Im at my wits end with a friendship. All I ever get from her lately is yea we will hang out this day and that day and I'll call you at such and such a time and we will get together and hang. it never happens, im getting irritated by this. Ive been there for her through most of her college life and all her struggles and frusterations. all this comes at a time where approximately 6 weeks ago she kept saying thanks for being my friend, i appreciate this friendship, blah blah blah. this really hurts, my best friend keeps lieing to me. I want to confront her but I really dont know how to without coming off like a jerk. so how or what do i do?
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Broken promises
- Thread starter 72_Chev_Truck
- Start date
Christ Aficionado
Active Member
I am assuming from your post that you only consider her as a friend? Maybe she has a boyfriend that she is spending time with?
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why do you assume so quickly that im interested. im not trust me, i would never be interested after all ive been through with her. she had a boyfriend before and she even acknowledges that she keeps saying what she doesnt mean.
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You are saying she agrees to meet you and then either cancels last moment (or does not even let you know, that is no show). And this does not happen only once, but several times - a regular pattern. Though I notice the word "lately" - which I interpret as in the beginning of your friendship things were different. There must be a reason.72_Chev_Truck said:
Since you emphasize in your other post that you are only friends with her and only interested in a friendship with her - I see no reason why you can't talk to her about that. If somebody would cancel appointments, plans again and again, I would not feel at all like a jerk to approach the person and point this out to him/her. I would feel justified.
Somehow I have a feeling it's all about "six weeks ago she kept saying thanks for being my friend" ... famous way of going on a distance, making sure the other knows it's friends only. Did "lately" start six weeks ago? Did she change six weeks ago?
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Christ Aficionado
Active Member
I think setting up a meeting somewhere with her face to face (not over the phone or email) would be a good idea. Communicate (not assertive or angry) to her in a relaxed manner and quiet atmosphere that you feel hurt that she is ignoring you and ask her what the reason is. Ask her if you have done or said anything to hurt her, or make her feel uncomfortable. It is quite possible you did, but you didn't realize it, which might be a reason she is avoiding you all of a sudden.
By communicating to her like this you are standing up for your rights while showing respect for her. You are saying that you are both important and equal.
By communicating to her like this you are standing up for your rights while showing respect for her. You are saying that you are both important and equal.
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no change in her that I know of, I used to want to date her about 2 years back but i realized thatour personalities are much too different to make anything happen and I have other love interests i want to pursue. i have no interest at all to be anything more then friends with this girl, but now that i think of it
forget what i said about 6 weeks, this seems to be a recurring thing for much longer then that. i think its time to step up to the plate and kindly let her know whats going on
forget what i said about 6 weeks, this seems to be a recurring thing for much longer then that. i think its time to step up to the plate and kindly let her know whats going on
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boilerblues
Well-Known Member
Sounds like maybe she's concerned about her feelings for your or what your feelings towards her may be. Friendships with the opposite sex are always hard, if you get very close it's inevitable that at some point in time someone will ask "I wonder if....." and asking that question can really change a lot in the relationship. It sounds like talking with her would be a wise thing to do, but it may be something where you have to let the relationship go.
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Stanfi
Senior Veteran
Sounds like she has a case of "idle chatter". Saying things that sound good, but never following through with them. Know a few people like this myself, and it's not fun, especially when you depend on them to do what they said.
Maybe you just need to have a good heart to heart talk with her, and make here realize that this idle chatter is hurtful to people. She may not realize, how hurtful these ilde words can be. More than likely she hurts others and just not yourself. She just needs to realize, if she doesn't plan on doing something, and not willing to commit to what she has said. Then by all means, don't say it.
Maybe you just need to have a good heart to heart talk with her, and make here realize that this idle chatter is hurtful to people. She may not realize, how hurtful these ilde words can be. More than likely she hurts others and just not yourself. She just needs to realize, if she doesn't plan on doing something, and not willing to commit to what she has said. Then by all means, don't say it.
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She needs some time to herself. Give her space. No calls. No meetings. No talks. It's that simple fellas.
Leave her alone for now. She might be thinking about stuff and she doesn't need to get hassled, nagged, or be given any advice. She just wants some time on her own.
Leave her alone for now. She might be thinking about stuff and she doesn't need to get hassled, nagged, or be given any advice. She just wants some time on her own.
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Wow, I like the C.S.Lewis quote and so true. If you have any relationship you are destined to be hurt. No one is perfect, but I once heard if you love someone you'll
tell them the truth. It might hurt, but you shall know the truth and the truth shall
set you free. Be honest. They either stick around or you will see the true heart
come out....
tell them the truth. It might hurt, but you shall know the truth and the truth shall
set you free. Be honest. They either stick around or you will see the true heart
come out....
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sweetlambofgod
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I havnt talked to her since before christmas, usually we used to talk about every other day. im trying to decide what to say to her when I do talk to her. im still so frusterated and its been a tough week at work and ive been working alone in the shop so i talk to myself a lot and can see myself bringing anger upon her and i dont want to do that but i want to make her realize that she needs to follow through with her plans once she sets them.
triptychr yea shes still in college.
triptychr yea shes still in college.
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