"Called" or "feeling led" to something

[DruryGirl]

Hi, all, I'm functioning poorly lately and I need to
talk.

Does anyone else have a problem/obsession with
being "called" or "feeling led" to something? I've
been this way before I even began to suspect it
was a bunch of OCD, since age 17 or so.

I think it stems from being involved with a church
group that is heavily into that scope of things. I
can't remember a time when a major decision was
made that didn't involve these factors.

(Please note: This is not intended to be a
forum of criticism for this group or necessarily
even this way of thinking. This group actually
remains some of my best--and only--friends
right now.)


Anyway, I started to get obsessed with this as
a teen (which I now suspect was OCD). I was
having trouble landing a job at 17 because I'd
"feel led" away from that workplace.

The worst one was college. I woke up suddenly
one morning when I was 18 and the name of a
particular college came into my head (one I had
read about). I kept praying about this school
and was 100% convinced over time that I was
"led." At first I didn't even like the school, but I
really warmed up to the idea because I wanted
to leave my rural area and go to an out-of-state
school increasingly badly.

So I applied to this school and got in, although I
knew it was quite expensive. But I had full faith
that God was going to provide for me, especially
since He had "called" me.

You've probably guessed how the story ends by
now. The financial aid didn't work out, instead
of going away to school I got stuck at a local
community college while stile living in my rural
area (where I still live today 4 yrs later). I was
crushed! (And also afraid at first that God was
going to "judge" me for not attending the school!)

Needless to say, this issue has gone a long way
with me and has affected other areas as well.
It relates to some of my current obsessions that
are making it impossible for me to focus on my
job right now, but I keep going.

Thoughts? Insights? Comments? I hope that
this sad little tale helps someone else feel better.
Thanks.

 

[Jayangel81]

Im sorry things didnt work out as you wanted, did you think to yourself maybe for whatever reason it may be God wants you to stay where you are? Are you unhappy at this school? wait it out and maybe see what happens.

I cant exactly give you any great advice on feelings, as with my personal experiance with OCD is that Feelings are misled and very decieving, i think its great that you tried and you were following what you thought God was leading you to. I dont see why God would judge you, for trying to be obediant to what you thought was His Will.

One thing i think is God trying to teach me about this is..Stop guessing what his will is and just go with the flow, let the Holy spirit guide you.

I for one obsess "God do you want me to do this, maybe that" the more i obsess the more i feel led the wrong way as my feelings tend to be just that decieved.(plus im paranoid at times) This is my personal experiance, and im still learning.

Not sure if this helps, perhaps another person will chime in. I will pray for you

God Bless

brother in Christ

 

[Jayangel81]

.

 

[QUannie]

I struggle with that very much.
It usually involves a ministry, and scares me very bad.I'm scared to go do this ministry and also afraid to disobey God. I read somewhere fear is never a good motivator for action!
It is very hard sometimes.....my husband is my voice of reality.
I learned in counceling to make a list of why this thought is true and why this thought is not true and you have to write facts, not feelings. this usually difuses my anxiety, cause it is usually obvious it is an obsession thought. I also read in a list someone wrote the ten commandments for scrupolosity, one of them said if you are uncertain whether you are supposed to do something, then your probabley not supposed to do{I paraphrased it}
Anyway, I am actually in the struggle right now so sorry I could not be better help, i can understand though!!
Q

 

[OptimisticSmile]

I would suggest going through the bible study workbook Experiencing God : knowing and doing the will of God by Henry Blackaby

 

[DruryGirl]

JayAngel, the college story is actually an old one. It all pretty much went
down when I was 18-19. I'm 22 now and happy with the (different) community
college I wound up attending. My graduation is imminent (May) so it's not a
big thing now. I no longer believe God will "condemn" me for not going to
the other school. I suspect it was just OCD confusing all matters. Thank
you very much for your prayers, and glad to tell you all worked out fine
with the college situation.

Quannie, you are actually a help because it feels good to know that we're
not alone. I've got some thoughts that are pretty obviously obsessions and
not fact-based. Some of the "logic" makes no sense at all! Said a prayer
for you.

Optimistic Smile, never heard of that book but will look it up. Thanks.

 

[QUannie]

DruryGirl,
Thank you so much for your prayers.....
They are greatly appreciated!!!!
Your right, it is a relief to know we are not the only ones!!!
Q