Can I get an "Amen"?

[exitstageright]

Some wonder what has shaped my opinon when it comes to male-female relationships. I do not know who wrote this. I am CERTAIN that this is NOT just "A Black Thing". Now,allow me to make this perfectly clear.I DO NOT nor have I ever condoned physical violence towards women!!! This epitomizes my situation in the 1970's,when I was in my twenties:

You are absolutely right, Graig. I wonder if you are a Black man. How many times have I been in the situation of being talk-down-to, insulted & disrespected etc. etc, for trying to be for her what "every," single female will "say" that she wants from a man & how they want us to treat them? Truth-be-told, a kind man is a weak man, & unfortunately, this is (in particular) the mind-set of way-to-many Black females, whom are the only ones whom I have experience with. Like my last two relationships. Or even a friendship that I dissolved almost a year ago due to her constant mistreatment of me, even after she apologized to me. Incidentally, she-herself once vehemently & stridently conveyed to me that "every woman wants a man to put her in her place." Not to mention an older acquaintance of hers, old enough to be my mother whom, regarding my last relationship conveyed to me that "It failed because I failed to show her that I was the man." So with this said, let me now hear/read some dizzy-broad claim that I'm stereotyping & not all of ya'll are the same. The problem lies within the fact that females preach the importance of communication but don't practice it, expecting us to know exactly how much is enough. Expecting us to know just how much to treat you good & how much to treat you like fecal-matter. So when we go too far, they cry fowl, the cops get involved, we men get arrested, they're looked upon as the victims & we men as savage & brutal-animals. Which never would have happened had we not been provoked. Or at least, been communicated to, what was enough. Catch-22: When is this insanity ever going to stop?

Now,MY turn. I do not think that ANY of this insanity is ever going to stop before the Second Comming of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. SOMETIMES, I just get SO dissappointed in womenkind and in mankind.

 

[blackribbon]

This is the reason why our divorced rate is so high. Little girls grow up with a warped image of what makes a man "a man". We tend to be attracted to what we think is normal...and if our daddy figure isn't a man of honor, then we often have a really warped vision of what we want.

I am finding that there is also a warped vision of what is a "good woman". I think I have several men in my life who have considered me "weak" and "unintelligent" because I believe that a woman's ideal role in marriage is to be a helpmeet. And trust me, learning to step back and let someone else be in control did not come from a place of weakness...it required learning to trust both God and my husband on a very high level. They seem to think that women who live in the "look at me ... see me roar" mindset are stronger and better...until they realize that these women also tend to want to run the show and compete for the pants of the family.

Now mix these two expectations ... women who want to be in charge and want to be man-handled ...and men who think that this is normal (like mommy and daddy) ... and we have some pretty mixed up kids (and grown-ups) wandering around.

 

[exitstageright]

This is the reason why our divorced rate is so high. Little girls grow up with a warped image of what makes a man "a man". We tend to be attracted to what we think is normal...and if our daddy figure isn't a man of honor, then we often have a really warped vision of what we want.

I am finding that there is also a warped vision of what is a "good woman". I think I have several men in my life who have considered me "weak" and "unintelligent" because I believe that a woman's ideal role in marriage is to be a helpmeet. And trust me, learning to step back and let someone else be in control did not come from a place of weakness...it required learning to trust both God and my husband on a very high level. They seem to think that women who live in the "look at me ... see me roar" mindset are stronger and better...until they realize that these women also tend to want to run the show and compete for the pants of the family.

Now mix these two expectations ... women who want to be in charge and want to be man-handled ...and men who think that this is normal (like mommy and daddy) ... and we have some pretty mixed up kids (and grown-ups) wandering around.

AMEN,SISTER!!

 

[singlewv2011]

This is the reason why our divorced rate is so high. Little girls grow up with a warped image of what makes a man "a man". We tend to be attracted to what we think is normal...and if our daddy figure isn't a man of honor, then we often have a really warped vision of what we want.

Oi, so true. Have been rejected by women so many times who go back to their ex-boyfriends/husbands who are emotionally and physically abusive. It drives my codependency crazy.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Also consider both sexes sometimes "act" strong because they are truly afraid. Some women act all tough and stuff, but when the rubber meets the road there is no traction and it's sometimes the same for men.


When my husband was 18 he got put in jail because he assalted someone (that was bothering his sister). He told me he was so scared but you didn't dare act like it so instead he went in and fought anyone that looked at him crossways so he didn't come across as weak and end up some big guys girlfriend. It didn't matter if he could win the fight, just that after he did fight they left him alone cuz they knew he wasn't afraid.

So some people in real life act that way too. And exit you are right, women say they want communication but don't give it OR when the man DOES communicate they get mad cuz they don't like what he is communicatin'

 

[Goodman916]

I understood and appreciated all you shared. Godly foundations are soooooooo important!

 

[dayhiker]

Well, I've heard the these thoughts before. I'm aware they are common and its pretty obvious that there is a lot of truth in them. I'm really bad at reading those situations. The one step of disconnect, that one game throws me for a loop every time it happens. If the woman isn't being herself all the time, I totally miss what is going on. So I just have to be myself. If I can figure out how to respond, I do. If not I just stand there with this bewildering look on my face.