Calling

[rogsr]

Hello everyone,

I will try and make this as brief as possible.

I am going to school to become an episcopal priest. I have a long way to go but I know in my heart that this is the road for me. The priest at my church knows of my intentions and seems to be supportive. However, I am at the point where I need counseling on my calling, but he is never around and I don't really think he cares all that much about it. I feel like I'm not being taken seriously. I have encountered this in the past when talking to other priests. I don't understand what the deal is with it. Maybe they think I'm stupid, or to young. I know I'm not stupid for various reasons, like a 3.8 accum. GPA and a 145 IQ; and even though I am only 23 I have been through more mud then most people go through in a lifetime. He knows these things also, but still has an aire of non-caring. He may be too busy, or maybe he doesn't know what to do with me since he himself is a new priest. But still all of this is making me feel...out of the loop. I don't feel part of the 'body' in the sense of what a church is supposed to be about, yet I know what I am doing is right. The thought has crossed my mind that perhaps I am supposed to be isolated so that I can learn things on my own. However, things have been that way since the begining for me. I became a real christian while I was in the marines and was more or less annonymous in any church I attended. But now, something about this is rubbing me the wrong way and I'm not sure what to do. I pray on it and He tells me that I should just stay alone until the right time. When is that? When is the right time? I feel very alone in this journey right now.

 

[bliz]

Hi Rogsr!

This has been my experience in my own life and I have heard others speak of this as well. Sometimes when God is getting ready to move us, literally or in other ways, He first makes us restless or dissatisified with our current situation.

We went through this with a church, an Episcopal church in fact, that we had loved and been quite active in and where our kids had been baptised. I began to feel distant, unconnected and like I did not quite belong anymore. I said nothing, but one day my husband told me the same thing! Maybe we should start looking around... and out of the blue, there was an Episcopal church being planted in our backyard! We would not have considered the move had we still felt connected at the first church. He changed our hearts so that we were ready for His plan.

WARNING: sermon illustration approaching!

When eagles build their nests the bottom layers of the eyrie are larger branches, but also thorny, prickly materials. They hold on to the layers of leaves and grass that will then be added to make it a warm and soft nest. When it's time for the eaglets to move out on their own, after haveing learned to fly, the mother eagle will start to tear apart the nest, getting rid of the grass and leaves and soft materials, leaving the thorns and prickers. She makes the nest inhospitable so they'll be willing to move on.

If I am reading your post correctly, that could be what God is doing with you. You've always been "out of the loop" but now that doesn't feel so good. You are longing to feel connected, but that does not appear to be happening with this priest and congregation, for whatever reason.

Continue praying, and if I were you, I'd start thinking about a yard sale and packing. (Though it could very well be a move that does not require relocation.) You will know the right time when you see it and it may be coming soon. Welcome to the adventure that's right around the corner!

Are you in seminary now?

 

[BarbB]

Just what I was thinking, bliz. The Episcopal Church I used to attend in Florida was super supportive of members who had a calling and went to seminary! Maybe it's time to look around and see what other churches are available and what counselling they might have for you!

God bless you!

 

[rogsr]

Much thanks to you both, I will make that a serious consideration. I have had a wonderful walk with Jesus thus far, more or less by myself. I have discovered truths on my own that I later learned were doctrinal beliefs. I remember a time when the Trinity confused me a great deal, but I pondered, prayed, and meditated on it, just me and Jesus and it eventually came to me like it had been in my heart all along..Like I just re-discovered it. I now understand that all Truth is like that for us all. All Truth comes to us as a whole with the Holy Spirit and we have the privilage of discovering it for the rest of our lives. It truly is a journey that requires no relocation, because it takes place from within my soul. It is time for me to turn inward again, like in the begining.

Thanks again,
Sean

 

[Rafael]

Sometimes solitude is exactly what God wants. Being alone with God and His Word can set you up for the next move as Bliz pointed out. When Moses, who had once been one of Pharoah's adopted sons, was tending sheep for Jethro for forty years before going to be God's man to set His people free, I'll bet he had a few thoughts like yours. Or Joseph in jail - it took times of solitude and testing before they were ready to go forth as God's minister.
Whatever God has in store for your life, wait upon Him.
God bless, and you have my prayers....

Isa 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Ps 37:9 For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.

 

[desi]

Sometimes people are so into what is immediately pressing that they miss the needs of others in the periphery. Your priest may be busy 'putting out fires' keeping his church in order. It might be best to make an appointment with him to let him know where you're at in a tactful way before you move on.

 

[Unix]

I don't think you're age should be any issue, there are many advantages of not being old when starting the studies.

 

[rogsr]

You're correct! However, the same thing happened to Jesus with the Pharisees. And we all see how wrong they all were

No worries though, I don't sweat anbody but the Lord.

 

[rogsr]

By the way, thank you!

 

[bliz]

There is an Episcopal seminary down the road from me and it is filled with second career folks seeking to learn more, for ordination or edification. Second career folk bring so much to ministry! One of the best pastors I ever had had been an engineer for 20 years. I have gotten rather gun shy of pastors who have never had any kind of job beside ministry.

I was visiting a church one time when it was announced that the pastor would be taking a sabbatical to study working. It had become clear to him that he did not understand the lives of working men and women - working side-by-side with non-Christians, faciing the same tasks daily. Why he didn't take that sabbatical to go and get a job and learn first person was beyond me!

 

[rogsr]

bliz,
I think that you are very perceptive in being weary of priests with no 'real' life expierience. It doesn't mean that they don't know what's going on in peoples lives nessesarily, but it helps to have expierienced things first hand.

I think that my life history is actually one of my biggest strong points. I had a really rough childhood and did time in the marines so there really isn't anything that someone could come to me with that I haven't either dealt with first hand or witnessed.

Thank you for adding to this conversation...keep adding