Called to be single

[HappyChristian98]

Ok here's the story:

I'm turning 30 soon and have been a Christian for 7 years but only dedicated to Jesus for the last 2-3 years.
I have been praying for a partner since I turned 25 and have had anything but.

When I first started praying five years ago, I wasn't praying like a Christian...because I wasn't praying in the name of Jesus (I didn't have the relationship with the Father). I was kind of praying to the 'universe' so to speak.

During these "prayers" I was getting the feeling that I was called to be single. I was comfortable with the idea because I believed in reincarnation and thought, "If I don't get it in this lifetime, I'll get it in the next" but I also felt a lot of sadness, melancholy, loneliness.

After about 2 years, I decided to commit to Jesus and I have committed to him for life.
When I prayed to the Father, I still felt like He wants me to be single but I was resisting it. At times I would accept it but I never felt peace about it, it was always sad, melancholy, loneliness.

Basically I told the Father the summer of 2008 that I WANT TO GET MARRIED because:
1. I don't like being single
2. I can't control my lust

So I didn't feel He was angry at me, I actually felt like He told me He will help me in that department, and He has because He has led me to some wonderful, Christian-based books about choosing the right partner, etc.

But a part of me still feels guilty that this is MY will, not HIS. I feel kind of sad that maybe God never wanted me to get married and I'm doing something that is not in His will.

When I pray about it, I never sense He is angry or disapproving, but I do sense this is all my choice - not His.

This kind of freaks me out because I'm worried I will marry a guy who will later end up cheating on me (yes, some Christians guys DO that) only later to face a God saying "I told you so."

Please help without the sarcasm, thanks.

 

[JSGuitarist]

I think the first thing I would do is make sure that this is of God, because from what you say, you don't like someone who's called to be single.I think I'm going to step out and ask, but are you sure this is God? It seems to me that the call to be single is more the exception to the rule, a rather unique gift. You sound fearful of doing the wrong thing.

My advice? Test the spirits. Make sure this is God. At a first-hand reading of this, I'm not really sure this is of God. I'm a bit concerned because God seems to be getting mad at you for things that he designed humans to desire. The truth is we are sexual beings, made to love and be loved and to reproduce. I'm also kind of left wondering if you're called to be single then why he would pull you towards books on finding the right person.

Most advice I've heard would say that if you are scared about the idea of being single the rest of your life, you most likely don't have the gift. That would make sense, as it took a very unique person in any part of the Bible to be single, such as Jeremiah or Paul, whose ministry simply did not allow time for a wife, or people who served as eunuchs. I don't think it's something to feel guilty over though, because it is a natural thing. I'll probably write a bit later.

 

[cowboysfan1970]

I don't think you are called to be celibate and I'll explain why. You want to be married. If you had no desire at all to be married or have sex then I would say that you have been called to celibacy. For years I thought that I had also been called to celibacy but a few years ago I realized that I had been wrong all along. Celibates don't fight lonliness or sexual desires where I was.

 

[bsd13]

I don't think you are called to be celibate and I'll explain why. You want to be married. If you had no desire at all to be married or have sex then I would say that you have been called to celibacy. For years I thought that I had also been called to celibacy but a few years ago I realized that I had been wrong all along. Celibates don't fight lonliness or sexual desires where I was.

True, true.

I think the problem is that God has someone specific in mind for you and He's not going to let you pick and chose anyone you feel like. He's making an executive decision and you'll be put with the one He has decided on for you. Until that happens though you'll be struggling because you're flesh wants one thing, but God will give you what He sees fit to give you.

 

[toastface_grillah]

Great posts so far. To add to them, unfortunately, some Christian guys do cheat. God willing, yours won't (something to pray about), but if he does, I don't think God would be waiting with His arms crossed and a "Told you so" on His lips. He would be there, arms wide open, to support you. Don't let that stop you from praying, and waiting, for God's best.