Brace for impact!

[Jedi]

I feel like I'm on one of those Star Trek shows when the crew of the Enterprise sees a torpedo coming toward their ship and an officers yells, "Brace for impact!" The missile isn't here yet, but I think I see it coming. It's like seeing a fall about to happen, and you're already feeling yourself beginning to slip.


You see, there's this girl named Amber, whom I met about four years ago at a youth camp and we've kept in touch all this time. I know she likes me and I certainly like her, yet the distance between us has been a hindrance beyond belief: I live in Texas, she lives in east Mississippi, about 700 miles away. We've been talking constantly, calling from time to time, and there have been times when she would get up early in the morning just so we could talk before I went off to work. But this past week, she went to another youth camp and met this guy named "Beau." She told me that they really got to know each other and that there's some affections between the two of them (how serious, I don't know). I've written down the bulk of my emotions & thoughts over this matter in a recent journal entry posted below:


"I’m terrified, jealous, and quite frankly, upset. Amber came back from camp, and she met this guy Beau, whom she likes and he likes her in return. She told me they both cried as they parted ways. Oh, and of course he has to live a mere 1-2 hours away from her. Oh, come on! What the heck?! How can I compete with that? I’m half way across the world here and this new guy just waltzes right in and blows me away. He called her five times already today. Oh, it gets better. I just sent her about $50.00 worth of flowers. It should get to her tomorrow (Friday), and I fear that such a gesture of affection will now be wasted upon her because of this new guy. That’s just about the extent of my competitive powers. The guy’s even closer to her in age... what am I to do? I told her that I’ll call her some time tomorrow before 1:00, so I’ll have to do it while I’m at work – using a phone card, of course. I’m just afraid that a good-sized crash is awaiting me, just as always. I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, this time things would be different and it’s definitely not looking good."


Song of Solomon states that love's jealousy is as unyielding as the grave (8:6), and it seems that's true. Of course, I understand the mentality I should have would be to think solely of her happiness and not be worried about my own. Still, these affections don't make it easy. I'm just a little worried, I suppose, that this young lady's relationship with this new guy will be a hindrance to my relationship with her.


Any advice, ladies & gentlemen? I'm unsure as to whether I should fight for this girl or let God's will take its course. Both are things we must do at certain times in our lives, but I'm not certain as to when we should choose one course of action over the other. I don't think God is going to do everything for us in the realm of relationships, but I also don't think we're completely on our own in that field either. I'd hate to not do anything and then look back wishing that I had fought harder for this young lady instead of giving up. *Sigh* Things were so much simpler when we were children.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Any advice, ladies & gentlemen? I'm unsure as to whether I should fight for this girl or let God's will take its course. Both are things we must do at certain times in our lives, but I'm not certain as to when we should choose one course of action over the other. I don't think God is going to do everything for us in the realm of relationships, but I also don't think we're completely on our own in that field either. I'd hate to not do anything and then look back wishing that I had fought harder for this young lady instead of giving up. *Sigh* Things were so much simpler when we were children.

I don't have much advice really. I doubt it'll help to hear it but I know what you're going through. I'm in Michigan, the girl was in West Virginia then Florida. We chose to remain friends after I had told her how I felt. It was hard but eventually I got over it (right around the time she got married I think )

We still talk, but I've grown out of those feelings. Chosing to maintain the friendship was a long hard road. Looking back I wonder if it was worth it, still don't have an answer for that.

The only thing I can say is that God closes the doors he doesn't want us to walk through. I wasn't a Christian when this happened to me so I didn't have that thought to take comfort in. I have no doubt that if I knew God back then I would have been carried through it instead of grinding it out on my own.

But yeah, God knows what He's doing (I'm sure you're sick of hearing that), and the verse that always helped me remember that is Deu. 31:8 (I think)

"The Lord Himself has gone before you and will be with you. He will never leave you nor foresake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged."

No clue what's going to happen between you too, but God's already been there and He'll go with you when it's your turn.

Anywho, I know how much it sucks. I almost moved to Florida.

In retrospect, these hardships are what mold us into the people we are meant to be, so if it hurts that bad it's because you're going to grow that much from it.

 

[Jedi]

Points well taken, good sir. It's good to know that I'm not the only one here that has faced this sort of situation. I suppose, in the end, if this isn't meant to happen, then something else better will take its place, and that is an encouraging thought.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Points well taken, good sir. It's good to know that I'm not the only one here that has faced this sort of situation. I suppose, in the end, if this isn't meant to happen, then something else better will take its place, and that is an encouraging thought.

Yep, and you can't chose what happens, you can only chose how you react to it.

 

[KeilCoppes]

If she's smitten and he's local, you're toast at the general smitings level.

If she's only about smitings, I'm sorry to say you're better off.
If she's about more than smitings, then who knows what God will bring.

Over all as a personal observer of long distance, who's been there several times, I'd venture that you are quite possibly over. Local always has the major advantage. On the other hand, she still has you in the loop, which is a telling point. If she were totally gone, she wouldn't be talking to you except to say goodbye. You'll know in the next two weeks if not sooner. The flowers will bring some reaction. No matter which, be sure as always that your heart is in God's hands and not in your pocket. Do what you will, but make sure you're in prayer for God's will and not your own.

- a brother who's been there, but there is a friend who is closer than a brother.