Can a father do what a mother does?

[Daniel Peres]

More specifically, can a father do motherly things as well as a woman?

A few months after my wife died, my son (who has autism) wasn’t feeling well. I tried my best to make him feel better, but without success. I said to my son, “I don’t know what else to do.” My honest son replied, “If Mama was here, she would know what to do.” I began to question my abilities as a single parent.

 

[saved24]

All you can do is your best, with God's help. God will meet your needs and your son's needs. I pray for comfort for you and your son. May the Lord comfort you both. God bless.

 

[Diamond72]

More specifically, can a father do motherly things as well as a woman?

I was a single parent for 12 years. You just do the best you can do. I know lots of women that are single parents. The situation is exactly the same for them. It is as difficult for them to be a father as it is for me to be a mother. It was difficult that I could not do better than I did. But that is just a fact of life that single parent kids are going to have a more difficult life. They have to deal with abandonment and the other parent not being there for them.

 

[Fantine]

Your son is missing his Mom, as you both are, and you have my heartfelt sympathy. I don't think he is missing "mothering" so much as his mother, and she is and always will be irreplaceable in both your memories.

You and he have a very special bond in that you are the two people who were closest to her, and it would be helpful to talk about how much you miss her so that he knows that he is not alone in his terrible loss.

Henri Nouwen wrote a book called "A Shared Sorrow" about grieving. He is a well-known spiritual writer and you might find it helpful.

 

[Daniel Peres]

Your son is missing his Mom, as you both are, and you have my heartfelt sympathy. I don't think he is missing "mothering" so much as his mother, and she is and always will be irreplaceable in both your memories.

You and he have a very special bond in that you are the two people who were closest to her, and it would be helpful to talk about how much you miss her so that he knows that he is not alone in his terrible loss.

Henri Nouwen wrote a book called "A Shared Sorrow" about grieving. He is a well-known spiritual writer and you might find it helpful.

Thanks, I’ll look it up.

 

[BobRyan]

I was a single parent for 12 years. You just do the best you can do. I know lots of women that are single parents. The situation is exactly the same for them.

Good point. Both mother and father bring something to the table. And when the child loses one of them - that person then becomes aware of the "Gap" of the loss of something that used to be provided by the parent that is now gone. As you note - it happens with the loss of mothers and with the loss of fathers. It is part of the sadness of the tragedies encountered in this life.

 

[Daniel Peres]

I have to admit I think in general women are better health caregivers. When it comes to physicians (excluding surgeons) I trust women more. I believe they have a sixth sense. I even take make pets to a woman veterinarian.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

A father can't be a mother and a mother can't be a father.

Both will do the best they can to raise a child, and most do.
However, there will always be a little hole when one of the parents
is not around anymore.