Breaking Abstinence

[Caedmon]

I live with a protestant relative, and they said that we're having fried steak tonight. Well today is a Lenten Friday, and you're supposed to abstain from "meat," but this my relative is cooking steak for supper, and I don't want to dishonor them by not eating the meal they prepare. Am I sinning badly? I hope not.

 

[seebs]

You're just giving up Lent for Lent, is all.

I don't know the formal theological position, but it seems to me that making a personal sacrifice for others would not be a grave sin. If you believe it would hurt this person's feelings for you to reject the steak...

I guess the counter-argument would be whether you should be taking this as a chance to talk about your faith, but... My guess is your Protestant relative would not find it edifying, from what you've said in the past.

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

You do not have full freedom- therefore you cannot be sinning mortally-- maybe you could say an extra Divine Mercy Chaplet or something??

 

[JeffreyLloyd]

You know it's a sin and do it anyway?

Yeah, that's bad.

 

[St_Joseph_Cupertino]

St Francis of Assisi used to take on guest's rules when he stayed with them, even if it interfered with his being Vegeterian or his fasting etc.

Just do another type of pennance, like a Rosary or something I'm sure you'll be fine. You are still upholding the ideas of Lent.

Peace in Christ

 

[Rising_Suns]

I would still uphold the fast though to allow the opportunity to express your faith to others. I think if you are poilte about it and explain to him the reasons why, he would understand and not be offended.

 

[Lotar]

Am I the only one who thought this topic was about something else?

 

[Letalis]

I agree with Rising Suns post. I'm sure they'd understand if you just told them why.

 

[Annabel Lee]

Am I the only one who thought this topic was about something else?

LOL!
I would have probably thought the same exact thing if it wasn't for all the already existing topics on abstaining from meat.

 

[JeffreyLloyd]

Am I the only one who thought this topic was about something else?

No, your not. That's what I thought, when I first saw it too

 

[Paul S]

I live with a protestant relative, and they said that we're having fried steak tonight. Well today is a Lenten Friday, and you're supposed to abstain from "meat," but this my relative is cooking steak for supper, and I don't want to dishonor them by not eating the meal they prepare. Am I sinning badly? I hope not.

If it would really offend someone to not eat their food, you're allowed to eat the meat. However, I'd explain to them why you don't eat meat on Fridays and ask them if you could eat something else. Hopefully your relative will respect your religious practices.

 

[ThereseOfLisieux]

Well, I'm sure that dinner is over, so this reply is a little late, but here is my two cents anyway,

I think it is O.K. for the reasons you stated, as long as this isn't a situation that occurs every Friday. You could choose another day to abstain.

BTW what did you decide?

 

[Caedmon]

Well, I'm sure that dinner is over, so this reply is a little late, but here is my two cents anyway,

I think it is O.K. for the reasons you stated, as long as this isn't a situation that occurs every Friday. You could choose another day to abstain.

BTW what did you decide?

I went ahead and ate the dinner that they had already decided on making. This relative is relatively unknowledgable about Catholic practice and can be critical of the Church once in a bluemoon. This relative had also just gotten off work, and sometimes they can be a little temperamental. I am very nonconfrontational and timid most of the time, and it is hard for me to talk about my faith. I am virtually by myself out here. And now if I explain this abstaining from meat on Fridays of Lent, I'm afraid they'll throw hypocrisy back in my face ("Well you didn't have a problem eating meat last Friday!") and/or think that I think I'm too good for their meals or something. Take into consideration that they provide me with room and board, so I am in no position to make demands.

Anyway, I could have eaten a second helping of dinner, which I often do, and I could have eaten some of my favorite icecream, but I didn't. Peanut butter filled chocolate candies with fat chocolate ribbons/swirls in vanilla icecream. Oh well, I think it's ok. It's the spirit you're supposed to be worried about, not the letter of the law.

 

[isshinwhat]

You do not have full freedom- therefore you cannot be sinning mortally--

Not wanting to offend a relative does not take freedom of choice away.

That being said:

The obligation to do penance and to observe the appointed penitential seasons is a serious one. Those whose work or health would be impaired are excused from fast and abstinence. Individual conscience should decide proper cause for excuse. A more serious reason is required to excuse oneself from Ash Wednesday and Good Friday fast and abstinence.

http://www.drvc.org/chancery/lent.html

 

[D'Ann]

Greetings Caedmon,

I went ahead and ate the dinner that they had already decided on making. This relative is relatively unknowledgable about Catholic practice and can be critical of the Church once in a bluemoon. This relative had also just gotten off work, and sometimes they can be a little temperamental. I am very nonconfrontational and timid most of the time, and it is hard for me to talk about my faith. I am virtually by myself out here. And now if I explain this abstaining from meat on Fridays of Lent, I'm afraid they'll throw hypocrisy back in my face ("Well you didn't have a problem eating meat last Friday!") and/or think that I think I'm too good for their meals or something. Take into consideration that they provide me with room and board, so I am in no position to make demands.

Anyway, I could have eaten a second helping of dinner, which I often do, and I could have eaten some of my favorite icecream, but I didn't. Peanut butter filled chocolate candies with fat chocolate ribbons/swirls in vanilla icecream. Oh well, I think it's ok. It's the spirit you're supposed to be worried about, not the letter of the law.

I don't know what I would of done if I was in your shoes. If you get a chance later on, talk to a Father and see what he advises. I think it is not the letter of the law, but what is truly in one's heart that matters.

God's Peace,

D'Ann

 

[Wiffey]

Hi!

FWIW, Among Orthodox (we fast a LOT) we are encouraged not to keep the fast if it involves offending a host. We are supposed to respect the hospitality shown to us, if offered. We consider it less sinful to break the fast than to possibly cause insult.

Now that the dinner is over, you can maybe find a tactful way to say how much you appreciate the hospitality, then discuss Lenten fasting and request (if it is not a bother) that you be excused from eating meat on Fridays for the rest of Lent. If you approach your relatives respectfully, then maybe next Friday they'll surprise you with catfish or something...

 

[isshinwhat]

...we are encouraged not to keep the fast if it involves offending a host.

"Individual conscience should decide proper cause for excuse." Granted it is not an official Vatican document, still I agree that interior disposition has a LOT to do with culpability in such cases.

 

[AMDG]

Am I the only one who thought this topic was about something else?

Okay, you and Jeffrey Lloyd (and anyone else who had that idea) go wash your brains out with soap and pay attention! For weeks now it seems like every other topic has been about Lent--Easter practices--why we fast/abstain--what both are--and what we are giving up for the Lenten season.

 

[Caedmon]

Okay, you and Jeffrey Lloyd (and anyone else who had that idea) go wash your brains out with soap and pay attention!

 

[tjboie2001]

I was taught that it is only a mortal sin if you break these 3 things which are

Grave matter, full knowledge and full consent.