Breaking Up

[ardeur]

I broke up with someone a few months ago. I'm wondering if, for future reference, I must reveal to him every reason for the break up. What if some of my reasons have to do with flaws in his character?

In my previous (and first) relationship, I was learning things about him that troubled me. After consulting God, family, and friends about further pursuing the relationship, I was strongly convicted to cut it off. Now I had practical reasons for breaking it off (I won't name them), as well as personal things that could cause him a lot of hurt to hear from me. I decided to keep it short and quick - I only brought up my practical reasons. Now he is still urging me to reconsider him in the future, whereas if he had known the full extent of my reasons for the break-up, he would understand that I see no future between the two of us.

Should people give every reason for their wish to break it off?

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Should people give every reason for their wish to break it off?

No.

I don't think you're obligated in any way. I didn't give my ExGF all the reasons,

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

No, I don't think so either.

However, if it's something that needs to be brought to his attention, perhaps it's wise to mention something?? I don't know as every situation is different. But I don't believe that you break it all down for him and explain every reason. Hey, at least you gave him a reason instead of the very cliche, "It's not you, it's me."

 

[KeilCoppes]

You might try taking off your date hat. The real question is - Will knowing the things about himself help him? Are you capable of being constructive there?

In general you shouldn't have to say everything about everything, but the question is what your duty as a Christian is. I know it's not easy, but those are the principles. And you don't have to be alone in it. Get counsel in your church.