BPD fellowship thread

AnointedPoetess · Jun 26, 2006

goldenviolet said:
sounds like you are in the process of learning about the features. this is the road to healling. being able to see is a great step. next is practicing managing it all. start with every minute. i mean stay in focus of one thing/thought at a time. distract yourself with favorite things. managing by trying new things, prayer, or coping skills. crisis lines, friends, here. learn the promises in the bible. God will take you thriugh it all. enough practice and you will feel control and power over these things. you are learning them younger than what i did. i learned these things in my 30's... no worries hun.

you will be very successful with Jesus on your side!

Thanks alot dee! Your grandson is a lil cutie! so handsome.. was learning these things hard for you??

Soulwings · Jun 29, 2006

/me peeks in
It's been awhile since I was here How are you all?

jess144 · Jun 30, 2006

Soulwings said:
/me peeks in
It's been awhile since I was here How are you all?

Hello everyone!

Just checking in. I haven't posted very much lately because I was out of town this past weekend and then this week has been a little crazy. I have been feeling a lot better lately, though. My anxiety is down and so is my depression. I feel less disconnected from reality and from people. I do worry, though, that I feel this way because I hardly have any stressors (I quit my job) and that when I get another job, I will go back to feeling bad. We shall see.
I had an interesting therapy appointment today. I have been going to "prayer counseling" where they use the principle of reaping and sowing in order to get to the root of unwanted behaviors. I think that today we gained some major ground. I have struggled with suicidiality on and off for about 3 years. Today I told her how when I was younger, my mom would tell me about how she wishes she were dead. The counselor told me that I might have learned my suicidal tendencies from that. She had me repent of my suicidal thoughts. I do feel better now. Lighter almost.
Okay, I'm done talking about myself. Hope that everyone is doing well and keeping their focus on God and His unfailing love for us!
Jessica

Soulwings · Jul 5, 2006

Jessica, your counseling sounds very interesting. And I'm glad that it helped you.

AnointedPoetess · Jul 10, 2006

Guys, my borderline is seeming to get worse especially in friendships. One week i like em' then the next i'm flippin' out. I can't take this. It's so hard to cope with i cant stand being like this.

goldenviolet · Jul 11, 2006

BP is helped by practicing. practice the things you know you should do. practice practice practice.

AnointedPoetess · Jul 13, 2006

goldenviolet said:
BP is helped by practicing. practice the things you know you should do. practice practice practice.

OK, you mean like the self soothing things or what? Is it also common for us with BPD to be manipulative? because i'm finding that thats what is happening to me alot in my friendships, and so on.

goldenviolet · Jul 23, 2006

anyone can be manipulative. not just BPD. that is something you can practice not doing. if you catch yourself, you can pratice not doing it. you can practice self soothing things too... some BPD traits can be practiced away. *kisses kim's owie*

goldenviolet · Jul 23, 2006

AnointedPoetess said:
Thanks alot dee! Your grandson is a lil cutie! so handsome.. was learning these things hard for you??

oh yes. it took me two seasons of classes to see how i could practice thing. i have a certificate in BPD. so i got lots of help. outside of the help it took me a few years to learn to take care of myself. but i have other diagnosis too. i need medication for bipolar-schitzophrenia. i think a good counsellor is a great coach. they know about the disorder and can cheer us on. i recommend counselling or group therepy... even with friends online. it helps to share the things we practice and learn. especially with God's children.
you probly do better than you know.
PBD people are negative and hard on themselves at times. treat yourself kindly. no beating self up for flaws. instead, love yourself (practice) like you would a dear friend.

*kisses more owies*

angelluv · Jul 23, 2006

Yeah, I find myself to be manipulative. Like I'll tell people about my problems to get my way. Or I used to anyway. BPD is hard to cope with, I'm still learning ways to make it better.

AnointedPoetess · Jul 23, 2006

angelluv said:
Yeah, I find myself to be manipulative. Like I'll tell people about my problems to get my way. Or I used to anyway. BPD is hard to cope with, I'm still learning ways to make it better.

Yeah I totally understand but its so hard 4 me bc its like automatic ya kno? what ways have u been learning??

angelluv · Jul 23, 2006

I've learned how to keep myself from depending on my friends so much. And I've learned not to steal things. And I'm currently trying to learn how not to find loopholes in everything. Thats automatic for me too. I'll find a loophole and without even thinking I jump on it.

prairieweasel · Jul 23, 2006

SOmetimes I feel extremely lonely.

prairieweasel · Jul 23, 2006

Im also oversensitive to the things people say and seem to go over and examin everything that someone told me and how they said it, almost looking for things that they can be hiding against me and different hints of disliking me. I have issues trusting people a lot, never can fully trust anyone. At times, only briefly I get feeling of trust, but I am never fully comfortable, always mapping things in my mind of how they might not like me. Its almost like being paranoid. Maybe it is being paranoid.

angelluv · Jul 23, 2006

Yeah. I'm struggling with that too. I was suspended from college because of my BPD, and I sometimes have this feeling like none of my friends want me around anymore. I know better, I think. But it's always nagging at me. I hate feeling lonely, but there are days where all I feel is lonely. And I do get paranoid, like I'll totally think someone is out to get me. Reading this post you might think I'm emotionally unstable, but the truth is I have gotten much better since I got suspended.

AnointedPoetess · Oct 31, 2006

I have a question, with BPD is it common to feel very posessive?

ZiSunka · Nov 6, 2006

This is going to seem weird maybe, but we are supposed to praise God in all circumstances, so I am going to praise God for having a sister with BPD.

I don't know why it's praiseworthy, but I'm hoping that someday I see the reason.

cypher000 · Nov 7, 2006

Ashes - Do we not all have something to share no matter who we are? I have BPD and though I am not so happy to have self-destructed all my life, I have experienced a life few will ever have the opportunity to see as I have. I may not ever be capable of having a close relationship with another person, but the depth at which I "feel" the world is so intense - truly in some sense this must be a blessing from God. I have struggled for 49 years on this earth and now I live alone, no longer having to worry about proving myself to anyone. I have finally found some peace... My illness prevents me from working and has ostracized me from my entire family; I currently do not have any friends either, but after 6 years of isolation I am finally beginning to take some steps back into a frightening world where I can hopefully have a friend or two...My Father in heaven is a great encourager whom I love and He loves me also...He has looked over me since I was a young boy and has known all the pain I suffered; I have felt His gentle hands on my shoulders many times.

ZiSunka · Nov 7, 2006

cypher000 said:
Ashes - Do we not all have something to share no matter who we are? I have BPD and though I am not so happy to have self-destructed all my life, I have experienced a life few will ever have the opportunity to see as I have. I may not ever be capable of having a close relationship with another person, but the depth at which I "feel" the world is so intense - truly in some sense this must be a blessing from God. I have struggled for 49 years on this earth and now I live alone, no longer having to worry about proving myself to anyone. I have finally found some peace... My illness prevents me from working and has ostracized me from my entire family; I currently do not have any friends either, but after 6 years of isolation I am finally beginning to take some steps back into a frightening world where I can hopefully have a friend or two...My Father in heaven is a great encourager whom I love and He loves me also...He has looked over me since I was a young boy and has known all the pain I suffered; I have felt His gentle hands on my shoulders many times.

Thanks Cypher!

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