Breaking up...

[KristianJ]

I sort of thought this up after reading how tennis couple Kim Clijsters and Lleyton Hewitt split up a couple of days ago - and Kim had ended it via a telephone call. Breaking up with someone can be hard for both parties, but what are the most or least appropriate ways of ending a relationship, be them from past experiences or stories you've heard before. Of course I have no reason for finding this stuff out; since I'm in a very strong relationship that I hope will lead to marriage...just interested in finding out a bit more about you all and how your journeys in past relationships have shaped where you are now.

 

[FatBurger]

Best way:
Simply sitting down and talking about it, making sure you can talk it out.

Worst way I've heard of:
Emailing them a Powerpoint presentation with the reasons why.

Worst way that's happened to me:
Suddenly one day refusing to talk to them, and not giving any reason until 6 years later.

 

[KristianJ]

I've only been in one dating relationship before I met Danie. Back in high school I went out with a girl and we had this habit of dropping silly letters in each other's lockers. After a month I got a letter which pretty much simply said "You're dumped". Even though I had sort of figured out about a week beforehand that the relationship wasn't what God wanted for me, I was pretty annoyed at the manner of which it happened, and I didn't speak to her again.

 

[California Dreamin']

I was talking to my boyfriend (i was 14 then) on the phone and he said he would never break up with me. we got off the phone and went on icq and he broke up with me.

 

[Breetai]

Worst way I've heard of:
Emailing them a Powerpoint presentation with the reasons why.

That's the best idea that I've ever heard! I love it!

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

I think fat Burger summed it up pretty good, the best way of doing it would be to sit the person down and explain to them why in a respectable manner.

The worse way it happened to me?
It was with a guy I dated practically all through high school. For 2 years. Anyways he called me up one morning, and told me after 2 years of dating (and about 5 of friendship) that he didnt want to go out with me anymore. I was furious, and told him there was no way he was going to be a coward and do it on the phone, that he better get his ass over to my house and do it in person.
Then proceeded to sob, and have my heart broken when he got there. It took me (no joke) 2 years to get over him and the breakup.

And I Have really only dated 2 guys since. One was a LDR that last for about 2 months we did that over MSN lol.... it wasnt a big deal because it was sometihng we both wanted. And the other guy, was a complete a-hole and I should have done it sooner. But I broke up with him because I finally saw (after many months of friends telling me so) how horrible he treated me.

So yeah... there ya have it. Candice's dating life 101...

 

[Living4Him03]

Let's see...one guy dumped me just before Valentines Day over the phone. I asked what our plans for that weekend were going to be, excited to hear what he may have planned, and instead he broke up with me.

Another got upset when I tried to break up with him and made this big deal of it. He said he got sick after I tried to break up with him and somehow convinced me we should be together. A few weeks later he broke up with me because he decided he liked redheads better. Go figure.

Another just stopped talking to me for awhile...got engaged...decided not to contact me about it or to break things off. So, I concluded that we were no longer together after not hearing from him or having him return calls, etc. for a month or so. He then called to say he was engaged and had been busy for awhile and missed my friendship. It was one of those WHAT? moments. He eventually apologized for that...two years later!


I think the best way to break things off is to just talk with them, go out to dinner or go take a walk together and explain how you arrived at the conclusion that you should no longer be together. Give them your reasons and don't give them any hope whatsoever that there is a chance the two of you could get back together.

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Let's see...one guy dumped me just before Valentines Day over the phone. I asked what our plans for that weekend were going to be, excited to hear what he may have planned, and instead he broke up with me.

Another got upset when I tried to break up with him and made this big deal of it. He said he got sick after I tried to break up with him and somehow convinced me we should be together. A few weeks later he broke up with me because he decided he liked redheads better. Go figure.

Another just stopped talking to me for awhile...got engaged...decided not to contact me about it or to break things off. So, I concluded that we were no longer together after not hearing from him or having him return calls, etc. for a month or so. He then called to say he was engaged and had been busy for awhile and missed my friendship. It was one of those WHAT? moments. He eventually apologized for that...two years later!

Oh my goodness Guys can be such jerks sometimes

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I've broken up with every boyfriend/starting to date person I've been with, bar 1 (the first boyfriend - I've had 3 boyfriends, 2 'potentials'), so maybe that's why I've always had fairly mature breakups?

Always talked through it fairly well, and even though it still hurt (even when I did the break up), at least it was talked through.

I remember Sex and the City (it was a 'flippping remote' show I'd occasionally browse thru a couple years back), they had a guy who broke up with someone on a post-it note. I know someone who had that done to them, and another one who had an email - that one she never got to talk to him again as he'd blocked her number, and got all her emails returned with 'wrong address'... hmm... issues?

I think as you get older and mature up a bit, breakups become more and more healthy in the way they are orchestrated.

I've got this book called 'Define the Relationship' and it is really good talking about how to have the serious relationship discussions you might need to have in order to see if your relationship needs to progress further and if you're on the same pathway, or if you should end it at that point. It then goes through what to do, after a decision to break up has happened. Has some very healthy pointers.

Sasch

 

[SoldierofChrist]

And... so can girls!

 

[flounder7786]

VIA EMAIL or IM is the worst...when you dont actually HEAR them say it...its also a cheap attempt to make breaking up easy...