Can I ask a potentially offensive question?

[bkg]

Why do so many people use the phrase "but God would want me to be happy" or "I can't believe God would want me to be unhappy" as justification for decisions they may or may not be making in their lives?

I did an NT search on bible.com and found only the following references to the word "happy" in the NIV version...

John 13:17 - If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.

Acts 26:2 - I think myself happy, king Agrippa, because I shall answer for myself this day before thee touching all the things whereof I am accused of the Jews:

Romans 14:22 - Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.

James 5:11 - Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy.

1 Peter 3:14 - But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;

1 Peter 4:14 - If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified.

So... where does all of this Godly happiness that we talk about come from??? Where does that phrase... or where does that mindset come from? And should I even be asking on the divorce board?

 

[Flipper]

I don't think your question is offensive at all. It's a valid question.

I think God wants us to be happy - it's hard to be productive if we aren't. By productive, I mean doing things for Him. To me, that means that maybe the word "happy" needs to be better defined.

While a Job-complex at some time in our life would be beneficial in forcing us to put things in perspective, I can't see how having Job-like problems 24/7 at all times in our life accomplishes anything.

 

[bkg]

While a Job-complex at some time in our life would be beneficial in forcing us to put things in perspective, I can't see how having Job-like problems 24/7 at all times in our life accomplishes anything.

I think the key might be to define "at all times in our life"... An entire life spent in Job's situation cann bring Glory to God - if that person gladly accepted the circumstances and praised God through all of it.

And isn't that really what it's supposed to be all about?

I guess I find myself easily confused with people having a bad week and saying "God wants me to be happy - time to move on" verses a bad decade... verses a bad life...

 

[Flipper]

Perspective is definitely the key.

I guess what I'm saying is, how can a person understand that all Glory goes to God, when they have been stuck in a Job'esque rut for a good chunk of their life.

I also believe that God gave us brains for a reason. We have lots of choices in life to make - we should be responsible for those choices, and some times, we end up in those bad situations due to our choices. We can still make right choices to get out of the bad situations. Sometimes we make our choices dependant on the amount of work required to see the choice through.

 

[Jenna]

I think that God wants us to be happy all of the time.... in Him, regardless of our circumstances. If we make bad choices, we need to be willing to accept the consequences. I'm not pointing a finger at folks or anything, but I think that what God wants is more important than what *I* want, and THAT should determine my happiness. Isn't it all about pleasing God? Can you please God by pulling through adversity with your eyes and heart always on Him? Sure.

 

[desi]

Why do so many people use the phrase "but God would want me to be happy" or "I can't believe God would want me to be unhappy" as justification for decisions they may or may not be making in their lives?

I did an NT search on bible.com and found only the following references to the word "happy" in the NIV version...


So... where does all of this Godly happiness that we talk about come from??? Where does that phrase... or where does that mindset come from? And should I even be asking on the divorce board?

Many people are taught that God is a bunch of hugs and kisses. The idea God would allow pain is alien to them so when pain happens it must be unGodly so they flee from the source of such unGodlyness as the preacher says to do...

 

[SirKenin]

I think the answer is simple. People think of themselves. It's in their nature to put themselves first.. Sooo... They use God to justify their actions.

God WANTS me to be happy.. Therefore it's ok if I divorce.
God WANTS me to be happy.. Therefore He won't mind if I violate Biblical commands and remarry against Biblical instruction.

There's no Biblical principle that I'm aware of that says God WANTS us to be happy. What God wants is for us to serve and love Him unconditionally. What God wants is for us to obey His commandments and bring glory to His name.

What God as a just God could not want is for us to use Him to justify our actions of rebellion and sin.

 

[HeyBA12]

I kind of agree with drfeelgood. God wants us to be obedient in serving Him for His glory. Not because we are going to "be happy" as a result. It's very ironic though, how if we have that approach to life; God first, then I think we will "be happy" no matter what our circumstances as we "consider it all joy".

Earlier someone mentioned that a better definition of what it might mean to "be happy" was in order. I think the word is really joy, not happy. Joy is found often in the bible as we are to find joy in the Lord, not happiness. Happiness is focused on us; joy is focused outward, away from "me". Bes to be focused on God.

 

[bliz]

Some people feel that the word "blessed" encompasses what we think of when we say 'happy'. Try searching blessed and think happy and see if that makes sense. It gives a whole new meaning to happiness - far broader and deeper and less fun that what we usually think of.

I think most people say "God would want me to be happy." as expression of their own theology - the Gospel according to me. What they are usually saying is "I want to be happy." They are remaking God in their own image.

 

[E-beth]

I think sometimes people use the "God wants me to be happy" thing because they are unsure about whether or not their decisions are right. Like in the case of abuse. Would God want a woman to stay in a marriage where the husband beats her bloody all the time, even if he is faithful? (only as an example, not meant to derail the thread)

God WANTS us to be happy, sure, but that doesn't mean He will make us happy by giving us whatever we want.

 

[Flipper]

How about this scenerio (sadly, it's a true story).

Husband thinks marriage is great. He's a doting husband, doing everything a Godly husband is supposed to do. One day, Wife tells him that she doesn't want to be married anymore and promptly divorces him. There was no (known) infidelity. They live in a state where this can be done quickly, so there was no fighting the divorce.

Husband did nothing to deserve this. I have a hard time understanding why God would not want him to remarry if the right person comes along. Why would God not want him to be happy?

 

[bkg]

How about this scenerio (sadly, it's a true story).

And more common than you think...

Husband did nothing to deserve this. I have a hard time understanding why God would not want him to remarry if the right person comes along. Why would God not want him to be happy?

The original question, in this scenerio, would have been directed at the wife. Is she/did she say "I'm not happy in my marriage, God would want me to be happy, so I will divorce the husband"?

I think that is much different than a husband re-marrying given the non-believer left. Though admittedly, I still struggle with the entire idea of re-marriage.

bkg

 

[Flipper]

I never said she was a non-believer.

 

[selune]

But wouldn't her actions of leaving without any reason be those of someone who did not honor what God intended marriage to be in this case?

 

[SummersEvening]

I believe there is a way that he can marry again according to the bible. I think that it states that if he remarries someone while she is still single, then he has caused adultery (I find that quite hard to understand, but anyway........!!), however if she marries again before him (whilst he is still divorced), then and only then, he is free to remarry.

This rule is only for a couple where infidelity has not actually played a part in the reason for the divorce

 

[bkg]

I never said she was a non-believer.

I used that term generically... She obviously didn't believe in the marriage, regardless of her spiritual beliefs...

 

[Leanna]

Husband did nothing to deserve this. I have a hard time understanding why God would not want him to remarry if the right person comes along. Why would God not want him to be happy?

But what if instead of dating another girl he prayed and asked God for his wife back, and she came back? Then they were happy? I think sometimes people move on too quickly.

 

[SirKenin]

I believe there is a way that he can marry again according to the bible. I think that it states that if he remarries someone while she is still single, then he has caused adultery (I find that quite hard to understand, but anyway........!!), however if she marries again before him (whilst he is still divorced), then and only then, he is free to remarry.

This rule is only for a couple where infidelity has not actually played a part in the reason for the divorce

Where on earth is this coming from? I've never heard of such Biblical provisions in my study of this topic.

 

[charligirl]

Interesting. Happy comes from the word 'Hap' which means Chance, luck, come about by chance. So basically it is an emotion or feeling that comes because chance and luck 'happen' to make our circumstances good.... doesn't sound very biblical to me!

Joy, which is a state of inner being, a gift from God despite circumstances. I think God wants us to be JOYful, not neccessarily happy.

 

[Heatherondo]

Why do so many people use the phrase "but God would want me to be happy" or "I can't believe God would want me to be unhappy" as justification for decisions they may or may not be making in their lives?

I did an NT search on bible.com and found only the following references to the word "happy" in the NIV version...


So... where does all of this Godly happiness that we talk about come from??? Where does that phrase... or where does that mindset come from? And should I even be asking on the divorce board?

In therory, since God does want only what is best and healthiest for us (look at the things listed as sin in the bible, all of them have some serious potential to be harmful to us in some way), He wants the best for us, so in turn, He wants is happy, not miserable.