Bury Me (song)

[Starkindler201]

Bury Me



(Male singer)

It's cold tonight as the sun fades away

The shades of my heart turn to shadows of grey

My life a denial of the right that You gave

And in my hopeless condition Your voice fades away



(Pre-chorus)

But throughout my life I heard You call out my name

You saw my actions and deeds and You loved me the same



(Female singer)

A child with broken dreams, slowly slips into the dark

A love he never knew bearing off his broken heart

Lord how could I slip so far astray

To take my own son's life away



(Pre-chorus)

But You saw my plight and you called out my name

Lord please look not upon me, my past is my shame





(Chorus)

But come to me now, Lord please show me how

You came into a man

Lord I cant understand

Every deed and thought and word

A thorn to pierce the one who heard

A mercy so great it can hardly be true

So please bury me now, my past dead for you!



(Bridge)

My past no longer mine! Your truth alive in me!

I will praise You with this song, and sing with holy certainty

That the love I've come to know comes from the Only Way

And through Your holy grace… my night turns into da-ay!



(Transpose up a key)



(Chorus) (Change?)

So come to me now, Lord please show me how

You came to die for me

Lord I can't hardly see

Every song that's ringing true

Could never catch the depth of you

A King who takes on all my sin…

So please bury me now, let me live once again!

 

[Starkindler201]

No comments? :/ lol.

 

[Jenafer]

Hello Starkindler,

I can't comment on song lyrics, as I have no musical ability to draw upon. Yet I liked nearly all the words and would only change a few.. Yes, it is a lot of work to write in rhyme, and it is hard to create unforced lines sometimes. It might sound better to work in a set pattern of rhyme, instead of being random here and there (use a rhyme dictionary). I would like to hear this song sung to listen for harmonies. Have you tried to sing the song and listen to it on a tape recorder or such? I saw a reasonable priced computer program for song writers in a store recently.

When I was younger I worked with a really tough old editor, who had a university education (she even knew latin). I will never forget when she gave me the red pen treatment for using a singular rhyme ending with a plural rhyme ending.. mountain - fountains. Yes, I had to change it to.. mountian - fountain. Yet the teachings of that tough old editor were a blessing, as I learnt so much from the cranky old thing.

If I worked with your lyrics in a poetry sense, then I would work with a tape recorder. I would listen to the words for ease of delivery. I would also look closely at each line to see if you are making your message clear. And last of all, I would arrange the words in a set pattern of rhyme, if using rhyme. Then again there is poetry where a poet uses rhyme within the lines themselves.. worlds within worlds.

As I said before, I have no musical ability and can only comment from a poetry point of view. I admire the effort you put into this piece of writng, and would encourage to keep on writing.. and learning.

 

[Starkindler201]

Where doesnt it rhyme?

 

[Starkindler201]

Oh and also... I put the poem version of this song in the Poetry and Prose section.