Broken

[dayknee]

<sighs>
my heart is so broken
Im so tired...and just weary...my life has fallen apart (for those who know) and tomorrow is my birthday...blah which means another year older..
Next year I REFUSE to be in this same situation..of course whoever is reading this and doesnt know my situation will find this rather confusing..
Im sitting here listening to my daughter sing and Im so blessed by her voice and her amazing love for God..
and I hear my son talking to her and making her laugh..my son who is my little supporter..with all his hugs and love..he's so amazing..Im so blessed by both of them..
I guess my thread is about nothing really other than feeling heart broken over the changes that have happened in my life..and wondering where the Lord is leading me..Im not so confident right now.

 

[brokenman]

I am right with you in this heart brokenness...my birthday being in 20 days, I don't know what to look forward to for the next year.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I hope there is some brightness in your birthday today. There are so many of us hurting for various reasons. I know it will get better and if I put God first it will all work out ok. I'm hoping for huge blessings and that he will bless me with a husband who will be everything that I need in a man and I will look back and say, "I'm so glad I didn't stay in that last relationship. I would've been missing so much!" (I've been divorced for years, so I'm talking about dating relationship.)

 

[SuzQ]

It will get better as "this too, shall pass".

Whenever I get too down, I always repeat to myself & meditate on Jeremiah 29:11. Also, it's comforting to read in Ecclesiastes how there is a season for everything.

Each winter, a tree looks dead, but miraculously starts sprouting new, green leaves EVERY spring. Look around this time of year, and think of how God loves you even MORE than those trees, birds, and everything else he cares for.

For further "nuggets", feel free to read my blog for a little encouragement. There are people who care, and know EXACTLY what you're going through. The "enemy" wants nothing more than to convince us we're the only ones who feel bad from time to time. His ultimate goal is to destroy us. Fight him with God's Word, even if you don't "feel" like it. Jesus Himself did this, starving & tired, when He was tempted in the desert by Satan.

Rent "Facing the Giants", new out on DVD. Fantastic, inspiring, uplifting movie. What you think about, you bring about, so get control of your thought patterns & stop Satan in his tracks (Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer - great book). Go for a walk, change your scenery, count your blessings! You're loved. God bless, ~Sue

 

[tellywax]

hello friend, you sound so kind.god always care for his children,he never allowe us to die in hard times or even when we lost all hopes still he will be there for us and encourage us.But is really very hard for us to remenber that he is the alfer and Omega,author and finisher of our hopes in life.so like us remenber him in all time becouse he loves us.all i need is a nice christian woman from europ becouse i need someone by my side email :tkellywax@yahoo.com

 

[dayknee]

Thank you guys so much for responding..
I did have a better day yesterday..
Im still struggling so much..I always seem to start to let my guard down with my husband and ALWAYS something else happens..and it just makes me more determinted in what I have to do..
I just need to really depend on the Lord right now..
sometimes even for a christian, thats so hard..I want to be in charge/control of my life and my future but, I know I cant do it alone
<tears> Thank you all for your kind words.they mean so much

 

[TealTuesday]

I would take you to dinner if you lived by me! I am in NM.
You'll get through this!! You will!!!

Birthday Blessings!!!

 

[Enacielle777]

I saw your post on the daily list. I hope it is okay to post here even though I am married. Life is hard at times. We all face difficulties. When we are Christians, sometimes I believe it is even harder to face tough ones like being heartbroken because our outlets are different. If we weren't Christian, we could go out and get drunk or high or do other things we might regret in the morning but would enjoy doing to not think about our pain. As Christians, we feel our pain and our brokenness and we don't have a real way to get rid of the pain, other than talking it through. I don't even want to not be a Christian again. As much as I hate experiencing my pain and living it, I would rather be cognizant of it than ignore it with other things. Please know that there are many out there who understand.

I am sorry that you are sad on your birthday. However, I am happy to see you resolve that next year you will not be in the same place. Bless you. I pray that you will commit your ways to the Lord and he will bless them 100 fold. I pray that you will experience His comfort and joy. May Jesus become the lover of your soul in a way that will help you not to feel so heartbroken. May He fill the void in the areas of your life in which you feel empty right now. May He provide for all of your needs and desires. Bless you. If you need a friend, please feel free to PM me.

~Shell

 

[TealTuesday]

What a sweet post for her!!!! ^

 

[dayknee]

Thank you guys so much for talking to me..I really appreciate it so much..all of this that I go thru in my marriage is the most hardest thing ive ever dealt with...I am really trying not to be mad at God for all this...some days its so hard..
thank you for your prayers and talk..
God Bless

 

[Enacielle777]

Romans 8:18-19 says:

&#8220;For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest expectation of the creature waits for the manifestation of the sons of God.&#8221;

Just wanted to share this. I tink you will know what it really means to you.

Blessings!
~Shell

 

[dayknee]

thanks for the verse 777
I woke up today feeling very stressed out.
I woke up with the heart of a dead person
I feel no love for my husband
I only have so much hurt and anger that Im dealing with, but it's all left me so numb..
I feel like the only people who can get a response from me are my children.
They love me so much
I hurt when they hurt
I hurt when my son hurts and misses his dad
I hurt when he says I kicked him out
I hurt when he hugs me and says he's sorry for saying that..
I know this is all so hard on my children
But what example do I set by allowing him to walk over me and not setting boundries with the porn and the lying..
I worry so much about my babies ( 10 and 15)
about how they view marriage
and how they see me being.
I cant help but desire a divorce, so I can go on with my life and stop hurting..
I cant help but feel kicked in the gut every single time he comes over to see the kids, and is so nice to me, and all my gut tells me is that he is doing this so he can get back home..knowing he hasnt changed..and likely for a time he will be this way, until maybe a year or two down the road then things return to "his" normal..
I am weary
I look for reasons to divorce him..my sister says Im trying to justify divorcing him, but Im really not..im trying to decide if this porn thing is enough of a reason, along with the lying.
idk
<tears>
just a bad day for me I guess