Can One Be Done Without The Other?

[PrairieGurl]

Can one forgive someone and yet not trust them?

And once you forgive someone...that doesn't mean you have to be 'best bud's', correct?

Or does this depend on the situation?

 

[LilLamb219]

You can forgive someone and still be cautious around that person. For example, if you know someone in the neighborhood who is released from jail is a child molester, you can forgive that person for what he has done wrong, but that doesn't mean you should send your children over to his house to play! It's about setting boundaries

Once you forgive someone, it really depends about being best buds. I mean, is the person a total flake anyway and someone you shouldn't be around?

You can forgive people without becoming a doormat.

 

[pete56]

Can one forgive someone and yet not trust them?

And once you forgive someone...that doesn't mean you have to be 'best bud's', correct?

Or does this depend on the situation?

Absolutely!

Forgiveness is an act of your will. You decide that you will forgive the person for causing you some harm. At that time you decide that any thought of vengeance is surrendered and you cease to seek to get recompense from the offender.

But that does not mean you have to like the offender, trust the offender or for that matter have anything at all to do with the offender. Of course if you are deliberately avoiding someone that offended you and you believe you have forgiven, you might want to examine your motives for avoiding them. That does not mean that you have to put yourself in harms way but you should not be actively avoiding all contact for all time if you have forgiven them.

So yes you can and should forgive and no that does not mean you have to be 'buddies' or begin to like them!

Pete

 

[Todd600RR]

Can one forgive someone and yet not trust them? Yes you can forgive someone and still not trust them. In some cases it may take a while to get that trust back or you may never trust them again.

And once you forgive someone...that doesn't mean you have to be 'best bud's', correct? Correct

Or does this depend on the situation? yes, I would say it all depends on what they have done.

Just remember above all that you should love everyone in the same way that Christ love us. But that doesn't mean that you have to be best buds to show them the love of Christ.

 

[PrairieGurl]

You can forgive someone and still be cautious around that person. For example, if you know someone in the neighborhood who is released from jail is a child molester, you can forgive that person for what he has done wrong, but that doesn't mean you should send your children over to his house to play! It's about setting boundaries

Once you forgive someone, it really depends about being best buds. I mean, is the person a total flake anyway and someone you shouldn't be around?

You can forgive people without becoming a doormat.

Not a flake...just a deceiver. This person also hangs out with some of my friends. I know if people allow God to change them...He will. I fear (not life/death kind of fear) for my friends that they also will be 'deceived'.

 

[CyberPaladin]

PrairreGirl it just all depends on what they did, while God tells us to forgive he doesn't tell us that we have to ingore past experiences and blindly trust everyone. The real thing you need to do is pray asking God for wisdom in this matter and then do a self examination as to whether the nature of offense justifies the mistrust or if you really haven't forgiven the person.

 

[LilLamb219]

Not a flake...just a deceiver. This person also hangs out with some of my friends. I know if people allow God to change them...He will. I fear (not life/death kind of fear) for my friends that they also will be 'deceived'.

Since you say he is a deceiver then you have every right to place up boundaries for your own protection. You don't need to hang out with that person but if for some reason he is a part of a group that you just happen to be with at an event or outing, I wouldn't purposely ignore him or try to be stuffy. Just be sweet

 

[Ewe]

Can one forgive someone and yet not trust them?

And once you forgive someone...that doesn't mean you have to be 'best bud's', correct?

Or does this depend on the situation?

It doesn't depend on the situation in one sense: because our love for ourselves is unconditional, love for others will be too if we are truly loving others as ourselves. However, you can distrust yourself immensely (or at least I certainly have) and do so out of concern for that very person (yourself), so it's not selfish or hypocritical to distrust others too. If you find yourself acting towards someone you distrust, or anyone, in way that you wouldn't to yourself, then you know you're not loving them as yourself. That's my rule of thumb.

 

[janny108]

Can one forgive someone and yet not trust them?

And once you forgive someone...that doesn't mean you have to be 'best bud's', correct?

Or does this depend on the situation?

That's the way I understand it.
Jan

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Can one forgive someone and yet not trust them?

And once you forgive someone...that doesn't mean you have to be 'best bud's', correct?

Or does this depend on the situation?

I absolutely believe that you can forgive someone and still not trust them. Trust is something that is earned, and after someone has betrayed that trust, it is never gonna instantly come back.

And just because you forgive someone does not mean that you do have to become their "best buds." We are allowed to protect ourselves, and putting ourselves in the position to be hurt again would be bad.

 

[Treasurer]

In my opinion, one of the biggest reason we forgive is to make our hearts right with God.

It isnt always about the other person (and not everyone asks for your forgiveness). When we harbor in our hearts unforgiveness, other things tend to follow. Like hatred or anger towards that person. These are not things we want living inside of us, and they have a tendency to spread into other area's of our lives.

So our goal is to make ourselves right before God.

From personal experience, it is difficult to totally forgive someone. I mean like what Jesus did. To totally wipe the slate clean as if what you did no longer exhisted. To be able to look at someone with brand new fresh eyes, and see them as a new creation.

I guess like what the apostles had to do with Paul. And they certainly didnt trust him right off the bat. They needed to see that Jesus did create a new person in Paul. And that it wasnt a ploy, and later turn around and kill them.

So part of forgiveness is the other person wanting to be forgiven. And then bearing the fruit of that new person.

These people that do change, and want forgiveness, should be forgiven. And the fruit of that forgiveness will make them trustworthy. Just like the apostle Paul.

So for what you are talking about here would be taking the bad feelings you have for this person out of your life. That way you stay pure in your faith.

And this person hasnt asked to be forgiven, although it is readily available to whomever seeks it, so how can one be forgiven if they dont seek it?

Just as we who want forgiveness, from whomever, must ask for it.

We dont have to best friends with a wicked person. But the day may come when they seek God with all their heart, and are forgiven. Then the wonderful gift of forgiveness can truely be recieved, and we all can rejoice in the work of the Lord. On that day, he will not only be forgiven, but will be a friend and brother in the family of Jesus Christ.

God Bless

 

[jsimms615]

Can one forgive someone and yet not trust them?

And once you forgive someone...that doesn't mean you have to be 'best bud's', correct?

Or does this depend on the situation?

Yes, you can forgive without trusting someone. You can also realize that being best buddies isn't going to happen.

 

[Nabuson]

Can one forgive someone and yet not trust them?

And once you forgive someone...that doesn't mean you have to be 'best bud's', correct?

Or does this depend on the situation?

Guess you know by now..the answer is "Of Course" and...just because you forgive them, don't mean they still don't have something to pay!! Look at David..God forgave him, yet gave him 3 choices of payback!! God Loves You!!!! Nabuson

 

[Nabuson]

PrairreGirl it just all depends on what they did, while God tells us to forgive he doesn't tell us that we have to ingore past experiences and blindly trust everyone. The real thing you need to do is pray asking God for wisdom in this matter and then do a self examination as to whether the nature of offense justifies the mistrust or if you really haven't forgiven the person.

Isn't it true we have to love them, but that don't mean we have to like them!! A neighbor I have here is crude and rude, and I don't like him, yet I have to love him = I am ready to help him in any emergency situation, and I would do anything in my power to help him...still I sure don't like him. If he came and asked me for a ride to work, I'd do it in an instant! Nabuson