Can someone guide me through the steps!

[devnty06]

these 12 steps are really worth full for recovering purposes...

 

[If Not For Grace]

It is a habit rather then an addiction i think!? I do it because i can't find anything else to do with my days off or sparetime

Have you looked? It would be sad to BECOME an alcoholic, just from having been bored. You may or may not be-only you can answer that (Can you quit? Are you addicted?) Boredom leads to many a serious problem. Something in your life has to give you joy or you will come to hate the life you have & seek some "other", be it through drug/alcohol/sex/co-dependant induced state of worth.

The 12-Steps are a SELF-Help program that are spiritual based. The concept of
a Higher Power is introduced (spiritual not religion). Can/do you you believe in a "power greater than yourself" (Essence of Step 2). Meetings are held in most cities at various times of the day, & on-line. Literature is readily available.

Prayer & Meditation are encouraged. It's the best Recovery program out there-all others I have ever seen are based on it even the court systems acknowledge it & it's free (unlike treatment centers).

It starts with the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
The courage to change the things I can and
The Wisdom to know the difference.

I call that Kindergarden-pre-cursor to the Steps. We all want Peace.
Period. Peace. the 12-steps help you get it. It enhanced my religious/church experience (in fact it is because of the steps I can even set foot in a church) I had been "spiritually abused" in the Religous sector & had a belief in God but hated Church-the 12 steps turned that around for me & I had found nothing in the steps that are in conflict with Christianity.

I debated whether or not alcoholism was a disease for years & decided "it don't matter". A person who does not drink will not become one (genitic or not) so
if you don't want to be one or become one, the answer is to stop drinking, before any damage or any more damage is done. No Good can come from arranging your life around any substance.

The 12-steps are also about service-read & follow "Just for Today" & you will have plenty to do. Give em a try-they saved my life (Al-Anon) & remember they have something they call slogans. One of which is "Take what you like & leave the rest"
Another is "Keep it Simple" Then there is "First things First"--see anything there so far that w/hurt you? I don't!. Just Try it-you can always "quit".

 

[Lillen]

I use another method, i asked the doctor to prescribe antabus for me, supervised by a nurse (I went to the local healthcare center twice a week to pick up the pills)... I used it for two month for preventative purpose... With this method i am using, it is an advantage not to identify yourself as an alchoholic, or narc. last period i had drinking alchohol was 4 bottles (3dl) of wiskey for two weeks... There is an option, and the option is not being an alchoholic and live in harmony with God... There is always hope and you can be totally free from this affliction!

Many rehabiliations in sweden do not want dependant youngsters to indentify themself with the subculture they live in... They try to build up another identity apart from narc or alchoholic using rollplayers games or ART (Agression replacement training) were you are trained to expand the behavioural repetoar and trained in situations were you usually would use a substance... It is hard not try to sound as an expert, because most people within rehabilitaion soon becomes experts in their feild of recovery! I am no expert! But this worked for me 10 years ago, were i was free from drugs and alchohol for 5 years... but i forgot about the training resisting alchohol and had a relaps... I was not a heavy user of alchohol, but i usually drank in my solitude when i used alchohol. The doctor i talked too do not want me to engage in the twelve steps... but alternative methods, such as the medical (Using antabus)

When i am done smoking tobacco i want to be able to sing this song - Its the swedish version of gaithers homecoming, playing more then 100 spiritual songs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HC-10t6YNR4

Last time I overheard the doctors talk about me, they gave me the diagnos Antisocial... But i think that is unfair, since I have the bible as reference of morals - my social norms usually is deduced to the bible... such as "do not judge lest you be judged", "do not curse lest you be cursed", "forgive others and you also will be forgiven" and "aquit and you will also be aquitted!"! I did smuggled 1 kilo of hashish from christiania denmark when i was 18, but I felt regret a half year later. I havent been in fights since i was 16 (i am 28 now). I do blame many doctors for my agony, since i was burnt at the stake by them. I can however sometimes see that it is my own fault because of my sin. i do not engage in criminal behaviour except walking over the streets when the light is red. I am not violent! Long time ago, in my teens, i could harass women. I believe this is linked to the fact that women has since my early childhood tried to be in charge over my life. My mother fooled me to wear female clothes in my childhood... (i can't see any diffrence between female clothing and male clothing causing me always go to men-only clothing-stores these days). My mother was Stalin without mustasch. She forced me to clean the toillet without gloves! Everything i do still does not honor her. She is uncapable of reciving honor from her son... Nothing i do, and nothing i will ever do will still not honor her!

Right now i have chosen a life in solitude with the Lord and without a woman and without drugs and alchohol!

 

[If Not For Grace]

If alcoholism is not a disease, then a person could not get their medical insurance to pay for the treatment of it. I did extensive research in the field of alcoholism in women during my graduate studies, and am very comfortable saying it is a disease.

Lillen:

I came to the conclusion that IT Don't Matter whether or not alcoholism is a disease as far as the 12 steps go. I never did understand why it could not just be addiction. Addiction is
progressive (like a disease if left untreated). On the other hand if the substance can be
entriely abated one is free from the condition. So let it be-12 step programs has slogans/quips from various literature. One of which is "take what you like & leave the rest".

Start there.

 

[Lillen]

No it doesn't matter, we use diffrent methods of treatment to treat the same affliction. My doctor did not want me to identify myself as a narc or alchoholic when i was in treatment, because teenagers should develop positive identities according to him!

 

[Lillen]

What we can agree on is that there are more then one way to be sober and stay away from alchohol and drugs... my doctor did not want me to engage in the 12 step program, because i had not yet developed a personality according to him... I have no clue why it is so important with a personality to engage with the twelve step. But thats what my first doctor 10 years ago said!

 

[If Not For Grace]

Well The primary focus of the teachings of the 12-steps is to let us know that we have choices and that we have a "higher power" from whom we should seek guidance. If that's something you think could benefit you, try a few live meetings.
It takes a bit as it is a process. One thing they will tell you to do to aid in changing a behavior is to "change your playmates & playgrounds". What else do you like to do besides drink beer?

 

[madison1101]

I love being in recovery for my alcoholism, and having the obsession to drink gone. The obsession was lifted because I worked the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I did not need a drug to have it lifted, I needed a spiritual renewal with the help of AA.

 

[Lillen]

I been sober and away from beer for three month, i stopped drinking - i play the guitar, work as a tailor, and i read the bible... The bible and Jesus is my higher power from whom i seek guidance... sometimes it can be good with consulting someone who on the behalf of God and prayers to God, heal you... I like my dentist, he actually healed me on the behalf of prayers to God from herpes...

 

[Lillen]

If i ever starts drinking again, 12 step is a choice!! Right now it feels unnecessary since i have no plans to start drinking again!

My mother has taught me well - when i was in the teens i got housearrest, not allowed to leave my home, as punishement for drinking... my older sister got villagearrest for 1 and ½ years, not allowed to leave the village for that amount of time. My sister got this punishment for stealing aquavit from our step father!

In sweden it is healthcare and social services that pay for rehabilitation... Socialdemocracy has made it this way... making taxpayers pay for rehabilitation. They did not want to pay for 12 steps and gave me medical rehab instead!

 

[madison1101]

If i ever starts drinking again, 12 step is a choice!! Right now it feels unnecessary since i have no plans to start drinking again!

My mother has taught me well - when i was in the teens i got housearrest, not allowed to leave my home, as punishement for drinking... my older sister got villagearrest for 1 and ½ years, not allowed to leave the village for that amount of time. My sister got this punishment for stealing aquavit from our step father!

In sweden it is healthcare and social services that pay for rehabilitation... Socialdemocracy has made it this way... making taxpayers pay for rehabilitation. They did not want to pay for 12 steps and gave me medical rehab instead!

You are blessed to have socialized medicine, something I pray we eventually achieve fully.

I attended AA for 20 years, achieving over 8 years of sobriety, then a relapse for a couple of years, because I did not complete all 12 steps of the AA program. Then, I got 6 years of sobriety, but again, had not completed all of the steps. My last relapse was a doozy, where I was drinking every day for weeks at a time. Finally I ended up in a psychiatric ward for a week, where they recommended I attend an inpatient rehab for my alcoholism. I was already attending an outpatient rehab program for over a year. I was inpatient at the rehab, where we attended group therapy sessions during the day, and then AA or NA meetings at night. Sometimes the meetings were brought into the facility by the people in AA/NA who like to work the 12 step. Other times, the van would take a group of us to a meeting outside the rehab.

AA is free. They take a collection from the members of the group to pay for the rent/use of the room from the churches or places they meet in. They also usually have a coffee pot full of coffee, as well as literature to take, and some to buy. Most people put a dollar, or whatever they have in their pockets. SOme people don't put anything in because they can't afford to chip in. That is okay.

I do not see anything negative about calling myself a recovering alcoholic, as that is a positive thing to me. I remember how lousy I felt whie in relapse. I felt hopeless, and full of fear all the time. Now, since I have not had a drink in over 18 months, I feel hopeful, and have joy in my life. I still have problems that I need to work on, but I am free from the desire to drink.

I would like to encourage you to learn about AA. Their website has been translated into a variety of languages. At the website you can read the 12 steps and see what we are talking about. They are very positive, and are used to bring about the emotional and spiritual thinking that can help a person change the way they deal with life, so that alcohol is not a choice they feel they have to turn to.

www.aa.org

Hugs,
Trish

 

[If Not For Grace]

i

have no plans to start drinking again

HYE Heard:

Failing to plan is planning to Fail?

another thing from the 12-step program is a thing called

"Just for Today"

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Just for today: I will try to live through this day only,
and not tackle all my problems at once.
I can do something for twelve hours that
would appall me if I felt that I had to
keep it up for a lifetime. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

Just for today: I will be happy. This
assume to be true what Abraham Lincoln said,
*Most folks are as happy as they make up their
minds to be.*
Just for today: I will adjust myself to what is,
and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will
Take my *luck* as it comes, and fit myself into it

Just for today:I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study.
I will not be a mental loafer.
I will read something that requires effort.
Thought and concentration.

Just for today: I will exercise my soul
in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn
and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it
will not count. I will do at least two things I
don't want to do-- just for exercise. I will
not show anyone that my feelings are hurt: they may
be hurt but today I will not show it.

Just for today: I will be agreeable. I will
look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice
low,be courteous,criticize not one bit. I won't find
fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate
anybody else but myself.

Just for today: I will have a plan.
I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.
I will save myself from two pests: Hurry and Indecision's.

Just for today: I will have a quiet half
hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour,
sometime I will try to get a better perspective of
my life.


Just for today: I will be un-afraid.
Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what
is beautiful,and to believe that as I give to the
world, so the world will give back to me.

[/FONT]

 

[MinisterChristian]

Thanks lillian for the 12 steps!