• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

Break up with a Non-christian

connectadot18

Active Member
Sep 7, 2006
301
10
North Carolina
✟22,987.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Hey Everyone, i need some advice, I just broke with my boyfriend that I had been in a relationship with for almost 2 years. I am soo deeply in love with him still but after heavy conviction for a couple of months, I realized that it just wasn't really okay to be with him. After reading the scripture 2 Corinthians 6:14 and even studying the subject more.

I have been heart broken since.I Feel like I have lost a large part of me. What hurts more is that I know that it hurt him so bad. I hope he knows thats the only reason that I broke up with him and nothing more. He was a wonderful boyfriend. He did sooo much for me and now it seems like this is how I repay him? I feel like he probably hates me and hates christianity even more. He said a couple of things to me to make me realize that he really did not think highly of Christianity. I miss him so much and I just can't seem to fill the void. I am constantly thinking about him. I wake up thinking about him sometimes and I cry, I've been crying myself to sleep because I feel like I hurt him so Much.

I know that I need to grow in God and by knowing that I am doing something that is not pleasing in his eyes, my relationship with God would stay at a stand still. The problem is I don't know how to seek God, I miss the guy that i was in a relationship with and I just don't want to get over him. I am dwelling on him because I love him and I still want to be with him, Do I have to try to get over him? How do I let God take control of my life? help me...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Restoredsoul

sherri

Well-Known Member
Mar 20, 2004
2,389
170
✟18,437.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Well christianity is about love. First and foremost. Loving God with all your heart, mind and soul and treating others the way we'd wish them to treat us. It's also about willing to pursue those two things regardless of what it costs us.

You did right to break up with your b/f if he isn't a christian. If you put God first in your life he'll bless you don't worry. Many christians have had to break up with non-christians in their pasts to put God and their faith first or to reject potential b/f , g/f's because they wern't christians. And many haven't and have lost their faith as a result. It's a test many christians face and many fail.

:hug: Just hang in there and pray - and get others to pray for you (and really make an effort to connect yourself to christian friends). You'll undoubtedly be feeling pretty messed up for a while but you will get through it eventually.

Between God and someone you love who isn't for God is probably one of the toughest decisions you'll ever make. But once you've made it and gotten through to the other side, you'll be so grateful that you made the right decision.

God bless and adding a prayer for you :prayer:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Restoredsoul
Upvote 0

straightedge

Active Member
Mar 10, 2004
388
7
Davie, Florida
✟564.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Politics
CA-Conservatives
Well, same situation here last week for me. Breaking up with a girl who claims to be a Christian, but her works and beliefs about the Bible, where not. I only known her for a month, so I couldn't imagine for 2 years with ur bf. But, it was I had to do and told her straight up what I believed in as a Christian. Now, the ball is in her court and leave it to God in prayer. Probablly won't see her anymore, unless she changes her ways, because I see hope in her. We'll see.

I just didn't feel like faking a relationship with her and knowing what I was doing, wasn't right in God's eyes.
 
Upvote 0

angels23

Active Member
Nov 20, 2006
237
16
41
United Arab Emirates
✟15,423.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Single
Hey Everyone, i need some advice, I just broke with my boyfriend that I had been in a relationship with for almost 2 years. I am soo deeply in love with him still but after heavy conviction for a couple of months, I realized that it just wasn't really okay to be with him. After reading the scripture 2 Corinthians 6:14 and even studying the subject more.

I have been heart broken since.I Feel like I have lost a large part of me. What hurts more is that I know that it hurt him so bad. I hope he knows thats the only reason that I broke up with him and nothing more. He was a wonderful boyfriend. He did sooo much for me and now it seems like this is how I repay him? I feel like he probably hates me and hates christianity even more. He said a couple of things to me to make me realize that he really did not think highly of Christianity. I miss him so much and I just can't seem to fill the void. I am constantly thinking about him. I wake up thinking about him sometimes and I cry, I've been crying myself to sleep because I feel like I hurt him so Much.

I know that I need to grow in God and by knowing that I am doing something that is not pleasing in his eyes, my relationship with God would stay at a stand still. The problem is I don't know how to seek God, I miss the guy that i was in a relationship with and I just don't want to get over him. I am dwelling on him because I love him and I still want to be with him, Do I have to try to get over him? How do I let God take control of my life? help me...
Hey it's nver easy to deal with something like that, It definately must hurt, but you have to understand that True Love is not in feelings, you can't really predict what this guy will be after and if you guys get married. God has the best for you and if it's for this guy to get saved first, then so it will be. You should understand also that if you two get married, Your father will be God and Your Father in law will be Satan, now, would you ever stop your father in law from visiting? Nope. It's more than "we're in Love" feelings fade and Character has to come out. It may be hard, but God will heal you with time, especially because you want to Honor and obey Him. If This guy thinks less of your Faith, it won't be long before he thinks less of you, Thats the hard truth, Because it's God being thought less of Here.
Anyways i better end it here, God Bless and am sure you made the right Choice, Read and obeyed, i wish we were all like you...doers of the Word.
 
Upvote 0

angels23

Active Member
Nov 20, 2006
237
16
41
United Arab Emirates
✟15,423.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Single
Well, same situation here last week for me. Breaking up with a girl who claims to be a Christian, but her works and beliefs about the Bible, where not. I only known her for a month, so I couldn't imagine for 2 years with ur bf. But, it was I had to do and told her straight up what I believed in as a Christian. Now, the ball is in her court and leave it to God in prayer. Probablly won't see her anymore, unless she changes her ways, because I see hope in her. We'll see.

I just didn't feel like faking a relationship with her and knowing what I was doing, wasn't right in God's eyes.
Good stuff bro, Keep the faith, to be a good bf you need a Godfearing gf...he he...God Bless
 
Upvote 0

kuntrygurl_26

Veteran
Feb 19, 2004
1,395
51
39
Louisiana
✟1,810.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
That must have taken alot of guts. It is wonderful that you are that sensative to God. Great job! Now just stick in there. If it is ment to be between you two then God will make it happen in a way in which glorifies him! If not then God will send you the right one for you.

I have always believed that God will not send us the right one for us until we prove to him that HE is the true love of our lives and that we can have another in our life without neglecting him! Until we prove to God that he is our one and only true love then I believe we wont have our other!:)

Praying for u!
 
Upvote 0

OceanGirl

Well-Known Member
Nov 9, 2004
532
33
✟23,352.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
I'm sorry that happened and before my boyfriend, I had someone I loved who wasn't a Christian. It hurt to break up with him, but I got over it fast. I realized I just couldn't truly love or commit myself to someone who didn't love the Lord like I did. God may be giving you a test of your faith and character. Go with it. :)
 
Upvote 0

cutekid 4 Jesus

Regular Member
Jul 24, 2003
327
21
42
SCOTLAND
Visit site
✟23,063.00
Faith
Christian
well done. that must have been hard,I have been through it myself but it was easier for me as my ex bf refused to respect my beliefs on various things including premarital sex so he kinda forced me into leaving him.I am sure it must be so much more difficult if you were with a guy who treated you so well and respected your belief. You definitely made the right decision and God will bless you abundantly for it, you may not feel close to Him immediately but a change will happen,indeed it already is even if you dont see it.
 
Upvote 0

RonnyRulz

Well-Known Member
Oct 19, 2006
2,524
116
✟3,325.00
Faith
Other Religion
Marital Status
Private
Hey Everyone, i need some advice, I just broke with my boyfriend that I had been in a relationship with for almost 2 years. I am soo deeply in love with him still but after heavy conviction for a couple of months, I realized that it just wasn't really okay to be with him. After reading the scripture 2 Corinthians 6:14 and even studying the subject more.

I have been heart broken since.I Feel like I have lost a large part of me. What hurts more is that I know that it hurt him so bad. I hope he knows thats the only reason that I broke up with him and nothing more. He was a wonderful boyfriend. He did sooo much for me and now it seems like this is how I repay him? I feel like he probably hates me and hates christianity even more. He said a couple of things to me to make me realize that he really did not think highly of Christianity. I miss him so much and I just can't seem to fill the void. I am constantly thinking about him. I wake up thinking about him sometimes and I cry, I've been crying myself to sleep because I feel like I hurt him so Much.

I know that I need to grow in God and by knowing that I am doing something that is not pleasing in his eyes, my relationship with God would stay at a stand still. The problem is I don't know how to seek God, I miss the guy that i was in a relationship with and I just don't want to get over him. I am dwelling on him because I love him and I still want to be with him, Do I have to try to get over him? How do I let God take control of my life? help me...
Are you sure this was God's Will for you to break up with Him?

Our own personal interpretation of the Bible isn't the reason we should be ending relationships. It should be because it's God tell us to, after we pray about it.

I'm sure you made the right choice, but always be sure to pray pray pray first, and ask God. Don't read the Bible and assume based on your own understanding, "This must be the way." Instead, pray to God about it, and everytime you read the Bible, pray "Holy Spirit, please read the Bible to me. Please teach me, and be with me. Sit beside me as we read together."
 
Upvote 0

Silver-winged Flyer

I take the road less traveled
Jan 16, 2006
1,806
89
45
✟24,935.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Single
What you did must have been so difficult but I believe you did the right thing. God doesn't want us to be yoked with unbelievers but I'd pray that your ex b/f becomes a christian. Maybe breaking up with him will make him see that you have a strong faith and that might attract him to christianity.
 
Upvote 0

Blank123

Legend
Dec 6, 2003
30,062
3,897
✟71,875.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Are you sure this was God's Will for you to break up with Him?

Our own personal interpretation of the Bible isn't the reason we should be ending relationships. It should be because it's God tell us to, after we pray about it.

I'm sure you made the right choice, but always be sure to pray pray pray first, and ask God. Don't read the Bible and assume based on your own understanding, "This must be the way." Instead, pray to God about it, and everytime you read the Bible, pray "Holy Spirit, please read the Bible to me. Please teach me, and be with me. Sit beside me as we read together."
This or this might clarify the verse in question from Corinthians
 
Upvote 0

Blank123

Legend
Dec 6, 2003
30,062
3,897
✟71,875.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
The old testament? LOL

While we are at it, why not quote on how you aren't allowed to eat crab or wear clothes made from more than one fabric?

:p

the old and new are not mutually exclusive of one another - you need both to have a full understanding of Scripture. If you feel God's standards for His children to be only equally yoked with other believers have changed with the new testament, I encourage you to please show me why using Biblical exposition :)
 
Upvote 0

Sabina41

Well-Known Member
Oct 27, 2005
573
46
41
Maryland
Visit site
✟944.00
Faith
Methodist
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
I feel for you. I recently broke up with my non-Christian bf after 2 months. Like the previous poster said, I can't imagine if it had been 2 years. I missed him for a few days and still think of him and definitely still pray for him almost daily, but the fondness and longing is gone. He was completely surprised by my breaking up with him. He knew I was a Christian, but I guess I wasn't living it...something I'm addressing and being held accountable for by a Christian friend as a result. As far as whether it's God's will to break up with a non-Christian...yes, I knew the verses about being yoked with unbelievers but for me it was a deeper thing. There were parts of my life that I couldn't share with him. So many things he could never understand because he doesn't have a relationship with Jesus Christ. There was a crucial connection lacking. It was an extremely uncomfortable conversation, but after he got over the initial shock of it, we talked about God, religion, Christianity, purity, grace, works, heaven, hell, salvation...so many things for more than an hour. We've had a couple other conversations since. He's still as atheist as the day I broke up with him, but I can only hope and pray that by dating him, speaking the gospel to him, and laying that initial foundation, maybe one day he'll turn to the Lord. If I can have even a small part in that, great. For now, I feel closer to God and happier than I ever was when I was dating this guy because I know what I did was the right thing, no matter how difficult it was.
 
Upvote 0