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Can’t shake this fear

TommySoda

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So as I posted last week I have a plane fear and to get over it I made a vow to God that I wouldn’t do anything sexual for a year or so (most sinful thing at the time I guess I did) and I ended up breaking that months later. The problem is since I didn’t keep my end of the vow I’m scared to get on a plane. To make sure I completed the vow I prayed “please stop giving me chances to complete the vow after the third time I break it”. So it’s not like I can even complete the vow anymore. I’ve been a mess ever since then. The Bible discuses plenty of times how important vows are and the consequences of them and not mention times that sometimes repentance doesn’t work (Esau). I tried comforting myself that “he wouldn’t kill other people on the plane” but there are countless scriptures where innocent people where punished to punish the guilty so that’s a bust. I just can’t see God being merciful to me when half of the stuff he does in the Bible is judgment (usually killing for sins) and I did something worthy of that. Some advice would be great.
 

Bee_Brian

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I can't speak on behalf of God, but please listen to this...

The fact that you are concerned about His judgement is a great sign. It's admirable and I'm sure God appreciates it. It's a side effect of having an actual relationship with Him.
 
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Sabertooth

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Your understanding of "vows" is an artifact of your OCD and inconsistent with New Testament Christianity. If you want to get obsessed with something, read about the Four Spiritual Laws.

And take your medicine. (I am autistic with a possible touch of OCD.)
 
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devin553344

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So as I posted last week I have a plane fear and to get over it I made a vow to God that I wouldn’t do anything sexual for a year or so (most sinful thing at the time I guess I did) and I ended up breaking that months later. The problem is since I didn’t keep my end of the vow I’m scared to get on a plane. To make sure I completed the vow I prayed “please stop giving me chances to complete the vow after the third time I break it”. So it’s not like I can even complete the vow anymore. I’ve been a mess ever since then. The Bible discuses plenty of times how important vows are and the consequences of them and not mention times that sometimes repentance doesn’t work (Esau). I tried comforting myself that “he wouldn’t kill other people on the plane” but there are countless scriptures where innocent people where punished to punish the guilty so that’s a bust. I just can’t see God being merciful to me when half of the stuff he does in the Bible is judgment (usually killing for sins) and I did something worthy of that. Some advice would be great.

The new testament actually teaches repentance of sin, not judgement (killing) the sinner :John 8:7, Matthew 4:17. So I think you're OK. And the vow you made maybe a continuing vow that when you fail should be restarted, that's repentance. Fear is not from God: 1 John 4:18. Fear is probably from the devil and you can't really believe what the devil says, he lies and deceives people. Unless it's some type of medical condition that you need to see a professional about. It may be anxiety, which they have medicine for.

I hope that helps :)
 
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TommySoda

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Did you ask God not to kill you the first time you ever flew in a plane as to the vow you made? Do you also pray according to His will be done? What if His will is that you travel in an airplane sharing the Gospel with others for forty years before you go home to heaven? Just get on a plane to take a short trip with a friend, then return. Perfect love casts out fear. God loves His people. and wants them to trust Him to get life more abundantly. He wants you to have a good life, rejoice in Him, talk to Him as your Best Friend. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct thy paths.
Funny enough I made the vow for no reason because the trip was cancelled. I would like to go on a plane in theory but every time I think about it, I think about temporal punishment.
 
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Jeshu

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i used to make deals with God and got myself completely tangled up in my own unfaithfulness. It took me ages to learn not to make deals with God any longer.

Luckily He set me free in the end by allowing me to be wrong and repent - time and again - and also helped me enormously with my fears teaching me not to believe fearful thoughts any more but only those thoughts which had faith in God's loving truth.

Faith in God's love doesn't freak Judgement but learns to admire and love Him for His grace.
 
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Tharseo

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Vows bring no benefits but only some excitement and disappointment. I don't see why you think they are important. I personally do not vow, but I make commitments.

What is the difference? I make commitments that when I pursue a spiritual goal, whether to seek the fruit of the Spirit or to overcome my lust in the flesh, I do it in full commitment and are willing to pay any price. Anything. I will not stop even if it costs everything from me. Vows, on the other hand, usually emotional and not a thoughtful decision.

I also think that you might be focusing too much on the action itself, but not the lust inside you. This is a legalist thinking. Seek for the renewal of the mind, instead of just forbidding yourself to do the act.
 
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whereloveandmercymeet

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God is just, loving and merciful. He knows all your heart. So he knows your regret, your repentance, not just whether you’re ‘guilty’ of something in particular.

If you have OCD, until you can get to point where you don’t feel compelled to make promises and vows maybe try and make them more ‘human’ (as a friend of mine with OCD put it). My friend made promises not in the form of ‘I will/will not do X’ but ‘I will try with everything I have to do/not do X’. It helped her until she was in a much better place with her OCD. May/may not help you.
 
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Sabertooth

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Am I suppose to be fearful of any type of judgment for breaking this vow which is a sin?
Your emphasis on vows, making or breaking them, is a distraction from just living for Jesus. God rejects your vows. They. Are. Worthless.

What He does want from you is,
  • To love the Lord, your God, with all of your mind, strength, heart and soul; and
  • Love your neighbor as yourself.
 
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sea5763

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Matthew 5:33-37 says that you shouldn’t make oaths at all. Jesus says in this passage that anything more than yes or no comes from the evil one because you can’t change whether your hair naturally grows out black or white.

It means that making promises is a bad idea because you don’t have control over what happens. Man plans but God’s plans prevail Proverbs 19:21. So repent and then stop making promises because you can’t control everything.

As far as traveling and being scared to die. I’m very afraid of driving myself and when I first started I used to be so scared that I would just pray every time and mentally prepare to die. Maybe you can get by from not flying but driving is pretty much a requirement. I know it’s hard but someday everyone will die and you need to get over your fear of dying
 
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Tharseo

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Question: Am I suppose to be fearful of any type of judgment for breaking this vow which is a sin?

No, you should not fear God in this way, but in another way. It is not easy to explain, but I will try with a story in 2 Corinthians 7.

The Corinthians did something really bad before, but later they knew they did wrong. When Titus, a leader of the church came, they received Titus "with fear and trembling" (2 Corinthians 7:15).

Why? Is Titus a bomb that is going to explode anytime soon? No. Is Titus going to beat them up for their sin? No. They do so because Titus is a servant of God, and so they serve him carefully and not do anything that would makes him feel bad.

It is similar to what the fear of God means. It is not about worrying He is going to come to your house and burn you alive. It is an attitude that you truly make Christ your lord (and you his slave) in your life, serve him carefully, and avoid anything that do not please him. You do so not because you fear he will punish you, but because you really care his feelings. This way of thinking, I think, might get you out of the situation you are in.
 
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Southernscotty

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From gotquestions.org

Question: "How should a Christian view Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?"

Answer:
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) was formerly classified as an anxiety disorder but is now categorized separately by the American Psychological Association. OCD is characterized by obsessive thoughts that lead to compulsive behaviors. The thoughts are invasive and feel uncontrollable. Furthermore, the thoughts are anxiety-provoking, compelling the person to carry out certain behaviors to temporarily relieve the anxiety. Both the thoughts and compulsive routines interfere with daily life to varying degrees. Researchers have not found a cause for OCD, but they have identified parts of the brain that seem to be involved.

In popular culture, we sometimes use “OCD” to describe people with an A-type personality or who may have excessive worry. But it is important to distinguish true Obsessive Compulsive Disorder from a heightened affinity for organization or cleanliness and from chronic worry. OCD is a real mental illness and is most often helped through specific forms of therapy and medication. That being said, it is important for those suffering from OCD to look at what the Bible says about anxiety and the trustworthiness of God.

The root of OCD, or OCD-like behavior in those not actually suffering with the illness, is anxiety. While OCD is not mentioned by name in Scripture, the word worry occurs 36 times (NLT). The consistent warning is not to worry. Worry is sin because it ignores the power of prayer and obstructs faith (Philippians 4:6). Those who have never trusted Jesus as their Savior are slaves to sin such as worry and cannot free themselves (Romans 6:17–22). Believers who struggle with chronic worry have yet to understand their freedom in Jesus to have victory over sin (Ephesians 6:10–18). Once we have received Jesus as our Savior, we are a new creation in Christ. Christians must walk in the Spirit in order to put off their earthly nature and begin to think and act like Jesus (Colossians 3:1–10). This is also called having the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:15–16). With the mind of Christ, we can set our minds on things above (2 Corinthians 10:5; Colossians 3:1–3; Philippians 4:8). More importantly, as we grow in Christ, we begin to understand God’s sovereignty and His character. We come to trust Him more fully and can therefore give up our worries.

Those suffering with OCD can be greatly helped by recalling the truth of Scripture. When confronted with an invasive thought, they can combat it with truth. A firm foundation in God’s Word will prove a reliable base from which to evaluate thoughts and compulsions. Sufferers can also be helped by therapeutic protocols designed specifically for OCD, through counseling and the use of pharmaceuticals. There is much hope for those suffering with OCD. Often, it is a combination of personal Bible study, medication, and discipling with a biblical counselor that leads to freedom. Regardless of their troubling symptoms, those with OCD can rest in the love of God and rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to give them grace to walk the path before them (2 Corinthians 12:8–10).
 
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