Calvinists and Calvin

[Hammster]

Sorry fellow Calvinites. I have to confess our secret. There's no point in denying it any longer. Calvinists follow John Calvin.

We hold to everything he ever wrote. Most of us have the Institutes memorized. He was the holiest man to ever live. Holier than Paul, and just short of Jesus.

For those of us who are credo baptists, we secretly baptize our infant children.

We celebrate the death of Sevetus the heretic. We all wish we could have struck the match.

We are justified by faith in Calvin (or at least his teachings).

We are so devoted that we have no problem completely changing the meanings of words.

We eschew evangelism because everyone who is predestined will be saved anyway, even those who don't want to. And since there are some who want to be saved but can't because they aren't elect, there's no point in getting their heathen hopes up.

And the parties we have where we celebrate being elect? Epic. There's some debauchery, but what the heck. We have our Get out of Hell Free cards.

There's more, but I just want you to know that every terrible thing you believe about Calvinists TRUE.

 

[pshun2404]

You said it...

 

[Hammster]

You said it...

Confession is good for the soul. Calvinists don't need to confess, though.

 

[sdowney717]

Confession is good for the soul. Calvinists don't need to confess, though.

HaHa!

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

 

[AndOne]

Sorry fellow Calvinites. I have to confess our secret. There's no point in denying it any longer. Calvinists follow John Calvin.

We hold to everything he ever wrote. Most of us have the Institutes memorized. He was the holiest man to ever live. Holier than Paul, and just short of Jesus.

For those of us who are credo baptists, we secretly baptize our infant children.

We celebrate the death of Sevetus the heretic. We all wish we could have struck the match.

We are justified by faith in Calvin (or at least his teachings).

We are so devoted that we have no problem completely changing the meanings of words.

We eschew evangelism because everyone who is predestined will be saved anyway, even those who don't want to. And since there are some who want to be saved but can't because they aren't elect, there's no point in getting their heathen hopes up.

And the parties we have where we celebrate being elect? Epic. There's some debauchery, but what the heck. We have our Get out of Hell Free cards.

There's more, but I just want you to know that every terrible thing you believe about Calvinists TRUE.

I know you are being facetious but I think reading Calvin is definately worth the time. I found his writings on the doctrines of the Trinity and the inarnatation to be second to none. Oddly I've found better writings on predestination and election from other Reformers.

 

[stan1953]

I knew it...God told me.

 

[GratiaCorpusChristi]

I know you are being facetious but I think reading Calvin is definately worth the time. I found his writings on the doctrines of the Trinity and the inarnatation to be second to none. Oddly I've found better writings on predestination and election from other Reformers.

 

[Skala]

James Arminius said of Calvin:

"Next to the study of the Scriptures which I earnestly inculcate, I exhort my pupils to peruse Calvin’s Commentaries, which I extol in loftier terms than Helmich himself [a Dutch divine, 1551–1608]; for I affirm that he excels beyond comparison in the interpretation of Scripture, and that his commentaries ought to be more highly valued than all that is handed down to us by the library of the fathers; so that I acknowledge him to have possessed above most others, or rather above all other men, what may be called an eminent spirit of prophecy. His Institutes ought to be studied after the [Heidelberg] Catechism, as containing a fuller explanation, but with discrimination, like the writings of all men.”

 

[All Souls]

don't worry, we all suspected as much

 

[nobdysfool]

don't worry, we all suspected as much

Gullibility is not a virtue. It was obviously a bit of sarcasm, meant to draw out the gullible, which it seems to be doing, although I see no replies from the more earnest opponents of Calvinism.

 

[abacabb3]

The Scripture teaches to use language that is edifying to the church. I do not see how this thread promotes that and it's inflammatory nature is not becoming of someone in the position to moderate others.

My Christian $0.02 and with all due respect to everyone posting here.

 

[sdowney717]

The Scripture teaches to use language that is edifying to the church. I do not see how this thread promotes that and it's inflammatory nature is not becoming of someone in the position to moderate others.

My Christian $0.02 and with all due respect to everyone posting here.

OP, is just expressing an exasperation of how poor the understanding is of election and calling as Calvin taught according to the Truth. IMO, many people are deliberate distorters.

You know there are spiritual powers at work in opposition every where to God. Otherwise how can you explain all the twisting distortion of Scripture you read being constantly played out on the forums. It is like arguing with the devil speaking through people. Such persons always speak frowardly, contrary to the sound words of Jesus. They focus in on pet scriptures to distort Truths, ignoring the whole council of God. If your philosophy fails the test of the whole council of God, well your in error. But escaping that error, God must grant repentance after being captured by the devil to do his will.

 

[Hammster]

The Scripture teaches to use language that is edifying to the church. I do not see how this thread promotes that and it's inflammatory nature is not becoming of someone in the position to moderate others.

My Christian $0.02 and with all due respect to everyone posting here.

While there is some exaggeration, four of the points are ones that Calvinists have been accused of, and two are based on things said about Calvinists during my time here.

 

[drstevej]

Sorry fellow Calvinites. I have to confess our secret. There's no point in denying it any longer. Calvinists follow John Calvin.

We hold to everything he ever wrote. Most of us have the Institutes memorized. He was the holiest man to ever live. Holier than Paul, and just short of Jesus.

For those of us who are credo baptists, we secretly baptize our infant children.

We celebrate the death of Sevetus the heretic. We all wish we could have struck the match.

We are justified by faith in Calvin (or at least his teachings).

We are so devoted that we have no problem completely changing the meanings of words.

We eschew evangelism because everyone who is predestined will be saved anyway, even those who don't want to. And since there are some who want to be saved but can't because they aren't elect, there's no point in getting their heathen hopes up.

And the parties we have where we celebrate being elect? Epic. There's some debauchery, but what the heck. We have our Get out of Hell Free cards.

There's more, but I just want you to know that every terrible thing you believe about Calvinists TRUE.

One more.

>> When Calvinists play cards they use a deck with these Joker cards

 

[Hammster]

^^^ :d

 

[nobdysfool]

The Scripture teaches to use language that is edifying to the church. I do not see how this thread promotes that and it's inflammatory nature is not becoming of someone in the position to moderate others.

My Christian $0.02 and with all due respect to everyone posting here.

I agree. Would to God that all here were of that same mind. sometimes it is necessary to hold a mirror up, however....

 

[Skala]

OP, is just expressing an exasperation of how poor the understanding is of election and calling as Calvin taught according to the Truth. IMO, many people are deliberate distorters.

You know there are spiritual powers at work in opposition every where to God. Otherwise how can you explain all the twisting distortion of Scripture you read being constantly played out on the forums. It is like arguing with the devil speaking through people. Such persons always speak frowardly, contrary to the sound words of Jesus. They focus in on pet scriptures to distort Truths, ignoring the whole council of God. If your philosophy fails the test of the whole council of God, well your in error. But escaping that error, God must grant repentance after being captured by the devil to do his will.

It seems like you would need to do some footwork and actually prove that Calvin was misinterpreting the Bible and that his understanding of election was wrong.

Merely asserting it isn't good enough.

 

[sdowney717]

It seems like you would need to do some footwork and actually prove that Calvin was misinterpreting the Bible and that his understanding of election was wrong.

Merely asserting it isn't good enough.

Exactly, but opponents frequently fall back on feelings, emotions, how they think God is, but not according to what God says in His whole council to men of himself and how he deals with mankind.

Every cultic or private understanding of scripture focuses in on some distortion of truth. emphasizing one at the expense of another. And totally ignoring some. An easily obvious example is avoiding the warnings of those who commit sexual immorality, homosexuality, etc... churches now are ordaining homosexuals to be God's ministers?

Paul warns the Ephesian elders that he did not fail to preach and teach to them the whole council of God.
He said he was therefore innocent of their blood, they were fully taught all God's truths.

 

[abacabb3]

While there is some exaggeration, four of the points are ones that Calvinists have been accused of, and two are based on things said about Calvinists during my time here.

I don't disagree with the sentiment, I just feel that we as Christians are to be held to a higher standard, and I appreciate it if you let me know when I am not meeting them. I am not immune to it.

 

[stan1953]

LOL....I guess the self deprecation is not working aye Hammy?