Bonding Issues???

[Katie12]

Ok as yall know me and my son Andrew are really close,ok well see im pregnant thats all well and good but hes acting horrible,hes fighting with me,spiting,yelling he told his sister to shutup!!i mean ive never had to raise my voice at him,and im not being over what ever ive never raised a finger at him either and i had to send him to bed early,and hes grounded ...maybe hes feeling left out a bit...so i thought it would be like cool for me to take him with me when i went to the doctors office,like when they look at the baby,i thought that would be neat for him,something that only me and him could see,and Katarena is too little to come,so it would be only a mum and son thing together ...what do yall think,is that a good idea or no? .


Blessed be,
Katie

 

[Princessperky]

Ask him, does he want to go to the Dr? Both my kids always go, they love it. But your son is old enough to not like it. One on one time is always good IMO though. If he doesn't like the Dr, try something else, A game he is old enough for but DD isn't?

Also have you asked him what is wrong? I dunno how old he is...but I know with DH if he is cranky I often have to lay out a half a dozen suggestions before we work out the right reason. So long as I do it without implying that any suggestion is better or worse to be the problem we generally work out the 'crankyness' pretty quick. But if your DS is too young he wont get what you are trying to do, or will just pick a reason to get you to stop asking. If he is old enough, it might be a completly unrelated issue to pregnancy, but since you are pregnant that is the first thing that comes to mind (which it would be for me too) Just saying.

 

[Ohiomom2]

Yes it is a good idea. My DD went to all my appts including my non stress test, US, diabetic stuff etc. She was even there through the entire birth process and we have never dealt with jealousy issues while I was pregnant or now. She does have times where she "spanks" her sister instead of letting us handle things but she also know that she is not allowed to do that and it in now way is a sibling rivalry as it is her wanting to be a 'mommy'. If you do take your son to the appt, could you do something else either before or after? Like take a walk, go to the mall and look around, a hobby shop if he is into that, etc so he knows that the whole son and mom thing isn't focused on just the baby. Let him know that you want to know how he feels about the baby and that you won't get upset at him for his feelings, like if he says I don't want a baby or take the baby back, etc. Make him a part of the process, let him know that being a big brother is a great honor, and tell him the difference between being a big brother and being a baby.

 

[Entertaining_Angels]

I'd make some special time with him in addition to the appointment. My son was almost five when I was pregnant and he was so cute. He started telling everybody he had a baby in his tummy too and the u/s tech even left a picture of my baby on the screen and 'did' a quick u/s on him. I really made sure to spend lots of time with him when I was pregnant and assured him that he'd always be my special little guy.

 

[Leanna]

I'd make some special time with him in addition to the appointment. My son was almost five when I was pregnant and he was so cute. He started telling everybody he had a baby in his tummy too and the u/s tech even left a picture of my baby on the screen and 'did' a quick u/s on him. I really made sure to spend lots of time with him when I was pregnant and assured him that he'd always be my special little guy.

I agree. I think it is a good idea, it may be the baby coming, or may he has hit a new stage in development. I was concerned by the way you said you have never raised your voice at him, although I think keeping tempers under check is a good thing, letting a child know who is the parent and discipline are good things too. You should consider reading "Bringing Up Boys" By Dr. Dobson, it had some good thoughts about raising our boys into men...

 

[Entertaining_Angels]

I agree. I think it is a good idea, it may be the baby coming, or may he has hit a new stage in development. I was concerned by the way you said you have never raised your voice at him, although I think keeping tempers under check is a good thing, letting a child know who is the parent and discipline are good things too. You should consider reading "Bringing Up Boys" By Dr. Dobson, it had some good thoughts about raising our boys into men...

Yes, I agree Bringing Up Boys is a wonderful book. I bought the cd's and would listen to them on my daily hour long commute with my son. I second the recommendation

 

[Katie12]

Well hes 5 years old,he said he wants to go with me but every time i ask him about whats wrong with him he gets quiet,and starts getting nervous.He told me somthing last night,it was about a girl he liked,so im guessing maybe they got into a fight or maybe somthing else but he said that he would tell me today so im crossing my fingers and prayin he wont shut himself up again.So far he has been a lil better helping me clean,picking up his toys,putting cups in the dish washer for me,ect.SO hes been better and thats really good hes still punshed but ive eased up on him not as bad he got the tv back but only an hour on week days and a hour and a half on weekends,but hes only grounded till friday so we will see what happens and i willl keep yall posted on what he tells me .Thanks for the info. like always i always love the help and support i get and idea's. 's to all.


Blessed be,
Katie