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Breaking the ice

mojoboy31

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Imagine you're shy, and you're trying to get to know someone reserved and quiet as well. Your interactions are always short, and hardly ever go beyond the usual, "how's it going?" generic small talk vibe.

How do you break the ice to start having actual conversations and actually get to know someone?
 

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Imagine you're shy, and you're trying to get to know someone reserved and quiet as well. Your interactions are always short, and hardly ever go beyond the usual, "how's it going?" generic small talk vibe.

How do you break the ice to start having actual conversations and actually get to know someone?
*Karate Kid music plays in the background*

JoyfulTalkativeFritillarybutterfly-size_restricted.gif


Rememba focus Daniel-san.

Honestly it can be hard to strike up a conversation synthetically, the best conversations happen organically. As far as the shyness etc.... really it just comes down to stepping outside of your comfort zone and just talking to people.

IMO the best way to get to know someone is to just be around them/time and being yourself.
 
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Citanul

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Imagine you're shy,

I don't need to imagine. :)

That's why I don't have any advice, and I'm just going to keep an eye on this thread in the hope that I'll get some tips.
 
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Chinchilla

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Imagine you're shy, and you're trying to get to know someone reserved and quiet as well. Your interactions are always short, and hardly ever go beyond the usual, "how's it going?" generic small talk vibe.

How do you break the ice to start having actual conversations and actually get to know someone?

Ask her if she would like to be shy together with you , always attack from the side you are strong so use that to your adventage .
 
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Saucy

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I'm extremely shy and struggle with this, but what helps me is realizing that other people are okay with you talking to them. This is especially true if you're with a group or at a party, etc. They are there purposely to fellowship and meet new people. If you don't have a friend to break the ice for you, then it's really one of those things we have to just...do.
 
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Kevin Snow

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If you have more hobbies and interests then it's easier to talk since you would have more to talk about. In short work on being a more interesting person. Workout, play a sport, write music, do math, learn physics, brush up on politics, learn the bible more intimately. All these things are great things to talk about.
 
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brinny

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Ask her if she would like to be shy together with you , always attack from the side you are strong so use that to your adventage .

This is hilarious and brilliant.

You not only ease your own angst, but hers as well.

Wall disintegrates.

Well done.
 
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Swords&Sunflowers

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Imagine you're shy, and you're trying to get to know someone reserved and quiet as well. Your interactions are always short, and hardly ever go beyond the usual, "how's it going?" generic small talk vibe.

How do you break the ice to start having actual conversations and actually get to know someone?

lol there's this guy at work who is super quiet, I'm quiet as usual, but didn't want him to feel awkward around me, so i joked a lot around him and really corny jokes, the types like what do you call a cow with no legs types of jokes, and just acknowledging his presence when i see him "Hi Nick, how's it going?!" and i do this overexagerated hand movement or I try to find ways to make him do something so I can thank him :p like to reach something that's too high or like I say something like "Geez, you are so tall, can you share some of your height?!". Did this a couple of times, over time, he got more open and it was easier to talk to him and make longer conversations. Now when he sees me he says hi and i say something corny back. When he eats at breakroom, i ask him questions about life, pause a little. Then ask another random question. But yeah lots of corny jokes and I had to do weird antiques...now we both are chill...no longer strangers but good acquantances lol.
 
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kittysbecute

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IMO the best way to get to know someone is to just be around them/time and being yourself.
This.
And finding something in common or interesting to talk about can help as well. Even if it’s interesting small talk. ^_^
 
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ImAllLikeOkWaitWat

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Make fart noises with your mouth. This never fails trust me. Probably one of the top 10 ice breakers of all time actually. This will make the other person more comfortable with being themselves if they see you willing to let yourself look silly others will be more willing to open up.
 
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mojoboy31

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I don't need to imagine. :)

That's why I don't have any advice, and I'm just going to keep an eye on this thread in the hope that I'll get some tips.
we could share a list of crash and burn stories, give everyone a 'what not to do list xD

Ask her if she would like to be shy together with you , always attack from the side you are strong so use that to your adventage .
That would seem a tad odd of a question to ask someone while they're stocking shelves at Wal-Mart. Lol

I'm extremely shy and struggle with this, but what helps me is realizing that other people are okay with you talking to them. This is especially true if you're with a group or at a party, etc. They are there purposely to fellowship and meet new people. If you don't have a friend to break the ice for you, then it's really one of those things we have to just...do.
In a socializing group setting, you're right. My situation tho, she's working, and guarded cause she has to fend off a pack of low-life hound dogs. I need to "break the ice", so I can get her into a low-pressure social environment like a group activity or something.

lol there's this guy at work who is super quiet, I'm quiet as usual, but didn't want him to feel awkward around me, so i joked a lot around him and really corny jokes, the types like what do you call a cow with no legs types of jokes, and just acknowledging his presence when i see him "Hi Nick, how's it going?!" and i do this overexagerated hand movement or I try to find ways to make him do something so I can thank him :p like to reach something that's too high or like I say something like "Geez, you are so tall, can you share some of your height?!". Did this a couple of times, over time, he got more open and it was easier to talk to him and make longer conversations. Now when he sees me he says hi and i say something corny back. When he eats at breakroom, i ask him questions about life, pause a little. Then ask another random question. But yeah lots of corny jokes and I had to do weird antiques...now we both are chill...no longer strangers but good acquantances lol.
You sound a lot like me. So far, my interactions with this girl have consisted of giving her lens wipes even tho she doesn't wear any glasses, not even sunglasses, and then asking her to help me find stuff I don't really need help finding ,or even have at home, just for an excuse to talk to her, and an excuse to thank her for the help, which she always replies, "I didn't do anything ."

Make fart noises with your mouth. This never fails trust me. Probably one of the top 10 ice breakers of all time actually. This will make the other person more comfortable with being themselves if they see you willing to let yourself look silly others will be more willing to open up.
Brilliant. We'll call it Plan A.
 
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Swords&Sunflowers

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we could share a list of crash and burn stories, give everyone a 'what not to do list xD

That would seem a tad odd of a question to ask someone while they're stocking shelves at Wal-Mart. Lol

In a socializing group setting, you're right. My situation tho, she's working, and guarded cause she has to fend off a pack of low-life hound dogs. I need to "break the ice", so I can get her into a low-pressure social environment like a group activity or something.

You sound a lot like me. So far, my interactions with this girl have consisted of giving her lens wipes even tho she doesn't wear any glasses, not even sunglasses, and then asking her to help me find stuff I don't really need help finding ,or even have at home, just for an excuse to talk to her, and an excuse to thank her for the help, which she always replies, "I didn't do anything ."

Brilliant. We'll call it Plan A.

Waiiitttt!!!! Just don't do it all the time! Once is enough! Trust me on this! You want to be funny but not too funny! lol i meant the fart noises...
 
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ImAllLikeOkWaitWat

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Waiiitttt!!!! Just don't do it all the time! Once is enough! Trust me on this! You want to be funny but not too funny! lol i meant the fart noises...

Works every time:rolleyes:
 
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Swords&Sunflowers

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Works every time:rolleyes:

naw, once only lol doing it over and over again might make the lady think you're not a serious guy. Trust me, i have lady friends, first impressions are super important. But feel free to that once you acquire the ring on her finger lol then she cannot escape :tearsofjoy:
 
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ImAllLikeOkWaitWat

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naw, once only lol doing it over and over again might make the lady think you're not a serious guy. Trust me, i have lady friends, first impressions are super important. But feel free to that once you acquire the ring on her finger lol then she cannot escape :tearsofjoy:

Oh yeah I don't see the point of doing it over and over. Once the ice is broken theres no going back and nothing to gain from breaking ice thats well broked.:rolleyes:
 
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Swords&Sunflowers

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Oh yeah I don't see the point of doing it over and over. Once the ice is broken theres no going back and nothing to gain from breaking ice thats well broked.:rolleyes:

lol it's gonna be like slushie ice hahaahh
 
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ImAllLikeOkWaitWat

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lol it's gonna be like slushie ice hahaahh

Yeah and you gotta make sure since you can only do it once, to make it one of those long drawn out ones that sound really quiet at first then gets really loud in the middle then at the end just a few tiny pauses in between like its running out of gas then at that point if you still have her attention you're in lol. This is definitely great to do when you've tried all you could and its at that point where you need to take a risk if you will have any chance at getting her attention. Give it a shot @mojoboy31 and make sure to update us on your new relationship success;)
 
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