Bored with ordinary conversations

[Left]

I need to be honest about something. I find myself getting tired of conversations with people. Not with friends, just with people I talk to but am not deep friends with. I feel no "challenge" anymore. When I started learning to debate, I met a couple of extreme prodigies who debated with me for a time. They were relentless and if you worded something wrong, they would say "Do you mean..." But from these people, I learned a lot. Because if I didn't read books to keep up, they would point out that I'm not making much sense to them. Then I try to debate with normal, ordinary people and I'm not saying I always win, but they don't challenge me to learn more. I guess my only real option is to study a lot and become a really, really good debater myself and be at the top of things. When you are at the top of your game, people arise who consider it a challenge to knock you off your perch. So by being a better debater in the future, I think I might just attract and find others who are good at it too and want to challenge me. Maybe even make some friendships from it, since I don't make a lot of friends on a regular basis these days.

I have a feeling that people will tell me "You should debate for God as a Christian, and not yourself." And I agree... but why not both?

 

[SkyWriting]

I need to be honest about something. I find myself getting tired of conversations with people. Not with friends, just with people I talk to but am not deep friends with. I feel no "challenge" anymore. When I started learning to debate, I met a couple of extreme prodigies who debated with me for a time. They were relentless and if you worded something wrong, they would say "Do you mean..." But from these people, I learned a lot. Because if I didn't read books to keep up, they would point out that I'm not making much sense to them. Then I try to debate with normal, ordinary people and I'm not saying I always win, but they don't challenge me to learn more. I guess my only real option is to study a lot and become a really, really good debater myself and be at the top of things. When you are at the top of your game, people arise who consider it a challenge to knock you off your perch. So by being a better debater in the future, I think I might just attract and find others who are good at it too and want to challenge me. Maybe even make some friendships from it, since I don't make a lot of friends on a regular basis these days.

I have a feeling that people will tell me "You should debate for God as a Christian, and not yourself." And I agree... but why not both?

How much of a friend are you for others?
Among the many tasks we are given in
life, entertaining others is low on the list.

 

[Left]

How much of a friend are you for others?
Among the many tasks we are given in
life, entertaining others is low on the list.

I see what you mean about being a friend to have friends. But these days, I'd just like to make friends a bit more organically. Saying "Do you want to be my friend?" rarely works, you just have to find people with the same interests as you. And I have the interest of debating.

 

[Left]

But basically, I think I could make more friends if my personality was a bit more "fluffy". I can't stand being fluffy though and am not naturally inclined to it, so I'd rather attract people who prefer a meaty conversation over a whole lot of fluffiness.

I do get a bit more fluffy as you get to know me, though.

 

[SkyWriting]

I see what you mean about being a friend to have friends. But these days, I'd just like to make friends a bit more organically. Saying "Do you want to be my friend?" rarely works, you just have to find people with the same interests as you. And I have the interest of debating.

"Do you want to be my friend?" is the opposite of being a friend. You are immediately
asking somebody for a commitment to you. Being a friend is you committing to what
another person needs regardless of your initial interest.

 

[SkyWriting]

But basically, I think I could make more friends if my personality was a bit more "fluffy". I can't stand being fluffy though and am not naturally inclined to it, so I'd rather attract people who prefer a meaty conversation over a whole lot of fluffiness.

I do get a bit more fluffy as you get to know me, though.

People are seeking a commitment from you, in new friendships.

 

[CallofChrist]

I can relate a bit about not wanting to be "fluffy" and finding friends. Over the years it seems many of my friends have drifted away, though I try to be a good friend. I need more new friends, I guess, but meeting new people can be hard for me (I have some social anxiety).

This thread makes me think about these things, so I am glad for it
Thanks for sharing so honestly, both of you.

 

[SkyWriting]

Over the years it seems many of my friends have drifted away, though I try to be a good friend. I need more new friends, I guess,

You need to be a friend to more people. Not collect more friends.

 

[CallofChrist]

I shall certainly try
Lord willing (and I know he will help me) I will be a good friend

 

[Doug Melven]

I see what you mean about being a friend to have friends. But these days, I'd just like to make friends a bit more organically. Saying "Do you want to be my friend?" rarely works, you just have to find people with the same interests as you. And I have the interest of debating.

First of all, why not start a debate on what is the best way to get friends/be a friend, then go and do whatever the best way comes out to be?
Also, you say you have an interest in debating, hone up on your knowledge of the OT and go debate some Jews who don't believe Jesus is the Messiah.
Or just find some Bible subject that a group of people don't believe, get fully knowledgeable about it and go debate with them.
This is what the Apostle Paul did, he was a great debater.