Alright folks so this was night 15 of these awful dreams. At the start I put it down to pregnancy hormones (they are getting the blame for everything right now!) but now I'm not so sure. I'm going to give you guys a bit of backround info about whats been going on lately and then tell you what these dreams are and let me know what you think?
Hubby, Stepson, and his mother
So, my husband has an 8 year old son, whos only recently re-entered our lives. He was with the mother (not married) for 2 years before she fell pregnant. Having a very difficult 9 months he bought her and her best friend a holiday to Spain when the baby was 6weeks old. She was supposed to stay only 1 week, so he arrived to the airport to pick them up after the week was over and only her friend got off the plane. She called him later that day to say she wasnt ready to come home or be a mum and she'll be home next week. It was a YEAR later when she returned! In the meantime his best friend had moved to England ( or so he thought) for work. She arrived back with hubbys so called best friend and said she'd been sleeping with said friend for 6 months before she fell pregnant and baby wasnt hubbys. He was devastated! No court in Ireland will order a mother to give a paternity test unless she is seeking child maintenance which she wasn't so there was nothing he could do. He begged her to leave the baby that he'd reared by himself for the first year of his life but she took the baby and left without leaving an address contact info or anything and moved to Northern Ireland which is governed by the UK right now.
He began to try to get on with his life after a while and we started to date and last year planned to get married in April 2011, her mother is from the town we live in a news travels fast here. Her mother told her the information and it was said back second hand that his now ex had said she'll do everything to stop our wedding going ahead. She contacted hubby and asked him to rebuild their relationship that she had mental issues after the baby was born and was seeking help. He refused but requested a paternity test again. She agreed. Appointment was made but she didnt show. 2 months before our wedding she sent hubby a court summons for child maintenance! He was delighted coz now he could get his test. Results came back 2 days before our wedding 99.6% positive that child is his. I was heartbroken. Mainly because he had to deal with her and I seen know much she hurt him, but also because he had a child that wasnt mine.
Anyway, now the child mother has decided she wants to be my new best friend! I really dont want to have a relatioship with her aside from being my stepsons mother. I dont want to have a friendship with her and Im also very weary of her because only this time last year she was confessing her undying love for my husband. We have the little boy every second weekend but she keeps coming into my home and sitting down and chatting for 1hr+, it makes me uncomfortable but I cant say anything in front of the boy and I know hubbys afraid she'll take him away again so he wont say anything either.
Mum
On the other hand my Mum has has 2 heart attacks since June, shes on a cardiac recovery program and supposed to be giving up cigarettes and alcohol, I know shes still drinking but recently found out that she's also still smoking. Its like playing Russian Roulette! Her life is at stake here and she doesnt seem to care! I feel so hurt that shes adding this stress to me right now, but I also feel very selfish for feeling this way too. I love my mum and its so hard for me to watch her be reckless with her life with there are people fighting for theirs.
The Dreams
Last nights was the worst!
I dreamt last night that I got into bed and found ear-rings on my bedside table that wern't mine. I asked hubby who owned them and he said "Rachel" (that isnt her name but we'll go with that one anyway), to which I replied "why are they here?" in a real dismissive tone he replied "why do you think?" So I came right out and asked " did you sleep with her in our bed?" he replied "you know I did". So feeling upset and hurt I call my mum who answers drunk and tells me to grow up and he was hers first so I need to deal with it.
They are all like that with small variations. I didnt think I was insecure about her. But Im starting now to doubt myself, even though its just a dream Im waking up mad at hubby and feeling betrayed by him which I know is dumb!
Any thoughts?
Hubby, Stepson, and his mother
So, my husband has an 8 year old son, whos only recently re-entered our lives. He was with the mother (not married) for 2 years before she fell pregnant. Having a very difficult 9 months he bought her and her best friend a holiday to Spain when the baby was 6weeks old. She was supposed to stay only 1 week, so he arrived to the airport to pick them up after the week was over and only her friend got off the plane. She called him later that day to say she wasnt ready to come home or be a mum and she'll be home next week. It was a YEAR later when she returned! In the meantime his best friend had moved to England ( or so he thought) for work. She arrived back with hubbys so called best friend and said she'd been sleeping with said friend for 6 months before she fell pregnant and baby wasnt hubbys. He was devastated! No court in Ireland will order a mother to give a paternity test unless she is seeking child maintenance which she wasn't so there was nothing he could do. He begged her to leave the baby that he'd reared by himself for the first year of his life but she took the baby and left without leaving an address contact info or anything and moved to Northern Ireland which is governed by the UK right now.
He began to try to get on with his life after a while and we started to date and last year planned to get married in April 2011, her mother is from the town we live in a news travels fast here. Her mother told her the information and it was said back second hand that his now ex had said she'll do everything to stop our wedding going ahead. She contacted hubby and asked him to rebuild their relationship that she had mental issues after the baby was born and was seeking help. He refused but requested a paternity test again. She agreed. Appointment was made but she didnt show. 2 months before our wedding she sent hubby a court summons for child maintenance! He was delighted coz now he could get his test. Results came back 2 days before our wedding 99.6% positive that child is his. I was heartbroken. Mainly because he had to deal with her and I seen know much she hurt him, but also because he had a child that wasnt mine.
Anyway, now the child mother has decided she wants to be my new best friend! I really dont want to have a relatioship with her aside from being my stepsons mother. I dont want to have a friendship with her and Im also very weary of her because only this time last year she was confessing her undying love for my husband. We have the little boy every second weekend but she keeps coming into my home and sitting down and chatting for 1hr+, it makes me uncomfortable but I cant say anything in front of the boy and I know hubbys afraid she'll take him away again so he wont say anything either.
Mum
On the other hand my Mum has has 2 heart attacks since June, shes on a cardiac recovery program and supposed to be giving up cigarettes and alcohol, I know shes still drinking but recently found out that she's also still smoking. Its like playing Russian Roulette! Her life is at stake here and she doesnt seem to care! I feel so hurt that shes adding this stress to me right now, but I also feel very selfish for feeling this way too. I love my mum and its so hard for me to watch her be reckless with her life with there are people fighting for theirs.
The Dreams
Last nights was the worst!
I dreamt last night that I got into bed and found ear-rings on my bedside table that wern't mine. I asked hubby who owned them and he said "Rachel" (that isnt her name but we'll go with that one anyway), to which I replied "why are they here?" in a real dismissive tone he replied "why do you think?" So I came right out and asked " did you sleep with her in our bed?" he replied "you know I did". So feeling upset and hurt I call my mum who answers drunk and tells me to grow up and he was hers first so I need to deal with it.
They are all like that with small variations. I didnt think I was insecure about her. But Im starting now to doubt myself, even though its just a dream Im waking up mad at hubby and feeling betrayed by him which I know is dumb!
Any thoughts?
for you/your dreams, your mom's health, and the situation with your husband's ex.
