Can you have sex with your ex spouse?

[Beth1231]

Hubby heard this scenario on Christian radio and we were both pretty speechless. Basically, this woman and her husband were married for a year, got divorced and now when her ex feels like it, he comes over, cleans the house and she gives him sex. I was like...wha? Now, disregarding the part about "you clean house, I give you sex" for a moment, can someone shed some light on whether or not it's wrong to have sex with the person you divorced if no one else is in the picture on either side? How does God look at this strangeness? Oh, and by the way, the radio guy told the lady that she was in a prostitute relationship and the radio censored him and went to commercial break! Okay, post away.

 

[seamonster]

If you're still getting all the benefits of marriage, what was the point of getting divorced? Hrm....
No, I don't think it's right. Sex is for marriage, regardless of whether you used to be married to that person. If you are not married to them now, you have no business having sex.

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

Hmm... I'd say, are they truly divorced? I mean if either of em hasn't got anyone else an they are still actin out a some what marriage life thingy, did they ever divorce in God's eyes? Given for the moment that God has eye'd their divorce then of course this is stupidity, acts more like gittin the cows milk witout havin to buy the cow in my book. But then agin, if'n God doesn't recoginze their disolved union, then is it sex outside of marriage? Regardless if they claim to be divorced? Ex er not?

 

[Diane_Windsor]

Beth,

I don't believe that God recognises civil divorce, therefore, they can have all the sex they want.

DIANE

 

[sarasarabobara]

Hey miss Beth!

Talk about unique thread titles. This one just about made my eyeballs pop out!

Sorry, I don't really have a solid response because I'm not sure, but since sex is sacred in the context of marriage, it would seem as though they broke a covenant in the eyes of God and the law, but are currently performing an act which is preserved for marriage...hmm...it would seem as though they should just get re-married!

 

[JesusWasn'tWhite]

If God doesn't recognize civil divorce, does He recognize civil marriage?
Should a couple need to be married in the eyes of the state before sex is accepted in God's eyes?

 

[Svt4Him]

God does recognize civil divorce, and to have sex outside of marriage is sin.

A clear example of showing that God recognizes divorce can be found by God saying that if a person is married, then divorces and remarries and divoces, they can not go back to their first spouse. If God didn't recognize civil divorce, it wouldn't matter if they went back, they are still married. Yet God clearly says it's wrong.

 

[E_Powers]

God does recognize civil divorce, and to have sex outside of marriage is sin.

A clear example of showing that God recognizes divorce can be found by God saying that if a person is married, then divorces and remarries and divoces, they can not go back to their first spouse. If God didn't recognize civil divorce, it wouldn't matter if they went back, they are still married. Yet God clearly says it's wrong.

GOOD POST

 

[shinbits]

Basically, this woman and her husband were married for a year, got divorced and now when her ex feels like it, he comes over, cleans the house and she gives him sex. I was like...wha?

She got him to clean the house??!!

 

[Beth1231]

Wow, okay some good points out here. The first thing that came to mind was "Does God recognize them as divorced?" Addicted to Jesus hit on that point. And regarding the whole "clean my house" thing, the woman on the radio said that they got divorced because they just couldn't communicate. After one year of trying? Give me a break. Anyway, the radio guys told her her love language is "acts of service" and he comes over and cleans the house, makes her feel good and then she wants to um..make him feel good. So he is just using her? Is this like dating and fornication now? When does God see a couple as split apart and cannot return?

 

[Mr.Cheese]

well this sounds like prostitution with services rendered instead of money paid.

This scenario is too dehumanizing for me to endorse.

On the other hand, I can see how two people would "miss" one another.

 

[Leanna]

God does recognize civil divorce, and to have sex outside of marriage is sin.

A clear example of showing that God recognizes divorce can be found by God saying that if a person is married, then divorces and remarries and divoces, they can not go back to their first spouse. If God didn't recognize civil divorce, it wouldn't matter if they went back, they are still married. Yet God clearly says it's wrong.

I agree.

 

[Leanna]

Wow, okay some good points out here. The first thing that came to mind was "Does God recognize them as divorced?" Addicted to Jesus hit on that point. And regarding the whole "clean my house" thing, the woman on the radio said that they got divorced because they just couldn't communicate. After one year of trying? Give me a break. Anyway, the radio guys told her her love language is "acts of service" and he comes over and cleans the house, makes her feel good and then she wants to um..make him feel good. So he is just using her? Is this like dating and fornication now? When does God see a couple as split apart and cannot return?

Sounds like they need to learn to communicate and get remarried.

 

[Johnnz]

When two people divorce the marriage is over. Scripture recognises this, as any subsequent marriage is also recognised. There are no 'rights' or escape from Christian sexual standards that those two can appeal to to justify what they are doing.

John
NZ

 

[HeatherJay]

It's all a heart thing. Do they consider themselves married? Are they still married in their hearts? I would tend to think not, since obviously they got divorced and no longer want to be a couple. They're using each other in the same way that single people hooking up with each other use each other. If they were still married in their hearts, they would never have gotten a divorce...either that or they would remarry.

They're having sex outside of marriage in my opinion. God knows what's in their hearts...there's no fooling Him. Does this sound like a relationship that is honoring God's idea of sex within the bounds of marriage? Or does it sound more like two people trying to find a loophole in the rules to justify their fornication? Hmmm.

 

[MaraPetra]

That's just plain gross. It's degrading for both of them, IMHO.

The Bible's very clear on marriage/remarriage/divorce. Check out this nice little Scripture:

If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, 2 and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, 3 and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, 4 then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD. Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (NIV)

Once you divorce a spouse, that's supposed to be it insofar as sexual relations are concerned. I like this passage, because it clearly states that a civil certificate of divorce is recognized in God's eyes. No question about it there. It also gives credence and validity to the second marriage.

Sounds like the couple in question are just looking for a reason to justify a really seamy relationship. If they aren't married anymore, with no hope of reconciliation, then they're just fornicating.

 

[Godisgr8r]

I say it is wrong. They aren't married to each other anymore.

 

[Mrs. Enigma]

I think that in God's eyes the couple is still married, but that whole set up just sounds really weird.