Can I be happy in heaven without my loved ones?

Michie

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Question: How can someone who makes it to heaven be happy knowing that a loved one is in hell?

— Barbara Allison, Charlottesville, Virginia

Answer: If a loved one is not in heaven, it is not as though God showed no mercy to them. He offered every necessary grace to be saved. And this fact fulfills mercy. As for justice, it is not simply about punishment. God’s justice is his fidelity to his promises. At the heart of his promise is his call — not his demand — to follow him. He knocks, he does not barge in (cf. Rv 3:20).

That some souls are not in heaven is because they preferred the darkness to the light of God’s truth. It is simply not true that everyone desires to go to heaven. This is because heaven is not a designer paradise on our own terms. Heaven is the fullness of God’s kingdom with all its truths and parameters. It is about what God loves and who God loves. It is about values and virtues, such as forgiveness, love of one’s enemies, chastity, the worship of God and a focus on him (not me and what I want).

But there are many who do not want some or all of the sorts of virtues and values just mentioned. They do not want to love their enemy, they want vengeance, not forgiveness, chastity is unwanted, and the worship of God is boring to many of them who often skip church services for just that reason. Such souls as these who have constituted themselves in a way that is averse to what heaven is, would not be happy in heaven. One of the saddest things about the souls in hell is that they would be more miserable in heaven. St. Thomas also teaches, “the damned will not repent of their sins directly, because consent in the malice of sin remains in them; but they will repent only indirectly, angry at the punishment inflicted on them for sin” (cf. Summa Theologica, Supplement, q 98, art. 2).

The saints in heaven surely know this and can rejoice in God’s justice and respect for the freedom of loved ones who sadly preferred the darkness to light.

Striking the breast

Continued below.
 

WarriorAngel

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"No human in Heaven can read the book of life."

IMHO - who is not there will not be remembered because there are no tears in Heaven.
Otherwise; grief would exist, therefore we cannot know [if they are not there] nor remember them.
As for them, they will be where their soul stays far from the Lord because it is His Mercy, for no one can stand in His Presence who desired not to be.
 
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seeker2122

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Question: How can someone who makes it to heaven be happy knowing that a loved one is in hell?

— Barbara Allison, Charlottesville, Virginia

Answer: If a loved one is not in heaven, it is not as though God showed no mercy to them. He offered every necessary grace to be saved. And this fact fulfills mercy. As for justice, it is not simply about punishment. God’s justice is his fidelity to his promises. At the heart of his promise is his call — not his demand — to follow him. He knocks, he does not barge in (cf. Rv 3:20).

That some souls are not in heaven is because they preferred the darkness to the light of God’s truth. It is simply not true that everyone desires to go to heaven. This is because heaven is not a designer paradise on our own terms. Heaven is the fullness of God’s kingdom with all its truths and parameters. It is about what God loves and who God loves. It is about values and virtues, such as forgiveness, love of one’s enemies, chastity, the worship of God and a focus on him (not me and what I want).

But there are many who do not want some or all of the sorts of virtues and values just mentioned. They do not want to love their enemy, they want vengeance, not forgiveness, chastity is unwanted, and the worship of God is boring to many of them who often skip church services for just that reason. Such souls as these who have constituted themselves in a way that is averse to what heaven is, would not be happy in heaven. One of the saddest things about the souls in hell is that they would be more miserable in heaven. St. Thomas also teaches, “the damned will not repent of their sins directly, because consent in the malice of sin remains in them; but they will repent only indirectly, angry at the punishment inflicted on them for sin” (cf. Summa Theologica, Supplement, q 98, art. 2).

The saints in heaven surely know this and can rejoice in God’s justice and respect for the freedom of loved ones who sadly preferred the darkness to light.

Striking the breast

Continued below.

This is what I was convicted of in my heart when I thought about the same question.

We have to remember, our earthly parents are not really our parents. They are simply souls. When we get to heaven and see them / meet them again, you will not see them as your mom and dad. You will see them as a child of God, as an eternal soul. They will see you the same way. In fact, when you see strangers you've never met before on earth, you will see them in exactly the same way with the same love. Meaning, you will love everyone equally regardless if they were known to you on earth or not, whether they functioned as you mother and father or brother and sister or just a stranger 5,000 miles away you never met. You will see them as your family and equally love them.

There will be no concept of "my mom" and "my dad" and family reunion of the Smith's and Johnson's. So in essence, everyone is your mother and father from earth and when you see them in heaven you will be happy.

Now is this what I desire? Not really lol. That's just what I was convicted ...almost like a vision.
What would I want or desire in my heaven? Haha, well of course, I imagine myself being maybe 12 again and living with my younger
mom and dad in their primes and healthy and us living together as family again. Obviously, this opens up a huge problem because
who or what would determine the right age to be in heaven and the right stage in life as you remembered to be eternal in heaven?
Maybe your mom or dad doesn't want to be 40 again but rather would love to be 12 themselves and live with their moms and dads and
siblings in their childhood memories and home they grew up in.
 
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narnia59

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This is what I was convicted of in my heart when I thought about the same question.

We have to remember, our earthly parents are not really our parents. They are simply souls. When we get to heaven and see them / meet them again, you will not see them as your mom and dad. You will see them as a child of God, as an eternal soul. They will see you the same way. In fact, when you see strangers you've never met before on earth, you will see them in exactly the same way with the same love. Meaning, you will love everyone equally regardless if they were known to you on earth or not, whether they functioned as you mother and father or brother and sister or just a stranger 5,000 miles away you never met. You will see them as your family and equally love them.

There will be no concept of "my mom" and "my dad" and family reunion of the Smith's and Johnson's. So in essence, everyone is your mother and father from earth and when you see them in heaven you will be happy.

Now is this what I desire? Not really lol. That's just what I was convicted ...almost like a vision.
What would I want or desire in my heaven? Haha, well of course, I imagine myself being maybe 12 again and living with my younger
mom and dad in their primes and healthy and us living together as family again. Obviously, this opens up a huge problem because
who or what would determine the right age to be in heaven and the right stage in life as you remembered to be eternal in heaven?
Maybe your mom or dad doesn't want to be 40 again but rather would love to be 12 themselves and live with their moms and dads and
siblings in their childhood memories and home they grew up in.
I think your "conviction" is entirely wrong. We will indeed know our families in heaven. We will no longer be "married" to our spouses because marriage will no longer exist, but we will recognize them as our spouse and as the parent to our children. We will recognize our parents and siblings and children. We do not lose who we are or have been in heaven. Who we are will be perfected in Christ, but not lost.
 
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