certain things that I had previously believed. I didn't understand what was wrong with me and as a result I got confused. ...The unbelief seemed to be growing by leaps and bounds. ...I couldn't seem to believe much of anything.
"Two days in a row I heard this phrase coming out of my spirit: 'Mind binding spirits.' The first day I didn't think much about it. However, the second day, as I began a time of intercession, I heard it again for about the fourth or fifth time: 'mind-binding spirits.'
"I knew from all the people to whom I had ministered that mulitudes of believers have trouble with their minds. I thought that the Holy Spirit was leading me to pray for the Body of Christ against a spirit called 'Mind Binding.' So I began to pray and come against mind-binding spirits in Jesus' name. After only a couple of minutes of praying, I felt a tremendous deliverance come to my own mind. It was quite dramatic. ...I felt and knew immediately that something had happened in my mind. Within minutes I was able to believe again in areas I had been struggling with just prior to my time of prayer. ...When the spirits left, the ability to believe came rushing back.
"...It frequently happens that a believer knows something in his heart (his inner man), but his mind wars against it. ...The thing I was battling was...beyond decision. I was bound by these mind-binding spirits and just couldn't bring myself to believe.
"...You too may be having problems in this area. If so, I encourage you to pray in Jesus' name. By the power of His blood, come against 'mind binding spirits." Pray this not just one time but any time you experience difficulty in this area.
"The devil never runs out of fiery darts to throw against us when we are trying to go forward. Lift up your shield of faith and remember James 1:2-8 which eaches us that we can ask God for wisdom in trials and He will give it to us and will show us what to do.
"I had a problem, a fiery dart that I had not encountered before. But God showed me how to pray and I was set free.
"You will be too."
"The thief [Satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (Jesus, John 10:10)
“If you continue in My Word, you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (Jesus, John 8:31-32)
Here's a great video that's had over 20 million views: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA
Here's how you can enter into a relationship with Jesus today: http://www.billygraham.org/SH_StepstoPeace.asp
God loved you so much He gave his life just to be with you.
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I've doubted my salvation since I was a young girl. It always troubled me on and off, but for the last several months I was in torment just like you are now. I was asking myself questions like how do I know I believe, how do I know I believe enough, what does it mean to have a relationship with Jesus, why won't God give me the peace He promised, why won't God give me the assurance He promised? I was at the point where in church I felt like a complete fraud, I've begged God to end my life, I pleaded with God day and night to help me, save me, give me relief. I understand where you've been. I don't know if this will help you, but for me knowimsaved.com was where God led me to finally get complete assurance of salvation. My eyes were finally opened. I listened to every message on the page, and everything finally made sense to me. My OCD is still after me, but my quavering weak faith is now unshakable, not because my faith became strong, but because of where my faith is placed. Christ is able, even though I'm not. OCD makes us unable to trust anything, even our own minds, but God is unchanging, all powerful, all loving, and all wise. He is the only one in existance that I can indeed trust. When all around me quakes, He is the one unchanging rock. Cling to Him in your torment. I pray this helps you, but even if it doesn't. Don't ever give up what tiny faith you have. Don't give up. You obviously still have faith or you wouldn't be here. God loves you unconditionally. Don't give up hope that you will finally have some peace.
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gracealone
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Trippe,
It's impossible to despair over the loss of a relationship that you never truly had.
While it's very true that OCD is obviously causing you extreme mental pain that pain is no measure of or proof of God's saving work in your life. It's caused by imbalanced brain chemistry not by sin or lack of faith.
If you weren't a Christian you'd still have OCD it's just that the theme of your obsessions would focus on something else.
The only thing you need to give up on is engaging in the compulsive side of your disorder: trying to "make yourself believe", which is really trying to find some sort of emotional evidence as proof or reassurance that you're really a Christian. That searching which is a form of mental "checking" will only lead to the OCD having a greater and firmer grip on your emotions. When that happens all the other emotions get shoved to the side and overshadowed by the two overblown ones - FEAR & Depression.
Your experience with OCD, although it's definitely severe and excruciatingly painful, is not uncommon. As a matter of fact the one way in which it's very common is that all Christians who are severely afflicted with OCD are likely to go through what you are experiencing. This is not so with non-Christians who have OCD.
Who is treating your OCD? What practical measures are you taking to manage this disorder?
If you haven't obtained professional help for your disorder it's time to do so. The quality and functioning of your day to day living is being impacted too severly not to do so.
Please seek help now!
Don't you dare give up because God hasn't given up on you. Neither will we. All of us are in your corner - praying for you and are here to walk with you just as long as it takes for you to come through this difficult affliction.
Mitzi
PS. keep in touch
It's impossible to despair over the loss of a relationship that you never truly had.
While it's very true that OCD is obviously causing you extreme mental pain that pain is no measure of or proof of God's saving work in your life. It's caused by imbalanced brain chemistry not by sin or lack of faith.
If you weren't a Christian you'd still have OCD it's just that the theme of your obsessions would focus on something else.
The only thing you need to give up on is engaging in the compulsive side of your disorder: trying to "make yourself believe", which is really trying to find some sort of emotional evidence as proof or reassurance that you're really a Christian. That searching which is a form of mental "checking" will only lead to the OCD having a greater and firmer grip on your emotions. When that happens all the other emotions get shoved to the side and overshadowed by the two overblown ones - FEAR & Depression.
Your experience with OCD, although it's definitely severe and excruciatingly painful, is not uncommon. As a matter of fact the one way in which it's very common is that all Christians who are severely afflicted with OCD are likely to go through what you are experiencing. This is not so with non-Christians who have OCD.
Who is treating your OCD? What practical measures are you taking to manage this disorder?
If you haven't obtained professional help for your disorder it's time to do so. The quality and functioning of your day to day living is being impacted too severly not to do so.
Please seek help now!
Don't you dare give up because God hasn't given up on you. Neither will we. All of us are in your corner - praying for you and are here to walk with you just as long as it takes for you to come through this difficult affliction.
Mitzi
PS. keep in touch
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Trippe
I believe that you are trying too hard and focusing too much on what you fear. Just try to relax. Look into your heart, I think you will find that you do believe. It's your mind that is causing you all the trouble. Read the gospels, pray daily and believe and claim these scriptures:
Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
Isiaah 55:11 "So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth: It shall not return to me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
I believe that if you persevere to do these things, eventually you will be set free and will know that you believe and trust in the Lord.
I am praying for you. God bless you.
I believe that you are trying too hard and focusing too much on what you fear. Just try to relax. Look into your heart, I think you will find that you do believe. It's your mind that is causing you all the trouble. Read the gospels, pray daily and believe and claim these scriptures:
Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
Isiaah 55:11 "So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth: It shall not return to me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
I believe that if you persevere to do these things, eventually you will be set free and will know that you believe and trust in the Lord.
I am praying for you. God bless you.
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