Can't Stop Crying

[Jacob4Jesus]

It's New Years and I don't think I have ever felt this bad in my life. I am all alone... all my friends are doing other things... the love of my life is sitting in a hospital 144 miles away... totally unaware of anything... none of my meds seem to be working... watching Buffy isn't even cheering me up... I just feel so terrible. I don't want to call my psychiatrist though cause she will probably hospitilize me and who knows when I would see Steven or anyone else again...

 

[Susan]

Awwwwww

 

[Garcookie]

Hi, when Elijah was in the desert in a desperate state (somewhere in Kings, sorry don't know exact verse) the first thing the Lord did was provide food for him and give him rest. You need to look after yourself - turn off buffy, she doesn't help! Make yourself a hot drink. Eat something tasty, doesn't matter what it is, like something really fine! Don't phone the psychiatrist. She can't help you like Jesus can. Your need is something that she can't provide & that's the love of God.

And happy new year! You don't have to be out and about at this time. It's a non-event when you think about it, just one second ticking onto another second. Sorry, that probably doesn't help when you feel rotten & lonely. You poor thing.

Sorry to hear about your friend. Life hurts: sometimes but not all the time, you won't always feel like this.

Luv from your sis in Christ, Garcookie x <@}}><

 

[Megan]

Jacob,

I am new here so I do not know all about you. I read through the thread where you describe how you've "stepped back" for a while because of Stevens Mum. Think that is a very brave and compassionate thing to do towards her. But it must be hard on you!!

Can't give you any advice more than to say that God loves you and is with you this very difficult time for you. He holds you close and comforts you. For you to really feel that now might be hard (I am still eating meds for my depression) - at least I had a difficult time with it while I was at my "lowest" point. But now when I start to get the pieces of me back in order I can look back and see that He really was there!!

You have my prayers!
Megan

 

[Megan]

Oh... Forgot one thing! CRY!!! If you need that outlet use it!!! Crying can be a vent sometimes!!

And be kind to yourself... embedd yourself with warmth, eat/drink something that soothes you! Love yourself!!!

/Megan

 

[Iddie4him]

You have my comfort and compassion also.

 

[desi]

So go out!

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

It's New Years and I don't think I have ever felt this bad in my life. I am all alone... all my friends are doing other things... the love of my life is sitting in a hospital 144 miles away... totally unaware of anything... none of my meds seem to be working... watching Buffy isn't even cheering me up... I just feel so terrible. I don't want to call my psychiatrist though cause she will probably hospitilize me and who knows when I would see Steven or anyone else again...

Jacob, I know what it's like to spend holidays alone. I've spent many this way, and can be awful. Being related to people who are chronically assigned to work all the holidays has it's drawbacks, to say the least. I know-it's awful.

What I do is I set the environment for myself when that happens. If it's cold, I put a fire in the fireplace. I call people or they call me. Make everything the way I like it, and then I pray, or read theology, or watch a video, or work and just remember that pretty soon the clock will turn, and the people I love will be in my presence again.

The idea is, it's all temporary. And you actually can set the environment to match your tastes. Look forward, and what you'll see is the hour where everyone returns home.

 

[doofus125]

Jacob,

I just spent the whole night by myself crying also, wishing I were with the people I love so in a way I know what you are going through. If we lived closer we could have cried together because it would have been better than being alone. I also have a friend who I haven't seen in a while who just came out of the hospital because his meds weren't working and he was having really bad anxiety attacks and I see that whole situation and it terrifies me. Jacob, if you feel you need to go to the hospital for help then please go because I know I don't want to see you hurt yourself or anything else and I don't want you to be in this pain. I don't like sharing my past romantic hurts with people, but I am going to share now. Two years ago I was in a similar boat, I was totally in love with the man of my dreams. I was on alot of meds for depression and anxiety. Now I know my situation was different being Josh left me, our relationship was like yours and stevens (no sex) except it didn't involve God. Josh left me for another guy and I fell apart and just like the other times, I tried to hurt myself. I wish someone would have told me to go to the hospital or I wish someone woudl have taken me. I may sound all wrapped up and like things in my life are going well but they are not. I'm not sure why I am telling you this, maybe it's because I feel like I can relate to you in many ways if not all. The thing I'm realizing Jabob is that if something is your hearts desire, then go for it, follow your heart bro, as long as you have Jesus it's not worth your sanity to fight it and go against your hearts desire.

Love Always,

Bill

 

[Angeldove97]

Depression is one of the hardest things a Christian has to fight in their life. I've been living with depression on and off for about five years now, at least, and I'm the type of person who doesn't go for the med's or anything. I also spent my New Years crying my eyes out and being lonely: I just started college which is stressful, broke up with my boyfriend recently, and I just felt so lonely on that day. I would later find out that my ex hooked up with another girl also. Yet the we, as saved Christians, as children of God, we have prayer and God is always with us. This will hopefully comfort you. The next best thing to do is to talk to someone about how you're feeling. I hope 2004 turns out to be better for you and we'll be praying for you Take care and God bless. Love, Tanya

 

[Debi1967]

How are feeling jacob any better I hope?

 

[Jacob4Jesus]

Yeah, I have been doing all right. Steven is making amazing progress. He is talking about his car and stuff. I am happy.

 

[Debi1967]

Yeah, I have been doing all right. Steven is making amazing progress. He is talking about his car and stuff. I am happy.

I am glad I was beginning to really worry about you but I didn't see the threads until this one came up. Sorry. You know you could have PMed me at any time. And you still can if you need to talk.

 

[Debi1967]

Oh by the way I spent it alone as well if you had just let me know I would have given you my # nad we could have talked all nite if you wanted and kept each other company.

 

[Susan]

I'm very happy to hear that he's making good progress.

 

[doofus125]

Yeah, I have been doing all right. Steven is making amazing progress. He is talking about his car and stuff. I am happy.

Talk to us man, what's going on inside, u don't seem very excited even though you say you are happy......is everything ok with you?