Break up questions!

[musikbebe]

I broke up with my bf of almost 4 years...I'm still not sure why i did it...it feels like i've fallen out of sync with both God and him. I was saved just before I met him, and he was actually an answered prayer. Both of us grew a lot from that relationship. but now it seems like - both of us stopped growing. I can't hear God. I feel very blessed to still have my ex in my life and still think that somehow we will be together. But both of us are lost...i don't think either of us are quite in touch with God. I also judged my ex a lot towards the end i have to admit...i haven't been reaching out to God like I used to - feels like i've just lost the connection. I'm not even sure if I'm still saved...I don't feel bad about anything I do wrong...can't make myself. I just don't feel moved about anything. Lost that lovin feelin for God. Anybody know what's wrong with me? I don't know how to love anymore.

 

[mathias1979]

I know how you feel. At the beginning of my senior year of college I broke up with my girlfriend, after about 1 year. The situation wasn't exactly the same...I was feeling a little bit smothered and just felt like she loved me more than I loved her. I was scared because I wasn't feeling the same level of love for her as when we first started dating. But after talking to her a lot and thinking about it...at the bottom of all that was that I really felt distanced from God. That's why I was so scared and that's why I couldn't figure out whether I was truely in love with her. It took a couple months to get back up to steam in our relationship...and during that time it took a lot of prayers, both by myself and together with her. But now we are happily engaged to be married this July.

Naturally, when you find yourself drifting away from God, a lot of fears, worries, and doubts are going to come to your mind. You're going to find yourself giving into the temptation to sin and it's not surprising that ultimately that will have an affect on your relationships with others. At least that's what I realized when I went through my situation.

My advice is to just try to spend more time in meditation and prayer with God each day. Be open to talking to your ex about the situation...be honest and be willing to pray together with him. Even if you guys have never done it and feel a little uncomfortable with it...it will do wonders. Just take some time to refocus on God. You won't be able to regain your relationship with God and your ex overnight...so just be patient. Have faith that God knows what he's doing and try your best to keep focused on him.

Also, if you're not keeping a journal or diary...you may want to give it a try. It really helped me get some of my thoughts in order when I was having trouble. It also really helps to write as if you're writing to God, and not just to document your thoughts.

Have faith. Pray. You'll be fine.

-Matt

 

[musikbebe]

actually Matt, your situation is i think almost exactly my situation. except i'm younger n in my first year of college. when i went looking for advice on what i was feeling, i got both extremes - that if you're doubting, then obviously its not meant to be and that I'm so young; or you can decide to keep going and work at it (nothing's perfect). i think i've lost my focus and have gotten so distracted. my eyes wander looking at people on the outside and then i realize its whats inside that i need and had. anyways its very helpful knowing your past situation. Thank you very much for sharing that

 

[mathias1979]

well either extreme could be true. that's why you've just got to take some time out to refocus on God, pray, and listen to him. he might show you that you should stick with the relationship...or he might just reaffirm that it's time to move on. but it's tough to know for sure when you're not totally in tune with the Lord.

-Matt

 

[DaveKerwin]

don't question your salvation. You belong to the God.

Take this time for personal growth. Learn more about yourself, spent lots of quiet time to work through your feelings. Also during this period, begin to renew some things with your relationship with God. Maybe bring back bible study or whatever it is that has dropped off. You will be refined, wait through the difficult process.