Good dear friend of mine is in the middle of a particularly nasty divorce with his second wife. He's a sweet, sweet, guy who keeps finding girls who walk all over him. The first wife used him to get through nursing school, then left him - she didn't make a big deal during the divorce. This one, we thought from the beginning she was marrying him to get an alimony check and sure enough, that's what she's going for. Without going into details, she's done some really nasty stuff to him, and he's having to pay lots in legal fees to fight her. You can't blame him for being angry.
Anyway, he called last night to get a layman's explanation of a letter he got from his attorney. We talked a good 45 minutes. In that time, it hit me that he is so angry, and hates his ex so much that it's clouding his judgment. We don't blame him because we saw she was a piece of work from day one, but his need to get even with her is overwhelming everything, is where I think he's going to make some rash decisions on things that might not be the best thing for him. She's really brought out the worst in him.
He needs to let go of the hate and just focus on getting out of his marriage unscathed. I know, it's easy for me to say, I've never been in a yucky marriage, but on the outside looking in, he's going to hurt himself. He's a Christian and going through Christian counseling. He should know about forgiveness and Matthew 6, but I don't think he does.
To those of you who have gone through divorces, was there a book or something like that, which helped you come to terms with what was going on, and to learn to forgive and move on? Something that I can just get on Amazon and send to him? He won't listen to either my husband or I if we talk to him. Every time I tell him to quit worrying about her stupid accusations, that there is no way they can hold in court (i.e. claiming house is marital property when there is an abundance of documentation that it isn't - Missouri doesn't have community property laws - you don't have to work for lawyers to see that one), he accuses me of not understanding his pain, or defending a "corrupt legal system," etc.
He's really getting into reading devotionals and other Christian books. Maybe I can reach him through another Christian book.
Thanks for any advice and recommendation you can give.
Anyway, he called last night to get a layman's explanation of a letter he got from his attorney. We talked a good 45 minutes. In that time, it hit me that he is so angry, and hates his ex so much that it's clouding his judgment. We don't blame him because we saw she was a piece of work from day one, but his need to get even with her is overwhelming everything, is where I think he's going to make some rash decisions on things that might not be the best thing for him. She's really brought out the worst in him.
He needs to let go of the hate and just focus on getting out of his marriage unscathed. I know, it's easy for me to say, I've never been in a yucky marriage, but on the outside looking in, he's going to hurt himself. He's a Christian and going through Christian counseling. He should know about forgiveness and Matthew 6, but I don't think he does.
To those of you who have gone through divorces, was there a book or something like that, which helped you come to terms with what was going on, and to learn to forgive and move on? Something that I can just get on Amazon and send to him? He won't listen to either my husband or I if we talk to him. Every time I tell him to quit worrying about her stupid accusations, that there is no way they can hold in court (i.e. claiming house is marital property when there is an abundance of documentation that it isn't - Missouri doesn't have community property laws - you don't have to work for lawyers to see that one), he accuses me of not understanding his pain, or defending a "corrupt legal system," etc.
He's really getting into reading devotionals and other Christian books. Maybe I can reach him through another Christian book.
Thanks for any advice and recommendation you can give.
