Can someone help me? I can't seem to remember who I am in anymore.

[Mediakira]

I find myself in a situation that I can't seem to remember who I am. Every since the Holy Spirit Baptism by Christ Himself. I can't seem to remember something. There is things that I can't seem to know that was me.

Right now, I can't seem to have passion into anything. I'm also getting to a point where I'm afraid to fall love another man. Even if I want to have a husband, and a son someday. I'm afraid to be myself, I feel like an empty soul. If I try to be myself. I feel like I'm going to die, or I'm going to be condemned. When I feel this I began to mourn for myself. Am I not allowed to be myself? Am I being attacked by Satan? Does he make you feel ashamed of just be you?

I don't even feel like singing. I feel like I don't have the energy to. Even if it's just for church or personal moments when I want to sing. I feel so alone. Everyone I know has life with a spouse and kids. I keep getting this idea, that I'm not going to have this dream of life. Would God keep someone from loving someone? From the heart I mean. Not the sinful way of course.

I haven't been doing anything that I normally do. Because I feel like I'm out of character. My heart wants to soar with real love again. And I want to get into my cartooning again too. But I'm stuck on getting the right motive. I'm so scared of doing anything.

It's like a child don't want to leave a parent. I don't want to God, because I don't want to make a grave mistake. I want to do the right thing. I read the Bible daily. I want to follow everything right. I want to send out the right message through my work. But with this type of world we live in. How am I going to send out the right message. Half of me understands what's going on. But the other half of me is trying to figure out what's missing. Where did this go? Then I don't feel the love of God anymore. Which is making me more worried. I've been praying for relief of any kind. What is this I'm going through?

Is this a withdraw of some kind? lol

 

[Johnnz]

Two possibilities come to mind.

You may be experiencing some level of depression; or

You may have an inadequate understanding of the scope of the Gospel through what you have been taught, leaving you with a huge gap between your talents and desires and what you think being a Christian is all about.

John
NZ

 

[Nextstep]

I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. Pls pour out your heart to God. Cry out unto Him. He is a compassionate God and caring Father Who loves you just as you are. He gives you the Holy Spirit to empower you. He is the Great Reminder. He will remind you all the important events and lead you into all truths. Keep reading and meditating on His Word.

 

[Mediakira]

Tow possibilities come to mind.

You may be experiencing some level of depression; or

You may have an inadequate understanding of the scope of the Gospel through what you have been taught, leaving you with a huge gap between your talents and desires and what you think being a Christian is all about.

John
nZ

For one, Paul writes most of the new testament. Where he writes about relationships. He makes it too critical. It's hard to discern what to do. I have asked someone on here. But he never came back an answer. I guess the question was too hard for him.

But yeah, I am confused. There is too much violence in the world today. I don't want to be accounted for bad fruit in heaven with my work. Writing stories about Good vs Evil is a talent for me. But I'm too scared to operate about it. I don't know what I'm to do here. Sure, I don't mind making films for Christians. But how can I be me, and be a Christian. Without making a deep issue with God. At this point it's putting me in a staggered state. I know there is a scripture about a person's talents. But this is hard.

For an example: How can I make a movie like God's fishing net to get peoples attention. Without causing a Batman movie incident. With today's fab with movie describtions. Sure, I can pull off A Walt Disney really easy! But that is not me.

I read that I'm fine when it comes to Salvation and Christ. But for some reason. I keep having this that. That I'm not in rightstanding with God. I'm not even sure what it is I'm doing wrong. I'm not sure what is going on. The more I try to follow. It gets really stressful. I need to find relief, and I'm not getting it. I even tried praying. I try to hear God. But I'm afraid to even listen. Because I was accused of listening to demons before on this forum. So, If I cast God away on accident. Now, this is why I'm confused. I'm trying to do the right thing. But I'm now to cautious to do anything.

 

[Mediakira]

I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. Pls pour out your heart to God. Cry out unto Him. He is a compassionate God and caring Father Who loves you just as you are. He gives you the Holy Spirit to empower you. He is the Great Reminder. He will remind you all the important events and lead you into all truths. Keep reading and meditating on His Word.

I hope He does. I feel very alone. I don't even feel Him around right now. I really need His security right now. Really bad!

 

[Johnnz]

Wow. That's a lot you are struggling with. Seems you have acquired some less than helpful concepts.

I can direct you to some materials that you could find helpful if you want to do some 'homework'. None of those issues will just go away so its worth investing some time and effort into some answers that make sense. PM me if you want to go down that path.

Bless you
John

 

[St_Worm2]

Praying for you Mediakira.

Also, I'm with Johnnz, there is much that you are struggling with, though it's hard to discern exactly what that is from what you've written.

You know, part of being a good Christian isn't just spending your life ministering to others, sometimes it's allowing the rest of us (including God Himself, BTW) to minister to you. If I was struggling and began to feel like you do now, the very first person I would go and see is my pastor, so my advice would be for you to do the same.

Yours and His,
David

 

[Bible2]

Mediakira said in post 1:

My heart wants to soar with real love again. And I want to get into my cartooning again too.

God may want you to be celibate and to not do cartooning. You need to ask him about these things and be willing to give up the idea of getting married and the idea of doing cartooning, if that's his will. In the future, he may not require you to give up marriage or cartooning forever, but he may be asking you now to be willing to give them up at least temporarily for him (cf. Luke 14:33).

Re: celibacy, in Mt. 19:10-12, Jesus is agreeing with the disciples that it's better for a believer not to get married, if a believer can handle being celibate (1 Cor. 7:7-9). Jesus used eunuchs (castrated men) to represent those believers who give up marriage (even without being castrated) in order to serve Jesus without distraction (1 Cor. 7:32-35, Rev. 14:4).

If one can handle receiving the gift of celibacy instead of ever getting married (1 Cor. 7:7-8, Mt. 19:12b), celibacy is a good thing (1 Cor. 7:1). It's a great blessing, for it allows one to devote oneself completely to Jesus without distraction (1 Cor. 7:32-35). Jesus is spiritually the husband of all those who serve him (2 Cor. 11:2), whether they're celibate or married.

I don't even feel like singing. I feel like I don't have the energy to.

What has been your diet lately? You need to make sure to eat properly so your body and brain can have a sufficient energy level.

 

[Bible2]

Mediakira said in post 4:

There is too much violence in the world today.

Amen.

In Mt. 5:39 (like in Mt. 26:52, 2 Cor. 10:3-5), Jesus commands Christians (who are under the New Covenant: Mt. 26:28, Jer. 31:31) not to employ violence against people, even in self-defense. Some Christians mistakenly think Lk. 22:36b supports Christian violence. But Lk. 22:36b means every believer must obtain the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (Eph. 6:17, Heb. 4:12). The "two swords" which by themselves are enough for all believers together (Lk. 22:38) represent the 2 parts of God's Word: the Old Testament & the New Testament. Lk. 22:36b can't mean every believer must obtain a physical weapon, for otherwise 2 physical weapons wouldn't have been enough for 11 apostles (Lk. 22:38). And Lk. 22:36b can't mean any believer should obtain a physical weapon with which to attack other people, even in self-defense, for believers are elsewhere commanded not to defend themselves when they're attacked, but to turn the other cheek (Mt. 5:39). For those who take up a physical weapon to attack other people, even in self-defense, will perish by a weapon (Mt. 26:52).

Believers don't employ physical weapons or any other violence against people (2 Cor. 10:3-5, Eph. 6:12-18). Instead, Jesus at his 1st coming set the example for believers of what they're to do when they're physically attacked by people (1 Pet. 2:19-23). Believers are to go meekly like sheep to the slaughter (Rom. 8:36) just like Jesus did (Isa. 53:7). Believers know death is no loss for them, but even gain (Philip. 1:21) as it brings their souls into heaven to be with Jesus (2 Cor. 5:8), which is far better than remaining in this world (Philip. 1:23). During the coming tribulation, believers will have to face martyrdom with patience & faith unto the end (Rev. 13:7-10, 14:12-13, 20:4, Mt. 24:9-13), just as believers have always had to spiritually overcome in the face of martyrdom (e.g. Rev. 2:10-11). Believers mustn't fear death (Heb. 2:15), & mustn't love their lives unto death (Rev. 12:11b), but must hate their lives in this world if they're to retain eternal life (Jn. 12:25, Mk. 8:34-38).

Also, Christians are commanded to love their enemies (Mt. 5:44), & that means they must do them no harm (Rom. 13:10a, Mt. 7:12).

I know there is a scripture about a person's talents.

Indeed.

Jesus gives each believer his own spiritual work to do (Mk. 13:34). And Jesus gives different believers different amounts of spiritual talents (Mt. 25:15), so it's not possible for all believers to do the same spiritual work for Jesus, or to accomplish the same amount for him. And so any one believer shouldn't judge another other believer for not doing the same spiritual work he's doing, or accomplishing as much as he's accomplishing (Rom. 14:4), nor should any believer think the spiritual work Jesus has given him is unnecessary & not a real part of the operation of the church (1 Cor. 12:14-30). But there's still no room for complacency, because for those believers who've been given much spiritual talent by God, much will be required of them by God (Lk. 12:48b), & for those believers who haven't been given as much spiritual talent by God, they're still expected to accomplish something for him, & not sit back & do nothing at all for him (Mt. 25:26,30, Jn. 15:2a, Rom. 2:6-8).

Jesus isn't a hard taskmaster; he won't ever give believers more work to do for him than they can easily bear (Mt. 11:28-30). So if believers ever get stressed out that Jesus is asking them to do too much, it's not Jesus asking them to do whatever is stressing them out (Lk. 10:40-42). They need to take a step back & ask Jesus what particular work he's actually asking them as individuals to do (Mk. 13:34, Rom. 12:6-8).

The talents parable (Mt. 25:14-30) is about the judgment of the individuals in the church by their individual works, at the 2nd coming (Mt. 25:19-30, Ps. 50:4-5, cf. Mk. 13:27; 2 Cor. 5:10, Rom. 2:6-8, Lk. 12:45-48), which Jesus had just finished saying won't occur until immediately after the future tribulation (Mt. 24:29-31). So Mt. 25:21,23 refers to obedient individuals in the church entering into the joy of ruling on the earth with the Lord Jesus during the future millennium (Rev. 20:4-6, 5:10, 2:26-29), which won't begin until after the 2nd coming (Rev. 19:7-20:6, Zech. 14:3-21). Mt. 25:30 refers to disobedient believers losing their salvation at the 2nd coming (Mt. 24:48-51, Lk. 12:45-46) & entering into "the blackness of darkness for ever" (Jude 1:13), "to whom the mist of darkness is reserved for ever" (2 Pet. 2:17).

 

[tturt]

Mediakira, I'm sorry that you're going through this and we're praying for you.

To anyone who has a lot of questions right now encourage you not to get into a relationship until some questions are sorted out.

Suggest that you read "How to Hear From God in a Noisy World" It has exercises which are helpful. Also, G_d gave you your basic personality but read about who you are according to His Word such as He thinks about you more than the grains of sand (Psa 139:17-18), He only wants what's good for you (Jer 29:11), He sings over you (Zep 3:17) and He has a destiny for your life (Jeremiah 29:11).

As far as not being able to sing - it made me think of when David and his men returned to camp and found their dwellings burnt and their families gone, Scripture states at that point David encouraged himself in the Lord. (I Sam 30). It doesn't say how but one thing that I get out of this - see what you think - he wasn't relying on his feelings but was relying on the Lord. Since music affects our hearts, don't you think he sung in spite of what was going on? Gosh, it must have been so hard. Wonder which Psalms he sung to Yahweh?

Perhaps take one issue at a time and ask Yahweh to guide you in each step.

 

[toLiJC]

just start invoking Those Ones Who really are the true God Father and true Lord Jesus Christ for help until They help you enough

 

[Mediakira]

To anyone who has a lot of questions right now encourage you not to get into a relationship until some questions are sorted out.

I'll try. It's hard to walk alone, and not to cry when I see a baby in a woman's arms. I don't want to envy them. But it still strikes my heart harshly.

That book you mentioned. I'll have to read that on amazon. I hope that doesn't confuse me more. I have two books about hearing God. One book is in question because that one triggered my sister's illness. But life was stressful at that time too. I to wish she was well. It's like she's trapped by evil forces, and I can't do anything to help her.

 

[Mediakira]

God may want you to be celibate and to not do cartooning. You need to ask him about these things and be willing to give up the idea of getting married and the idea of doing cartooning, if that's his will. In the future, he may not require you to give up marriage or cartooning forever, but he may be asking you now to be willing to give them up at least temporarily for him (cf. Luke 14:33).

Re: celibacy, in Mt. 19:10-12, Jesus is agreeing with the disciples that it's better for a believer not to get married, if a believer can handle being celibate (1 Cor. 7:7-9). Jesus used eunuchs (castrated men) to represent those believers who give up marriage (even without being castrated) in order to serve Jesus without distraction (1 Cor. 7:32-35, Rev. 14:4).

If one can handle receiving the gift of celibacy instead of ever getting married (1 Cor. 7:7-8, Mt. 19:12b), celibacy is a good thing (1 Cor. 7:1). It's a great blessing, for it allows one to devote oneself completely to Jesus without distraction (1 Cor. 7:32-35). Jesus is spiritually the husband of all those who serve him (2 Cor. 11:2), whether they're celibate or married.



What has been your diet lately? You need to make sure to eat properly so your body and brain can have a sufficient energy level.

I can't handle being alone with the rest of my life. It would be torture for me. If I can't handle distractions of being married. How can I love another human being God has commanded. That doesn't make sense.

I can't give up my cartooning. It's fused with me. If I give up my talent, and dream. I might as well not live on this earth. It's like an apple tree knows it can produce it's fruit. If God tell's it not too, because He has other plans. Won't that make what Jesus say about none fruit trees a little silly.

 

[LilLamb219]

Have you had a complete physical exam lately? Our bodies having a lack of nutrients and minerals can bring about some of the things you've described so I encourage you to seek out medical attention and get that checked off right away.

Singing...oh wow, you touched me on that one. I LOVE to sing! No one can shut me up If you really want to get back into it, just do it. I mean, JUST START SINGING. Pick a past favorite song and go for it.

You shouldn't have to give up cartooning. I'm an artist and for the longest time I didn't really see how my talents could further God's Kingdom at all, until my church had me paint some murals on the walls. That really made me smile to be able to help out. You can find ways to use your talents and appreciate even more the gifts God has given to you.

As others have said, until you can pull yourself together, now probably isn't the best time for a relationship. But don't use that as an excuse if you're really falling for someone hard though!

 

[jenniferd828]

Of course you feel different, you become a new person once you are born again, you recieve the holy spirit and have access to God. if i learn anything again, its not to jump ahead of God and listening to what others say. it will drive you crazy. also you are suppose to follow God everyday and devote yourself if thats what you are trying to do. I'm sure he is in your presence working on a plan for your llife. so dont worry about what others. i mean what human being has the kind of love God has. His love completes us and sets us free if i said that right. and i completely understand the captivity thing. it could happen to you, it seems like you kinda feel that. you're afraid of losing your but Jesus said those who hate thier life will find it. so only God can show your way.it may not be tomorrow but someday. :/

 

[thesunisout]

I find myself in a situation that I can't seem to remember who I am. Every since the Holy Spirit Baptism by Christ Himself. I can't seem to remember something. There is things that I can't seem to know that was me.

Right now, I can't seem to have passion into anything. I'm also getting to a point where I'm afraid to fall love another man. Even if I want to have a husband, and a son someday. I'm afraid to be myself, I feel like an empty soul. If I try to be myself. I feel like I'm going to die, or I'm going to be condemned. When I feel this I began to mourn for myself. Am I not allowed to be myself? Am I being attacked by Satan? Does he make you feel ashamed of just be you?

I don't even feel like singing. I feel like I don't have the energy to. Even if it's just for church or personal moments when I want to sing. I feel so alone. Everyone I know has life with a spouse and kids. I keep getting this idea, that I'm not going to have this dream of life. Would God keep someone from loving someone? From the heart I mean. Not the sinful way of course.

I haven't been doing anything that I normally do. Because I feel like I'm out of character. My heart wants to soar with real love again. And I want to get into my cartooning again too. But I'm stuck on getting the right motive. I'm so scared of doing anything.

It's like a child don't want to leave a parent. I don't want to God, because I don't want to make a grave mistake. I want to do the right thing. I read the Bible daily. I want to follow everything right. I want to send out the right message through my work. But with this type of world we live in. How am I going to send out the right message. Half of me understands what's going on. But the other half of me is trying to figure out what's missing. Where did this go? Then I don't feel the love of God anymore. Which is making me more worried. I've been praying for relief of any kind. What is this I'm going through?

Is this a withdraw of some kind? lol

You may not have realized that when scripture says you become a new creature in Christ, it means it literally and not metaphorically. I think your problem is, you have been made brand new and that you have some ignorance about who you are in Christ Jesus..because of that Satan is using your lack of understanding to torment you. You feel out of place because you haven't got your bearings yet. What you need to do is plant your feet firmly on the rock, the cornerstone of our faith, Jesus Christ. You need to take your stand with Him, and resist the devil.

Do you understand what a great salvation you have? Do you understand all of the blessings the Lord gives you every day? Do you know how much He loves you? Do you know how much you love Him? Do you know you have been adopted into the family of God and that He sees you as His precious daughter? Did you know that you have the right to go boldly before His throne?

I think you need to speak to your pastor and tell him you need to be discipled. You need to be under the guidance of a strong Christian woman to help you learn who you are in Christ.

Don't worry about tomorrow, don't worry about your cartooning, or getting married. Concentrate on today, because God is with you right now, and you could learn so much from Him if you would put away your concerns, and be still and silent, and listen for His voice. He will take care of you. If you would trust Him with your whole heart and put all of your cares and worries on His shoulders, things would start to make sense. Lay your fears at His cross and approach Him as a little child, and learn from Him. Ask Him for help with everything, and ask Him to help you study His word, to teach you what you need to know.

Work on surrendering yourself, your heart, 100 percent to Him, and then you will start to understand who you are, and you will receive the love and guidance that you are yearning for. I will pray for you. God bless.

 

[Mediakira]

You may not have realized that when scripture says you become a new creature in Christ, it means it literally and not metaphorically. I think your problem is, you have been made brand new and that you have some ignorance about who you are in Christ Jesus..because of that Satan is using your lack of understanding to torment you. You feel out of place because you haven't got your bearings yet. What you need to do is plant your feet firmly on the rock, the cornerstone of our faith, Jesus Christ. You need to take your stand with Him, and resist the devil.

Do you understand what a great salvation you have? Do you understand all of the blessings the Lord gives you every day? Do you know how much He loves you? Do you know how much you love Him? Do you know you have been adopted into the family of God and that He sees you as His precious daughter? Did you know that you have the right to go boldly before His throne?

I think you need to speak to your pastor and tell him you need to be discipled. You need to be under the guidance of a strong Christian woman to help you learn who you are in Christ.

Don't worry about tomorrow, don't worry about your cartooning, or getting married. Concentrate on today, because God is with you right now, and you could learn so much from Him if you would put away your concerns, and be still and silent, and listen for His voice. He will take care of you. If you would trust Him with your whole heart and put all of your cares and worries on His shoulders, things would start to make sense. Lay your fears at His cross and approach Him as a little child, and learn from Him. Ask Him for help with everything, and ask Him to help you study His word, to teach you what you need to know.

Work on surrendering yourself, your heart, 100 percent to Him, and then you will start to understand who you are, and you will receive the love and guidance that you are yearning for. I will pray for you. God bless.

I understand what you are saying. Satan might be using somethings against me. But I have been reading hard core on many things from the Bible for years. But finding a mentor is really hard.

But the areas in my life are gaps when it comes to learning from a Church. My experiances that I have recently had. Challenged the Church. The disciple class teacher is rarely there. It's mostly closed. The teacher barely has time for it. If I was to do this correctly. I'm on my own with God, and Jesus. My personal experiance has scared the Church greatly, there re-learning there teachings deeply now. My experiances are teaching them. Although they are helpful on some areas. But not enough for what God is asking me of what to do. At this point Jesus is the only mentor I have that is more head on. I just have to remember what He said of first off. Or have my Holy Ghost train me. The Church is not a bad church. There very loving, and very gentle people. I'll still go there when they find new evidence of what they re-learned.

If I'm going to do this right. I have to read Matthew, Luke, and Peter. Until it's deep in my mind. When Jesus came to me. He kept making me think of Matthew the whole time. He didn't explain why, or what verse. But it's starting to make sense in a slow processing state.

Paul is not working on this issue with me right now. It seems to me, that my path is a rare one. I'll have to do plenty of preparation. Now just with me, but with everything around me. I even have to free, and prepare my sister as well. The way it sounds last night with her conversation I had with her. She's surrounded by uncleaned spirits. They even torment her when she tries to sleep.

 

[thesunisout]

I understand what you are saying. Satan might be using somethings against me. But I have been reading hard core on many things from the Bible for years. But finding a mentor is really hard.

But the areas in my life are gaps when it comes to learning from a Church. My experiances that I have recently had. Challenged the Church. The disciple class teacher is rarely there. It's mostly closed. The teacher barely has time for it. If I was to do this correctly. I'm on my own with God, and Jesus. My personal experiance has scared the Church greatly, there re-learning there teachings deeply now. My experiances are teaching them. Although they are helpful on some areas. But not enough for what God is asking me of what to do. At this point Jesus is the only mentor I have that is more head on. I just have to remember what He said of first off. Or have my Holy Ghost train me. The Church is not a bad church. There very loving, and very gentle people. I'll still go there when they find new evidence of what they re-learned.

If I'm going to do this right. I have to read Matthew, Luke, and Peter. Until it's deep in my mind. When Jesus came to me. He kept making me think of Matthew the whole time. He didn't explain why, or what verse. But it's starting to make sense in a slow processing state.

Paul is not working on this issue with me right now. It seems to me, that my path is a rare one. I'll have to do plenty of preparation. Now just with me, but with everything around me. I even have to free, and prepare my sister as well. The way it sounds last night with her conversation I had with her. She's surrounded by uncleaned spirits. They even torment her when she tries to sleep.

What do you mean when you say your personal experience has scared your church greatly? What is it that they had to relearn because of you?

 

[Mediakira]

What do you mean when you say your personal experience has scared your church greatly? What is it that they had to relearn because of you?

On a Monday few weeks ago. I was trying to sleep, and in the corner of my eye. 3 woman in white, came to me and with a picture of Jesus. They asked if I want to receive Christ love. I accepted, and thought it was a dream. Then out of no where the spirit of Jesus fell upon me, and cased His spirit on me for a few hours. NO matter where I tossed the feeling wouldn't go away. He was really there. I accepted His presence because it was intense love. It was so soothing. It took all of my anxieties, my pain from my past. Then I heard Him say: No matter what! You hang on to me, and never let go! By Faith!

Before I knew it. I was feeling like a 5 year old by heart and body. Then I felt like a baby again. And the love was so intense I was screaming Daddy! Because I was missing Jesus since I was a child. I loved Him too much. Then I dreamed that I was in my old church when I was a 5. And I was in my Easter dress, as this 5 year old body. I was amazed, and Jesus was at the door of the children's play room. Before I could say anything to Him. He left down the hall. I chased after Him. I couldn't catch up to Him. I wanted to catch up but He was too fast for me. So, I tried to grab on His red sash. Then He turns His head to me and said: Follow me!

Then I wake up, and He's at the side of my bed, holding my hand that is out my body. and He repeated my name. Not my actual name. But the meaning of my name. He was smiling, and His teeth was so bright it was glowing. And He seemed to be very bubbly happy. Then He told me to rest.

After that time. I was feeling sick. I was feeling anemic, my muscles felt stone like affect. My brain was hurting, and felt like it was growing, or something was moving like sometime of cloud. And piercing pain like thorns. I was feeling sick to my stomach. No food was helping. Not even pain meds. My chest felt sensitive to everything. It felt like my nerves was and heart was open like fresh scrap on a knee when you take a band aid off. A voice spoke to me saying. You going to feel this for a few days. Be patient it will go away soon.

On Thursday that same week. I felt like I was dying. My heart was not feeling right. I was feeling like I was being attacked. I spoke to another person online. That night. That person told me it was a demon or Satan attacking me, and I must rebuke him in Jesus's name. It it really helped. But my head did not stop hurting till the week after.

Right now, I feel empty of some things that are not in me anymore. I think there was something there that Jesus took away that day. I'm guessing I have to leave in behind. I still remember Matthew when Jesus was there that Monday.

I know what happened to me now. Watch these videos. This is what happened to me. lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DbnD0FugL8&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpjO6iZbxgc

 

[Spiritlight]

I have similar feelings and winter does it to me every year. I sure can relate to not loving/marrying another man ( I hope that stays that way).

It makes me wonder are you making life hard for yourself thinking that faith in Jesus entitles us to an easy ride filled with only happiness?


I always remember this verse

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

It means we as people believers or not get exactly the same deal in life, except christians are given an advantage of mind transformation to transcend suffering somewhat.

As you said you feel now I have and do felt similar and it is always the same cause- deliberate unrepentant sin. It divides us from God. It is our own doing not God withdrawing his love.

I hope that helps a little.

I am jinxing myself writing that....