can anyone relate?

[SplendidTree]

I have had so much abuse for years and everytime I think I am past it I find I am not and don't want to admit it. Not only that but because of it and life I became codependent. Now I'm in a drastically new and great situation and can't stop feeling weird not being abused and controlled. It is almost like learning how to live al over again. I know this is a mess I'm just not good with words. Can anyone relate?

 

[Broken Hearted]

You know Im here for ya

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

I think you've got it right when you say it's like learning to live again. It's not our first nature to be abuse free.

 

[SplendidTree]

I think you've got it right when you say it's like learning to live again. It's not our first nature to be abuse free.

No it really is not. I am glad people here understand. You'd think when life gets good you'd accept it and not get upset. It just doesn't work like that sometimes.

 

[Colleen1]

No it really is not. I am glad people here understand. You'd think when life gets good you'd accept it and not get upset. It just doesn't work like that sometimes.

I hear what you are saying. It's not easy. In part, for myself feeling down was a habit I had to break. I can still feel down because I'm afraid to feel happy and have it gone in the blink of an eye because of some other hurt that comes up. Hurt like other abuse or a memory of past abuse. My home isn't abusive now but because I spoke out about some stuff there's been gossip, dishonesty and verbal retaliation. Not fun but very worth while to speak out in the right way. I find silence / denial enslaving and gives abuser power. It's important for me to stand up and say this happened and the shame isn't mine to bear. I always find the people who dish out ongoing hurt to be the hardest to forgive because of this issue. It makes it hard to move on and relax in life. This why emotional healing is so important to me... because the stronger I get the less these people bother me. I'll be praying. I don't mind listening.

 

[Lead_Me_to_Jesus]

I definitely can. I oftenhad trouble making eye contact with people, Im always waiting to be yelled at, or waiting to be told what to do. If Im not, I start becoming paranoid...that Im being tricked, or soon enough someone will hurt me.

Its quite tiring, but you are not alone hun.

 

[cweinstein]

I definitely can relate because I am going through the same thing. I left my abuser 2 yrs ago today, and yes, it is learning to live all over again. Learning to live by myself, to make my own decisions. I am half way through a transitional housing program where I am learning these things. It is very hard, but not impossible. You can do this, and I am here for you.

 

[Colleen1]

I definitely can relate because I am going through the same thing. I left my abuser 2 yrs ago today, and yes, it is learning to live all over again. Learning to live by myself, to make my own decisions. I am half way through a transitional housing program where I am learning these things. It is very hard, but not impossible. You can do this, and I am here for you.

Thanks for sharing. I'm very thankful for others sharing it's a great help. Take care.