Bold face truth teller?

[jcright]

Now I've heard of a bold faced liar, but a bold faced truth teller?

I work as a secretary at a university. At the moment, I'm having a lot of problems with one of my faculty. She is a habitual liar. Normally she doesn't tell blatant lies, usually it's just subtle lies through deception...usually through a play on words or something. Nonetheless, she does it frequently. Anyhow, normally I wouldn't say anything because it would be my word against hers, however, recently I have caught her in at least three blatant lies that I can prove. There is a fourth one that I'm confident I can prove if I had access to her computer. I'm ashamed to admit that the other reason I didn't call her out on her lies is becaues in the past it hasn't directly effected me. However, if one were to believe what she says, then they would think that I am negligent in my responsibilities. So, I'm just as much of an enabler as anyone else around here. I plan to change that.

I have very little tolerance for those that lie and deceive. There were several e-mails flung between her and I before I sent an e-mail naming her a liar. Yes, I directly called someone a liar. Think that's bold? I tried to keep the e-mails between her and I, but she insisted on including the chair, the dean and someone from another department...so, when I made my statement, I included everyone that was on her previous send list. My friends and family not only think I'm bold for telling the truth, but they think I'm bold for including everyone in the reply list. Keep in mind, everyone on the list already knew she was lying...it was nothing new, just unspoken.

Since when is telling the truth bold? I realize that, when I talk, I should not be out to offend people. I realize that I should say things in a loving manner. However, I have little use for PC or diplomatic word dancing. You might ask if I said she was a liar in a loving manner? How would one go about that? If she were a Christian, this would be so much easier. I could take my bible to her office and do some thumping. Anyhow, the answer would be no. I don't hate her, but I can't sit back and not call a spade a spade but I know I didn't lovingly...although I can say that I did it with the intent of correction. In truth, I pity her. Her life must be complete empty to have to behave as she does.

To make things more difficult, my boss and his boss are both pretty much spineless. She brings in money to the department so they don't want to do much, but they agree that she needs to be straightened out. Why is it that I'm the only one that is willing to do it?

Things aren't hopeless. I know that I have the backing of the chair and dean (even if they won't do anything...or, do as little as they have to), I also have the backing of the union (who knew they could be useful?). All I have to do is say the word and I can file a grievance. That, however, is not what I want. I want to work in a normal office environment where I don't have to worry about people being childish (there's a lot more about her that I'm haven't mentioned).

I'm not looking for trouble...then again maybe I am because I always seem to find myself in the midst of trouble. On the other hand, if I let things go, then she'll continue in her behavior...a behavior that puts a black mark on my name. Everyone involved knows she's lying, but I feel that if she isn't stopped, then somewhere along the way she'll make a name for me as being someone who doesn't do their job.

Anyhow, since when did telling the truth become bold? I've been told to tone it down a notch because I might put my job at risk. That is an actual fear that people have! Why should we be afraid to tell the truth as it is???

Thanks for reading this rant. I'll ask you to continue reading long enough to pray for me. On the one hand, I don't want to have to file a grievance. It is just ridiculous to have to go that far. On the other hand, I can't permit her behavior to continue but my boss and his boss are too spineless to stop her. I know the grievance won't help. Oh, she might straighten up a little bit afterwards, but that won't change her true habits. It will also make my job harder since I will still have to work with her...not to mention the fact that her husband also works in my department.

Okay, so where's that violin I ordered? I need to finish my favorite song ,"cry me a river".

 

[CFoster]

You might ask if I said she was a liar in a loving manner? How would one go about that?

That is pretty funny, I like that.

 

[Matthan]

Well, JCRight, now you've done it. You told the truth, and you are the one most likely to pay when the piper finishes the tune. Why? Because that is the way the godless work. ALWAYS!!!! They have no compunction whatsoever about lying, just as they have long memories and will wait for the opportunity to "get back" at anyone who does not put up with them. Oh, well!!!!!!

Now, for some advice. My suggestion would to be for you, in the future, to take the Christian high road. However, I would also suggest you cover your butt (no offense meant) by making sure your supervisors, all of them, always know what the real truth is. You can do that simply by cc's of everything the liar says or does when it affects you in any way. Tell yourself that, regardless of what she might do, it is a small thing that you readily forgive. Then, notify those that matter, and forget it.

What I am trying to say is that you cannot allow or permit her to have any unchristian control of your life. Every time she lies, and you respond to her in any way, she is controlling you to at least some extent. that is why you should ignore her (to the extent possible), notify your supers of her activities, and go on with your job and your life.

This advice might not seem adequate to you. You might want blood from her stone for the wrongs she has done to you. That is why you should always keep your faith uppermost in your mind, even when dealing with her. And remember what will definitely happen at some point in the future. She will be held to account for her actions before God's judgement. As odd as it might seem, you might be there too, begging her judge for mercy on her behalf. It will not do any good, of course, because God's judgement is always fair, just as it is always impersonal. She will suffer to the degree He feels is justified by both her actions and her inactions during her life here on earth.

I hope my ramblings here might have helped you. If not, just hit your knees in a quiet, private place and your best Friend will give you His opinions. They will help more than anything else, believe me!

Matthan <J><

 

[jcright]

Matthan, thanks for the advice.

My boss and his boss knows everything. They have been cc'd on almost every e-mail since the beginning. The fact that they are silent tells me they are on my side...but, like I mentioned before, they are spineless. So, in that area I know I'm covered.

Oddly enough, I don't want blood. I'm not looking for revenge. I would be content if my boss were to step in and control her (since she apparently can't control herself)...he is, after all, her boss as well. I don't expect an apology out of her. I don't expect a change in behavior. I think, however, that it's reasonable to expect a certain amount of discipline within the office. We are getting a new chair later this year, so I'm really hoping this one is strong and doesn't get walked all over by the faculty like this one does.

 

[Gwenyfur]

I don't have a violin, but I do have a piano.... *proceeds to play "what a friend we have in Jesus"*

In these days it is a sad thing to say, but it does indeed take boldness to say the truth. Any truth, whether refuting a lie or sharing the gospel. It takes a boldness that is sadly lacking on more and more people. I, like you, have little use for the fencing of words or the latest politically correct way to handle things. Right is right, wrong is wrong. Jesus never compromised His words, we shouldn't either.

You go girl! Keep the faith and keep running the race. You are in my prayers for strength and guidance...

I know many people don't hold a lot of stock in the Proverbs these days, but this small passage might encourage you to keep after it.

Prov 13:15-18 KJV

"Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors is hard. Every prudent man dealeth with knowledge: but a fool lyeth open his folly. A wicked messenger falleth in to mischief: but a faithful ambassador is health. Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured."

God Bless

 

[jcright]

I don't have a violin, but I do have a piano.... *proceeds to play "what a friend we have in Jesus"*

*starts humming*Play us a song you'r the piano chic. Play us a song tonight. Cause we're all in the mood for a worship tune, cause that gets us worshipping right. La dee dah, dah dee dah...

Sorry, that was the first thing to come to mind.

In these days it is a sad thing to say, but it does indeed take boldness to say the truth. Any truth, whether refuting a lie or sharing the gospel. It takes a boldness that is sadly lacking on more and more people. I, like you, have little use for the fencing of words or the latest politically correct way to handle things. Right is right, wrong is wrong. Jesus never compromised His words, we shouldn't either.

You go girl! Keep the faith and keep running the race. You are in my prayers for strength and guidance...

*checks his equipment* umm...excuse me, I'm a dude, not a dudette Perhaps you are getting me confused with Cright?

I know many people don't hold a lot of stock in the Proverbs these days, but this small passage might encourage you to keep after it.

Prov 13:15-18 KJV

"Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors is hard. Every prudent man dealeth with knowledge: but a fool lyeth open his folly. A wicked messenger falleth in to mischief: but a faithful ambassador is health. Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured."

God Bless

Well the shame part is right. I know I'm ashamed for her, as are other people that I know on campus. The poverty one...monetary wise, that probably isn't true...God wise, on the other hand, I think she is seriously missing a relationship with Him.