Body Image and Bridal Gowns

[Verve]

I really couldn't think of a better place on CF to share this but I saw this video on youtube. It really spoke to me about how women are encouraged to look "perfect" on the big day.

I've seen articles the past year or so about "brideorexia" and as someone who has always struggled with my own body image it's scary. I started to search about this because as I started looking at getting in better shape for my FH I found my patterns slipping into an area that felt distorted.

Does anyone else struggle with this idea that you should look a certain way on your wedding day?

 

[SparkyMaddie]

I'm 6'0...I don't want to look like a tree..but,I plan on a very slim gown,not alot of frills..I like Kate Middleton's look..I'm not letting any of this bother me...now the hair issue is another topic..

 

[Verve]

I'm 6'0...I don't want to look like a tree..but,I plan on a very slim gown,not alot of frills..I like Kate Middleton's look..I'm not letting any of this bother me...now the hair issue is another topic..

I'll admit that my hair has been on my mind a lot lately too.
Though all the ladies in my bridal party have longer hair, so I decided they all get updos while I'm either wearing mine down or half up.

 

[IrishBay07]

I still have almost 15 months until my wedding (long engagement), but I have to admit that I also worry about my weight and body image. Because I am planing my wedding long distance (From Idaho to Pennsylvania) I won't see my dress until Christmas. That will be my first/last fitting until a week before the wedding. So I kind of feel pressure to be in shape and at my "goal weight" by then.

 

[Verve]

I still have almost 15 months until my wedding (long engagement), but I have to admit that I also worry about my weight and body image. Because I am planing my wedding long distance (From Idaho to Pennsylvania) I won't see my dress until Christmas. That will be my first/last fitting until a week before the wedding. So I kind of feel pressure to be in shape and at my "goal weight" by then.

That must be difficult. Especially with not being able to see your dress.
I have mine hanging in my closet and I still worry about it.

 

[Bridesire]

Every brides agony are really how their bridal gown will finally look like on their wedding day, that's why I really suggest that you should first get details or new ideas from different bridal gown designers or site on what you really like your wedding dresses will look like and you know you'll look good at it. So might as well you wants to explore in the bridesire site too.

 

[Inkachu]

Whoever decided that white was the bride's color needs to be slapped, first of all White is just about the most NON slimming color there is. Current trends in bridal gowns (99% of them seem to be strapless anymore) are also extremely unkind to the "not so thin" among us.

Fortunately, it's fast becoming more and more acceptable to buck the trends, and pick whatever the heck YOU want to wear for your wedding. After all, traditions change constantly, and in the end, the POINT of the whole thing is to celebrate your union, not to honor 10,000 various traditions that have nothing to do with you or your family. I'm seeing more and more brides wearing non-bridal gowns, going with beautiful, fun dresses of all shapes, styles, and colors. Kudos!

I cringe when I look at my own wedding photos. I look ethereal from the neck up, but that darn white dress... ugh... it accentuated all the wrong things lol. Looking back, I wish I'd had the guts to go with a darker color. I'm hoping that someday, we can do a vow renewal where I'll have lost some weight and will NOT be wearing white!

 

[Johnnz]

The body image idolatry is a real killer for many. It' snot just your wedding day that it can affect, but how you feel about yourself during your entire life. Christians need to affirm the wholeness and wonder of our God created humanity which includes our bodies as His temple.

See your body poorly and how will you approach sex within marriage - as some apology for being so 'unattractive'? Lots of myths need exposing and Christians should be leading the way since God places such a high value on our bodies.

John
NZ

 

[BowTied]

My own bride had a heck of a time finding a proper bridal gown for our wedding in '07. Everywhere she went, the "gowns" were nothing more than overblown prom dresses - all bare arms, bare shoulders, bare necks. She wanted something with long sleeves, a high collar, and all the frills, ruffles, lace, and beading she could find. She finally found a proper bridal gown online, some site that sells specifically to brides for church weddings, as well as to orthodox Jews, for whom being modest and traditional is the top priority. I'm happy to say, she took my breath away as she came down the aisle!

 

[Inkachu]

Bow - I also checked out some of those "modest" gown websites, and those dresses are even more beautiful to me, than the modern "strapless prom gown" styles you see everywhere. Heck, one of the associate pastors in my church just got married (early 20's) and his wife wore one of those things, and her "assets" were spilling out everywhere, and I'm thinking "you're a pastor! what kind of example is this to set?!"

Like your wife, I wanted to be modest and beautiful, and I found my gown on a site that sells medieval/Renaissance style dresses. For under $50, you can't beat that!

 

[CounselorForChrist]

The wedding is one of those things where any fears of not looking perfect are in overdrive for a woman. My wife is skinnier then a toothpick and still wanted slim looking but beautiful for her dress. Alot of this is of course because of media, romance movies, models...all this stuff thats pounded in a womans head since birth. So when the wedding comes its hard for them to separate realistic looks from fantasy looks.

Which is why I think the husbands have a hard time with it because we think you are beautiful no matter what you look like or the dress you wear. My wife asked me about colors and designs...etc. I gave my views but told her I wanted her to wear what she always dreamed of wearing (within financial reason).

My wifes dress was strapless and sort of came up close to her neck like an opened tulip. It was very beautiful. We made her a veil for the dress, well my mother did. Her dress train (is that how its spelled?) was about 6 feet long though and got dirty dragging on the ground. None the less she was beautiful

Like your wife, I wanted to be modest and beautiful, and I found my gown on a site that sells medieval/Renaissance style dresses. For under $50, you can't beat that!.

I wanted my wife to have the dress that Arwen from Lord of the Rings wore. Including the necklace, tiara...etc. I found it but it was $1400. I itty bitty bit out of my price range by about $1350. LOL

Whoever decided that white was the bride's color needs to be slapped,

I understand why white is chosen but to me it seems like a complicated color since you want to beautiful and expect that dress to stay perfectly clean...despite the fact its white. As with many brides my wife had a white dress, but the bridal party (and overall theme) was a royal blue type color. I thought my wife would have looked nice in a royal blue dress but in her country white is the norm.

My advice is just remember even though you want to look perfect for your wedding. In the end its about you and your husband making memories and committing to vows.

 

[Inkachu]

My wifes dress was strapless and sort of came up close to her neck like an opened tulip. It was very beautiful. We made her a veil for the dress, well my mother did. Her dress train (is that how its spelled?) was about 6 feet long though and got dirty dragging on the ground. None the less she was beautiful.

Do you have any pictures you'd be willing to share?

I wanted my wife to have the dress that Arwen from Lord of the Rings wore. Including the necklace, tiara...etc. I found it but it was $1400. I itty bitty bit out of my price range by about $1350. LOL

Aww, it's a shame I didn't know this before. The site I used for my dress also has an "Arwen" dress for the same price range as mine ($50ish). They also have a huge selection of colors you can choose from.

I understand why white is chosen but to me it seems like a complicated color since you want to beautiful and expect that dress to stay perfectly clean...despite the fact its white. As with many brides my wife had a white dress, but the bridal party (and overall theme) was a royal blue type color. I thought my wife would have looked nice in a royal blue dress but in her country white is the norm.

Well, you're only going to wear the dress once, so keeping it clean really shouldn't be an issue, unless you're on the beach or outdoors or something like that. I do wish I'd been brave enough to wear a non-white color, too.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Do you have any pictures you'd be willing to share?

I can't find any good shots at all really. Theres people in the way or lots of stuff lol. They don't really have wedding pictures like we do where the bride is in her gown by herself. It looks like most simple dresses really. I'll see if anyone she knows happen to have gotten a shot of her closer.

Aww, it's a shame I didn't know this before. The site I used for my dress also has an "Arwen" dress for the same price range as mine ($50ish). They also have a huge selection of colors you can choose from.

Oh wow. I can always but it and remarry her. lol

Well, you're only going to wear the dress once, so keeping it clean really shouldn't be an issue, unless you're on the beach or outdoors or something like that. I do wish I'd been brave enough to wear a non-white color, too.

Very true. Where she is at they don't even keep the dresses. I think. Open houses with tropical humidity and limited storage makes it hard for them to keep.

 

[Inkachu]

I'm not overly sentimental about my dress. I think it's stuffed in a closet somewhere lol.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I'm not overly sentimental about my dress. I think it's stuffed in a closet somewhere lol.

While I understand some women cherish it like its a prized possession, I don't see the big deal. The more important part of the wedding was bonding with my wifes heart. So thats more cherished. Although I do have my barong (the mans top at the wedding). No idea what I will do with it. lol

 

[JojotheBeloved]

It is difficult to find a wedding gown that will flatter one's body properly - mostly due to all of them looking pretty much the same and all of them being sewn in lots and lots and lots of layers of fabric. But I think for any clothing one wears, you should dress the body you have (not the body you wish you had) and don't spend money on anything that doesn't flatter the body you have. But that's also what fittings and adjustments are for. My only worry about my appearance on my wedding day is that I can fit into my gown (because I got it as part of a sample sale and although it is beautiful and fits me nearly perfectly, I can't gain too much weight or lose too much weight or it won't fit right). As long as the gown fits, there are lots of tricks a good photographer can use to better flatter you in pictures. And no one is going to dare tell you you're not absolutely beautiful on your wedding day.

 

[pittsflyer]

Must not be beat into their heads anymore since we are one of the most obese nations in the world.

The wedding is one of those things where any fears of not looking perfect are in overdrive for a woman. My wife is skinnier then a toothpick and still wanted slim looking but beautiful for her dress. Alot of this is of course because of media, romance movies, models...all this stuff thats pounded in a womans head since birth. So when the wedding comes its hard for them to separate realistic looks from fantasy looks.

Which is why I think the husbands have a hard time with it because we think you are beautiful no matter what you look like or the dress you wear. My wife asked me about colors and designs...etc. I gave my views but told her I wanted her to wear what she always dreamed of wearing (within financial reason).

My wifes dress was strapless and sort of came up close to her neck like an opened tulip. It was very beautiful. We made her a veil for the dress, well my mother did. Her dress train (is that how its spelled?) was about 6 feet long though and got dirty dragging on the ground. None the less she was beautiful


I wanted my wife to have the dress that Arwen from Lord of the Rings wore. Including the necklace, tiara...etc. I found it but it was $1400. I itty bitty bit out of my price range by about $1350. LOL


I understand why white is chosen but to me it seems like a complicated color since you want to beautiful and expect that dress to stay perfectly clean...despite the fact its white. As with many brides my wife had a white dress, but the bridal party (and overall theme) was a royal blue type color. I thought my wife would have looked nice in a royal blue dress but in her country white is the norm.

My advice is just remember even though you want to look perfect for your wedding. In the end its about you and your husband making memories and committing to vows.